π€ ππ idk, maybe i'm new here! but i saw this thread and i want to try to answer. i've been spiraling so much in recent weeks that i really felt like your classic matter going down a toilet. much going on and was not at all helped by my sciatica or whatever, that still causes me a bit of trouble, but also seems everything below my waist. hips, knees, left shin, and feet bottoms. i was thinking of knee surgery, but what if my issue is diabetic neuropathy. what if i do the surgery but then they tell me they have to do away with my feet. ok ok, the doctor said that that will not happen. my diabetes is safely under control. but it still hurts to walk and the bottoms of my feet have a strange numb and painful situation going on.
i said i was spiraling. i've been doing a lot of change and when you have no friends who understand or if you feel talking to family is too difficult, and the body pain is just too much... well...
i just spent 11 days in the psych hospital again. me! but i wanted to. i simply needed a rest in a safe space. and i knew i would find i could make the doctors understand that i needed the rest but not meds. i knew i'd discover that finding listening ears in my family do exist. i realized that i am already in a support group and those peeps are indeed my friends.
unfortunately or strangely or ironically the hospital does not always have that much for a psych patient to do except walk the halls. i did. and in those halls i discovered that i can bend my knees. i can stand on my two feet and maybe even discharge the weird sensations in my feet. so i walked with deliberation and as naturally as i can and to my surprise, my walking is improving. and now back home, i'm walking more. i feel as if fear, bad thinking, lonliness, intrusive thoughts and the like kind of froze me into bad habits when it comes to walking so i'm relearning. i'm discovering that healing can come from within. i'm guessing i am new here! and i'm feeling optimistic and more able to face the world in a new way. feeling quite happy in fact!