Venting and reddit thinks i am BRAINROT 😭😭😭

i dont feel like a twink enough.
if i could lose a few more lbs, id feel way less dysphoric.
ive massively internalised that authenticity and creativity is inherently more euphoric and ego-affirming than being a shallow poser.
hence i get so upset by that "this is my art i dont want vague repsonses like you just like the colours"
hence i get so upset whenever i get onto or off a bus way too early
hence i get so upset whenever i have meltdowns in public
i am so upset by bring constsntly misgendered and so upset by how much i care bout it because its embarrassing

being light enough is not just restricted to my weight.
the slower i react
the less i care
the quieter my pain
the more objective i am
the less im in the present moment
the lighter i feel

I am a twink, trust me if you older than 25, you don't to be a twink anymore, just grow up into a man at some point.