Ideas & Opinions Ever felt like you got no friends?
- Thread starter LukaRedgrave
- Start date
Yeah, i might sound shallow but i remember having constant whatsapp notifications back in the days from people who wanted to talk...nowadays im thinking of deleting the app since nobody's there anymore and i barely use it.
I even downloaded an app to meet people from around the world and learn other languages from them, but even there people dont talk that much and i usually get ignored when im the one who sends a message. It was like my futile attempt to get to know new people with different POV and cultures but it didnt work. As i said i pretty much have nothing interesting to share.
I even downloaded an app to meet people from around the world and learn other languages from them, but even there people dont talk that much and i usually get ignored when im the one who sends a message. It was like my futile attempt to get to know new people with different POV and cultures but it didnt work. As i said i pretty much have nothing interesting to share.
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One of them got "offended" by a comment i made (which was weird cause we made jokes on each other all the time, since we reached that point of a friendship were you can "insult" each other and no one takes it personal) when i wasnt even trying to insult him, and the few messages i sent to him after that were left as "seen" (with the double check) so i stopped texting him. Later i learned he preffered to get into contact with a friend of mine on Facebook before wanting to be in contact again with me first, even when i was "one of the few people he considered an actual friend" (maybe i never was). That's what i meant when i said i dont want to beg for those "friends" attention.
It's hard to know sometimes how much to reach out. Sometimes friendships are one-sided, like it can ebb and flow. But yeah, I'm always paranoid to be the first to make an effort, that I'm bugging people or something. Even though I'm always happy to hear from people, it seems like it won't be the case that people would be happy to hear from me.
I think friends in real life are better than virtual friends. I find it easy to make friends although most of them are shallow friendships. I colllect lanterns and have made a lot of friends in that group of people. We meet for breakfast occasionally and sell or trade stuff. Those are shallow friendships with the lanterns in common. We talk mostly about lanterns and very little about stuff that actually matters. I find that a lot of people think I am an interesting person but I am bipolar and have my problems too. It is hard for most people to get past that; I don't normally share my problems with "friends", I have learned better than that. On thing I have learned as I age is that deeper friendships are made when you edit your comments on yourself, don't share to much, learn what they want and then give it to them. Show interest in them and their problems. Make a steak dinner for them. Let them get to know you slowly, over a long period of time, gradually go deeper, and they will share things with you that they have wanted to talk about for years and never had anyone to talk to.
Truly close friends are hard to come by, and rare. You meet people throughout your life and develop various levels of relationship with them. Those people who you develop that deep friendship with, just don't come along everyday. I had one close friend many years ago, and that fell apart because of a variety of circumstances. We were literally and figuratively moving in different directions in life. We still talk, but not very often and that closeness is long gone. Only in the last few years have again developed a close friend. There are also a few other people I'd turn the world upside for. It's not a wide group, and none of them live within 1000 miles of me, but I wouldn't trade them.
The truth is most relationships are aren't all that deep, and that is just the way the world works. People can only give so much of themselves. They only have so much bandwidth. Even if I wanted to develop a deep relationship with each person I met, it wouldn't be possible. People pick those who they trust, relate with or whatever and they either grow into close friends or they don't. I met my closest friend by yelling at him and essentially verbally vomiting all over him. Years later, here we are.
The truth is most relationships are aren't all that deep, and that is just the way the world works. People can only give so much of themselves. They only have so much bandwidth. Even if I wanted to develop a deep relationship with each person I met, it wouldn't be possible. People pick those who they trust, relate with or whatever and they either grow into close friends or they don't. I met my closest friend by yelling at him and essentially verbally vomiting all over him. Years later, here we are.
