Back to rock bottom

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Thanks for reminding me of this @Lifeisthis. I've recently moved and had my meditation mat packed away, so I took it out this morning and have done 10 mins of meditation and I work back up to doing longer sessions again.

That's awesome

Only up from here we got you!

I feel so unhappy and poor me. I miss 'the missing person' that I deeply love so much, trying not to miss them is like trying to hold my breath, where I feel I cannot do this forever and trying to go with the flow feels me with so much emptiness.

Coming up to the weekend again, im feeling anxious about it. Feeling really sad and alone. Had one of the worse dreams i think ive had about my relationship break down this morning. I have these dreams and nightmares every night since feb, im getting really sick and sad of them. My method is sitting in a store cupboard. Think i might take it out as im feeling trapped again.

I'm sorry things are so bad.

Do you feel like this will never change?

hugs @Inastorm It's 10x as hard when anxiety adds its monstrosity to sadness

You can get back up again dont give up we care about you

Righty ho - I'm up and have done a bit of beginners yoga for 10 mins. I weighted myself and I've put on a couple of lbs, so need to be mindful of what I am eating. Feel very very sad and am going to do some DIY in the back room. Been watching the deer sleeping in the back field which was nice to watch. I will do my best today and see how it goes. Just feel incredibly lost and would like my previous person to anchor me.

🦋I’m about to enter into my morning yoga meditation prayer practice and will hold you in it. Eat well 🩵and just do your best today🙏🏽 🌕say hello to the deer for me☺️Why don’t you try to put on some meditative music of some kind.🪷 if you have the time or just have it on around you it helps me a lot

I hope today is a better day for you and the DIY distracts you. ❤️

Thanks for your post and photo, appreciate that.

You bet!

This week has been a right off and a few things have happened but I'm not wanting to go into details really, other than I've been quite upset and really depressed for most of the week. I wrote the poem below, that I'm going to email an some point, but not sure if today is the right moment. Its not completely my own work, a couple of lines or so I took from another poem that I liked and then edited it and reworked.

Poem.

I miss you for too long,
in too many ways,
that it,
the longing has now become another part of me;
engraved deeper with the passing of time and within the space between us....
I go to sleep,
I dream of you,
I wake up,
stretch,
breathe,
and I miss you....
I look at my arm to reset, where this is like a pinching, a jolt, to tell me that I am no longer dreaming of sorts,
should I try and let you go from my mind and spirit,
but wouldn’t that be like holding my breath, I cannot hold it forever....
and I could try and stop missing you,
but then I would stop being myself entirely,
as this is now the only part of you I have left.

Just checking in

That's really nice

I believe in you