Feeling mega awkwrd in public

being in the shop is so painful. I feel SUPER dysphoric whenever i involuntarily skip queues and not say thank you.
i feel like a burden. an idiot. so embarrassed.

even taking up too much space on a bench triggers my dysphoria
the moment a stranger talks to me i am shook for days

i want to be ti dom so badly

i got on the bus. i sat at the back. i noticed that this perso. sat at the back, autistic looking, moved away from me as soon as i sat at the back. it means they are repulsed by me. hence i am not the kind of person i wsnt to be

I try my hardest to dress ANTP 5w7 enough but strangers always view me as opposite of ANTP 5w7 and it makes me suicidal

i want to be oblivious and dreamt so badly

but i am the only one that is so observant of their surroundings

that is extremelt brain dysphoric

one of the things i want done to my brain as part of surgery is reduce responsiveness to external environmsnt

I don't have the right words to say but I see you and it's valid