Ideas & Opinions death of a friend

What you've said makes sense.
You're correct in sensing I feel as though I could have helped somehow. I was too involved in my own tiny sphere and missed picking up on the significance of not having heard from him for a long time.

Thank you @SillyOldBear

I'd hope that that isn't the case. I can't imagine that it is. But you are there, and... perhaps you know better, or best? But if it is so, then I think it is completely wrong, or not at all right. Most people probably try to shelter in place, with their emotions & to hide or tuck away, their plans and/or intentions. Especially from those they love, or that are closest to them. Whom might have a vested interest in trying to stop, or twart their progress in this regard. I have had two close people to me, recently, tell me that they've been trying to avoid all contact with others they care about, because they feel that it will (somehow) make it easier (for) when they pass (on). They truly, or firmly, believe that this is so. Try & forgive yourself if you can. Or eventually, and in the end. . .

I should also note: that it is quite natural, I would think, to feel the way you do (or as you do). . .
&, if he were in your shoes, or the situation had somehow been reversed--who knows, if he might
now be doing the same thing as you (questioning, himself?)?

Others have said what I want much better than I have, and you’re probably as knowledgeable about it as I am, but I’ve been talking a lot about survivor’s guilt in therapy.

In case you haven’t, you might want to consider that that’s what you’re feeling. The first step in coming to terms with your feelings is knowing where they come from.

Sorry if this is obvious, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot and you reminded me of it.

I'm sorry you lost a friend. Please understand that it's not your fault. You didn't know and sometimes there's nothing we can do.

I have lost a few friends to suicide. Some on here and some in real life. One was a friend who I was the last person they talked to... It killed me. But I learnt that I couldn't do anything. I still kick myself over it though.

The best thing we can do is just try and talk to friends. Listen and support one another. This place is great for that.

Actually, I hadn't thought of that. It might be what I'm feeling. The waves of emotion hurl up and it seems the frontal lobes freeze in place.

I don't know what to say about it since I just read this, but you've given me a lot to consider.

Thanks Gonz

Thanks Lestat. I will try to talk here and let some other things go. I'm sorry for your loss. You may be right about not being able to help people.

I appreciate everyone's responses very much, I wish I could get that across more eloquently.

I'm sorry about your friend, @seabird. Hugs & love.

I also think that... everyone processes grief, or handles it, in their own way; & on their own timeline / or their own, trajectory (if that's a good word?). In short, or in other words. Their isn't any right, or correct way~ Other than, your own (that you find, for yourself). And whatever is helpful, in this regard. . .

When someone has made up their mind about suicide I don't think we can do much. All reasoning is gone. My friend didn't think about his young children, his partner or friends. I think he only thought about himself. That's ok, but I can't do anything about that.
Suicide is difficult. I'm tried it and when I have I've been extremely selfish.

I'm as sure as it's possible to be that he's home with his dog.

I was able to speak to people about the date of his memorial service. It'll be held in the spring instead of 3 days before Christmas.

Thought of you today - and here is something that helps. Feel like I TALK to you

Feel like I talk to you. This one is nice.


and

I'll give those a listen, thanks @Survivorist

Thinking of you, Seabird. Sending love & blessings.

no one at the beach
her thoughts drift edging closer
peace without a trace

Hugs Seabird