How Are You Feeling Right Now?

I'm glad you bottled out and are still here. I hope the papering is a bit of a distraction and you get better mentally very soon.

My daughter doesn't need me in her life. It's becoming crystal clear that I won't get to meet my grandson or have a relationship with my daughter. When I think about this situation it stirs up memories of the past, then come the regrets.

Irony, impatience, anxious. If there was a known way of being anxiety-free forever, my mind would probably find a way to be anxious aobut it. I over-think things to an absurd level. I've been catching it lately, doing more mindful breath work, but the anxiety is persistent. Maybe this is partly why I am good at painting, because my brain's, or my frontal lobes I guess, is addicted to analysing how things appear.

@Lane

Really sorry to hear that @Lane, that's really tough.

Depressed I didn’t get paid at work today but I’m still working today

The good news is that I didn't get depressed last night and was too tired to care. Today I am busy and getting in the groove of being alone but not lonely so i escaped this round of depression. hopefully I will miss the next one also.

I'm tentatively optimistic. It's working, finally, to intentionally allow certain thoughts to have a few moments' of time instead of reacting to them with anxiety. Being alone for the rest of my life instead of being blindsided by abuse is starting to feel fine.