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Suicide... Solution

#1
I have been a member of this forum since my late middle school days in 2006, and at 33, I'm hanging in ruins, with the reaper traveling at full throttle because suicide is the only way out. After an argument with decades of manipulation and gaslighting from my mother, she has gaslight me again that her blood pressure was 192 to silence me, and all I see is my grave. ⚰️🪦

I hope my days of suffering can finally come to an end, and I'm laid to rest. I made it through bullying in high school but my fiancée died of the COVID plague in October 24th, 2021, exactly 11 years after my step-grandfather died of complications of a heart attack. I never thought I would return here, nearly two decades of suffering later, and I hope that is the last of it, as I'm laid to rest, with the reaper at full throttle with the bottle. I wanted to die of a heart attack when I was most depressed a few years ago, but anything that can lay me to rest is welcome. After all of this manipulation I just want peace, and peace that doesn't come from living.
 

kyupie

Public Access
#2
I'm so sorry for all the loss you've experienced throughout your life. I don't think you realize how strong you are for being able to push through all of the things you have faced, I am proud of you! I truly hope you will find some sort of peace outside of suicide, you're still young and deserve better than this.
 

dosFREAK

Well-Known Member
#3
Thank you... I have You're No Different by Ozzy Osbourne on vinyl as we speak. I've been bawling in tears since the day he died... I just hope I can make the full move to Japan one day; I'm proficient at the language and like Max Payne, I have nothing to lose. My mother and sister making Dallas an impossible proposition to live in. Too horribly hot, and need wine just to get through tonight... I know this may come as weird, but RIP Ozzy 1948-2025. He got me through high school... And anime, too, when nobody else had my back...
 

kyupie

Public Access
#4
I don't find it weird. Whatever you're using to get through your troubles is valid and I'm very happy you have something that brings you such joy! That's what makes life living, after all :) I'm wishing good things your way. :)
 

dosFREAK

Well-Known Member
#5
Thanks...I'm drinking at least a full bottle of wine to get through tonight... My mother really has laid down the manipulation on me, and my narcissistic father has paid prostitutes $500/day, and he has the audacity to bother me when it is convenient for him...
 

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