Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?
- Thread starter Petal
- Start date
Re: Are you feeling suicidal today?
I think about dying all the time. Some days are worse than others. Today is one of them. My family is not helping at all. I have not told them I have diagnosed with MDD and PTSD. Yet they want me to move in with them because they feel like they have to take care of me because I am the youngest. My oldest sister wants me to move in with her and her family in TN and go to school to be a Rad tech. Mom wants me her and me to move in with my other sister and her family in San Francisco. My brother leaves me alone to make my own decisions which is one of the things I love him for. Every conversation ends up with them trying to convince me to move in with them. I have begun to avoid their calls. I am 36 years old, spent 11 years in the military, was an Air Force cop and Army combat medic, did three tours in Iraq which took its toll, I have a college degree, I am not out in the street, and I work full time and pay my own bills. I may not be at the place I want to be mentally and I may not be where I thought I would be at this point in my life but I do not need to be babied. I am trying very hard to keep reminding myself that they are only doing this because they love me but they have made me mad and they are smothering the life out of me. The only reason I have not jumped off that cliff just yet is because I am supposed to go to CO next month for two weeks of training. I am getting a psychiatric service dog. Right now, that is the only thing keeping me alive but I am more than ready to jump if the need be.
I think about dying all the time. Some days are worse than others. Today is one of them. My family is not helping at all. I have not told them I have diagnosed with MDD and PTSD. Yet they want me to move in with them because they feel like they have to take care of me because I am the youngest. My oldest sister wants me to move in with her and her family in TN and go to school to be a Rad tech. Mom wants me her and me to move in with my other sister and her family in San Francisco. My brother leaves me alone to make my own decisions which is one of the things I love him for. Every conversation ends up with them trying to convince me to move in with them. I have begun to avoid their calls. I am 36 years old, spent 11 years in the military, was an Air Force cop and Army combat medic, did three tours in Iraq which took its toll, I have a college degree, I am not out in the street, and I work full time and pay my own bills. I may not be at the place I want to be mentally and I may not be where I thought I would be at this point in my life but I do not need to be babied. I am trying very hard to keep reminding myself that they are only doing this because they love me but they have made me mad and they are smothering the life out of me. The only reason I have not jumped off that cliff just yet is because I am supposed to go to CO next month for two weeks of training. I am getting a psychiatric service dog. Right now, that is the only thing keeping me alive but I am more than ready to jump if the need be.
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Re: Are you feeling suicidal today?
omphalos :hug:
You're right. They are doing this because they care for you and they love you a lot.
You never mentioned what you want to do? Why haven't you told them your diagnosis? Fear that they'll be babying you even more?
I hope you feel better soon.
Keep talking if its helps :hug:
omphalos :hug:
You're right. They are doing this because they care for you and they love you a lot.
You never mentioned what you want to do? Why haven't you told them your diagnosis? Fear that they'll be babying you even more?
I hope you feel better soon.
Keep talking if its helps :hug:
Re: Are you feeling suicidal today?
I am right now. Extremely badly. I tried reaching out to someone and they told me they never wanted to see me again. I have no friends that I can talk to because all they do is judge me and they judge the person I chose to be with. And I have no family for they do the same thing.
I am right now. Extremely badly. I tried reaching out to someone and they told me they never wanted to see me again. I have no friends that I can talk to because all they do is judge me and they judge the person I chose to be with. And I have no family for they do the same thing.
Re: Are you feeling suicidal today?
Hi Layla and welcome to SF. I'm glad you found us :hug:
I'm sorry you were hurt because you expressed your feelings.
It may not seem like much right now, but you have us and we will try and help you through this. Are you receiving any help for your depression? Medication/therapy?
Hi Layla and welcome to SF. I'm glad you found us :hug:
I'm sorry you were hurt because you expressed your feelings.
It may not seem like much right now, but you have us and we will try and help you through this. Are you receiving any help for your depression? Medication/therapy?
Re: Are you feeling suicidal today?
I don't think self help would work. I have no energy to exercise, or mediate. Please before I start to feel suicidal, while I'm depressed all I can do is eat to try and make myself feel better, and that's a problem. I like to read, but I have no idea how well a self help book would help.
I don't think self help would work. I have no energy to exercise, or mediate. Please before I start to feel suicidal, while I'm depressed all I can do is eat to try and make myself feel better, and that's a problem. I like to read, but I have no idea how well a self help book would help.