It sounds a bit like you're too worried you're not interesting enough or will bore some neighbors. I don't think you're boring. I also have a hard time lately with going outside where neighbors will sit, but they smoke and smoke weed. It's not that that bothers me much. They are younger. It's more the embarrassment of how my son acted around here, but even though they are younger then me they are very insightful and direct about things when I talk a bit about my problems. I find I can say too much of my own life. But what does it matter in the end though?
If they judge, they judge. It wont matter. I also need to socialize and find friends. The only thing I can think of right now, is they used to have a book club at the library. I missed it the year I was interested, it starts in september, you have to purchase the book other people will read with you and then get together to discuss the book. Another thing that we used to have is time with others with mental health problems for coffee and snacks somewhere. I didn't find friends that way, more like they felt they could ''use me'' as a venting board, or one even noted she liked my apartment. I had just met her. The next day she was asking for money for her baby. I just told her I can't, and asked if she knew about the family responsibility program. It ensures the father gives child support.
It was funny, I was late for that first meeting. They all asked if i was the teacher that was going to speak that evening. I just said no politely, and we sat around the table almost doing nothing since the speaker didn't show up. I found it a bit silly, we played snakes and ladders and ate small treats.
The trick would be for me to find people that are intellectually stimulating. I'm not putting down anyone for mental health issues, but some are almost unreachable. I did donate a few things to the woman that lived in my apartment building, and listened to her a few times before she moved.
Now I'm even older. I'd love to know how to get over the anxiety and how and where do I meet people like me? I really think the older we get the harder it is to make friends, everyone seems to have their own friend circle. In a way, I'm content without many friends. I say I have a friend or 2 but it's always me that texts or calls first. I lost a best friend of almost 50 years with no real good explanation. That hurt. I don't know. If you go shopping at some flower store, try chatting with people? it's different these days, everyone is usually staring at their phone, if I go for coffee, people aren't interested in saying hi to someone they don't know. I find it a bit ridiculous, for a long time, I've noticed young people sitting together. Not even talking to each other. All of them on their phones. When my dad was alive, I told him look at that, he smiled and said ''maybe they are talking to each other on their phones''... it was funny. But not, everything is going through technology. I don't think it's good for our young people. They are learning more to text than interact with each other.
Sorry this got long. I wish there was an easy answer to find friends and deal with anxiety. I haven't found a way myself. And I can entertain myself on the net. I can see how it could be depressing being alone, but also if you find some interests you like, other than on the internet it might help. A lot of people have less friends. It doesn't mean anything bad about you, quite the opposite I think. It means you're careful and don't just trust anyone. I hope today was a bit better, or whenever you read this.
