3 or so which just increased to that the past couple of hours after receiving very bad news about a good friend who is dying and not getting help he needs it’s making me crazy not to be able to help him in any way other than a brief phone call (because he is in pain and fatigued). I feel so incredibly helpless. I want to drive to Dallas and get him and it is not an option (ugly family stuff)
How are you today 1-10?
- Thread starter Walker
- Start date
I was hoping for hugs,TY; they always help, especially from people I know understand. (h) @LumberJack
I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I agree that distraction is a good approach. Something else that has personally helped me, which I learned from DBT, is to act opposite to my emotion. I know it can feel like the last thing you want to do, but putting on a funny movie when I'm down has made a real difference for me.
I'm somewhere between 2 and 9. Honestly no clue and I don't seem to be even in the same ballpark from one minute to the next. In simply writing these few sentences I have already cycled through feeling relatively okay to utter desolation for at least two full circuits. I just feel like no matter what I do it's never good enough, and ultimately I am putting effort into things that I shouldn't be while neglecting true priorities. I'm disoriented, disillusioned and alienated. I don't THINK I'm the crazy one - but if that's so I cannot explain why so few others see how messed up things are and just go on with the status quo.
Overall an 8 today with periodic spikes up to 9½ & then - thank God - back down again. I called my psychologist earlier. We talked about hospitalization if I get to a place where fighting suicidal impulses becomes too tiring. But I'm so ashamed of my thoughts & feelings. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a mid-Gen Xer. I should have my stuff together by now. But I don't. The shame I feel makes everything worse. She gave me permission to call her at night for help because I & many alters (I'm DID & C-PTSD) inside suffer a lot of flashbacks & body memories at night. My psychologist means well but I won't abuse her boundaries like that. I can call Dr. A_____. I don't feel shame like mosaic does. I'm Hanna, an 11-year-old helper inside. I was never hurt but I know a lot. Our system is called The Formation. Yes, I can call her!!!🐻🐢🌈🌷🦋
