Ideas & Opinions Are You Depressed or Sad?

This is so nearly triggering. I'm fighting such a monster whatever it is. I have a mind that is too weak to handle the challenges and too bleeping smart to believe that I can't handle it. It's much like walking into fire and saying, I'm ok, I can handle it - thinking I have a well thought out plan. Maybe I do, but it certainly seems like it doesn't work.

my personal opinion yes, I think you are doing a great job getting better but you have a serious mental health issue. you have to do exactly what you're doing. getting professional help/meds getting support from us and fighting hard to get better. you are doing so much better now so keep up the good work and of course if things get bad call a crises line or the hospital. I hope this helps, mike

At the same time as I work on my disorder, illness, possession or whatever, I think I need to look beyond, if for no other reason than to have purpose. Having purpose is so important to me. I believe that I do have purpose, which at least in part is to aid in improving mental healthcare.

I do believe that I am often taken to be a renegade, a troll, a rebel without a cause. Someone who just wants to be contrary all the time just for the sake of it. This is only because observers look at my actions and what I say as what they believe to be already defined and accepted ways of being- that if I appear to be the rebel, that then there is no valid reason behind my actions.

It's kind of like I'm taken to be just bad ornary and loving it.

Desperately, I say, please stop believing that, if you do. It is not the participants here, now. But I do get this kind of response, beginning with my father's statement about me long ago, that I need to be handled with kid gloves. That even goes further.

People really do believe I am a mischief maker with bad intent. I've gotten that all my life. At home, school and work. Don't they understand they are stabbing me in the heart when they say that?

Ok. Triggered. But still rational. I'm going to bed. Happiness does exist. I will try to dream of it.

I hope that I am not isolating myself. You know my pain now and I'm seeking relief. Or do I continue to hide it?

never hide your pain if we can't see the wound we can't help you heal it. you have come a lot further than you think. you have had some help but you've done the work, good job keep it up. mike

Ive read all these posts and thank you ET for a great debate. I’m not clever enough nor in a position today to comment but I am going to re read these all again later. I believe I’m both at the moment and my levels of guilt differ around them. ET you are amazing as are everyone else who has responded. Thoughts / discussions like this is part of why I stay here. I’m not able to participate but in my own way every post helps a bit. Sending you all huge love before I ramble too much xx

WB, don’t sell yourself short. i always feel at least a bit uplifted when you say something. i think its great you are around. you somehow say positivity as a strong undercurrent

Yes Yes

I agree with you. There are some people, no matter what they try, will never achieve what they seek. That has to come from within themselves. As difficult as that may be. I believe sadness and depression are different entities. Sadness is a fleeting moment. Depression is life long. Some can be controlled by therapy and meds. Some can't. Some may be controlled on you own like @extraterrestrialone states. Even though we may suffer the same symptoms. How we individually deal with them are completely different. Thus, the reason for the difficulty treating it. Another thing, it all depends on how good your therapist is. Remember, they are just human with the same problems as you and I. Some just throw out meds and call it a day. Some actually empathize with their patients. Just being snowed by multiple medications doesn't help. Treatment must be done outside the office as well, maybe by changing lifestyles, etc.

Ramble ahead.......I agree with much of what I have read from everyone's posts today. thanks Sunspots, Dodge, Winslow, ET......The complexities are there. There are gaping holes in many areas of the care being given out there in the industry and having to be aware, conscious, attentive in who you choose to engage with is vital as also what you put in your body...sometimes difficult to accomplish...Meds work for some and not for others. Which studies do you believe regarding the effectiveness of the medication that is chosen for you.....
Chemical imbalance is the most used phrase I have heard over the past years. And they are frequently referring to one or two. There's other to look at.... like possibly other hormonal imbalances, largely the pituitary and pineal functioning along with others like estrogens, thyroid, cortisol levels, magnesium imbalances, diet choice, on and on. I use certain kinds of yoga and meditation for the pituitary and pineal activity corrections. It takes consistent practice, like daily.... And not to disregard the impact of what we were exposed to when young. I personally, was never taught life coping skills or given permission to feel my feelings and given the environment to explore those feelings. I entered into adulthood without having emotionally or spiritually matured so to speak. I believe it stunted my perceptions and reactions and decision making abilities back which had effects for years.
To what I have learned, sadness and grief are normal human emotions, reactions. and we have the ability to feel it and go through it, not stuff it and we can coexist with it without it bringing us into depression.
The situational question. Depression was occasional for a few years, I believe it was situational.... until I become seriously ill. Side effects of the disease, having to manage daily care alone, not able to give myself the best supportive care as this was happening, final loss of all family and deaths of my inner circle of support (close friends) during these recent years, loss of ability to work related to not having the energy to do so and loss of outer circle of several acquaintances who didn't care to be around an ill person. So yes, I lost the ability to cope and find "a place" for all that was happening. And unfortunately, some fallout from the sustained loss is that it seems to have changed me in ways which I have to "fix". That is part of what I hope to work on in therapy. I have come to believe that certain meds can help some people. I have opened up to the possibility down the road........

