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Im sorry... I cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant function wirhout drinking...
And what a failure and disappointment and shame would i feel if i chicken out...
m too tired, no will to live at all. im done. ive had enough. i hate everything of my life, from the moment i open my eyes to the moment i close them when i go to sleep. im an automa now. im really sick of everything.
I think the only thing I can promise you, is change. Things will change from the current state. They might not work and not be very helpful, then at least you'll have tried, but as telling helps loads of people as well, why not see?
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