now it does seem as traits of depression and sadness are not simply one or the other or even a combination of the two maybe. it is like there could be a multitude of variations like a full spectrum and an individual might just fall into a location there or who knows mabye even more that one location.

i certainly do not have the things i want in life. i spent a life imagining i was striving for that but accumulated pretty much none but not withstanding do have a home, a home not the one i dreamed of but one i hate, a career, a career i hate because it is wrong for me, and a family that i constantly wish i could have been a much more proactive member of rather than an absentee dad, husband, homeowner and having an erroneous career.

i both have and don’t. i succumb to a mysterious harmful force, then i suddenly surpirse myself and brerak its grip. i hate the state of the world and am doing what i can to contribute to its improvement and like i said, i am or i fear being taken as a scoundral of sorts because i think i’m just hard to define.

it may be my own confusion that has driven me to post this thread. i’m so happy its been recieved the way its being received because just for myself i want to organize this brain and neuroplasticize it a bit and have those things i thought i was striving for in the past.

but mostly i think this could be a positive thing for everyone and now i will try to be a little less me and more everyone full spectrum.

I think it's an excellent thread! Because we all need to question how we think and process thoughts. you're a smart and wonderful person @extraterrestrialone.

ET I’m really proud of you for doing this work and digging in. If you feel triggered just please take care of yourself first. The thread will be here.

I want to echo what Sunspots said, that just because depression is longer term and “chronic” it doesn’t mean nothing can be done. It’s just challenging and takes work, and takes usually a good connection with a good mental health professional who can help you bounce these ideas and come to some clarity.

I think most of us here have depression, to some degree. Suicidality isn’t a natural response to life’s problems and stressors. But still none of us experience it in the same way, or can define it in the same way. Because humans are complicated and we are all a product of so much of what has come before.

Sadness is an emotion, whereas depression is a state. One can concurrently be depressed and sad; the two aren’t mutually exclusive. On that account, sadness is like a symptom of a disease, but in general not necessarily.

Delving further into this thread, I noticed @Sunspots practically said the same thing. Great minds think alike?

i did feel triggered at the time and i did choose to go to bed and have happy dreams. i didn’t actually do that only because of my acid reflux that kept me awake and also diverted me away from being triggered ironically! yay today for acid reflux!!!.

i am coming to think i do have an excellent psychologist/therapist. at first i took it to being in denial about my condition. but i think she is artfully and skillfully diverting me from my nearly obsessive horrors so i can be grounded almost without realizing. i may be very lucky in this respect. and i do have to say how greatful i am for this site because it does - really does provide that essential connection and support that i’ve never felt before.. so collectively i consider it my this year’s christmas present to me and hopefully every year and everyone’s. connection is such a good feeling. i hope i can reciprocate.

I gave up my medication a few days ago as I truly believe that for me I have to fight my issues alone. My doctor albeit lovely wanted to simply ease my pain (at what cost) . But this pain will never go away through medication. So against my doctors strong advice I have chucked copious diazepam propanalol and paroxetine down the loo. So far I have noises in my head , heart thumping, feeling dizzy and the worst nightmares ever. But I am hoping it truly has to be better for me than sometimes not feeling reality. Watch this space

Wow! Things may get tough. Keep us updated!!

Will do .. and I guess I’m very nervous but the medication is changing me and I recognise it in many ways and don’t like it. It’s christmas or nearly Boxing Day here in the uk so to say I’m going cold turkey may raise a smile. Things simply can’t get worse but I feel my health, if I can cope, without the meds must surely get better. That way maybe I can become stronger x

Guess it's your choice. But, tapering down would've avoided the side effects.

I totally agree Wolf and that’s what my doctor said but hey - I’m not myself - I want to be - and no amount of medicine will take my personal pain away. I am most certainly not advocating it for others but now personally I almost need to feel my pain to learn to cope with it. I have to - it will never go - and I dread letting it consume me albeit delayed my meds. I hope that makes sense. I truly truly support medication, therapy etc if that’s what a person needs but just for me I need to remember and find myself xx

I think there can be a middle between feel that you've lost reality and suffering please stay safe maybe as was said you should taper or at least drop one med at a time, i'm sorry winter i'm just worried about your safety. mike