Tidbitsitsybityspider
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Continuing my venting, where else and nowhere to go. Per mu PCP and others I should be on aboit six or seven medicines, which is a lot. Today I am finding a middle ground between bentyl, clonazepam, flexiril and oxycodone. Of course did not take them all at the same time. Ch7hhed down some miralax and this time around did not create havoc in my stomach. Am getting tired of diffrrent pains. Was able however to run to me mom's for food she made and picked up her medicine from the pharmacy. Am waiting now for oxycod9ne to kick in. It appears my body is in pretty bad shape with irreversible damage to it so pretty much boils dowm to changing lifestyle habits, physical therapy and praying, meditatiom, reading or playing chess as a distraction. Some "medicines" am not even going to try as I am sure I would end up in ER and after being there over 40 times last year and 4 so far this year I am sick and tired of visiting those places. As a matyerr of fact I am sick and tired of visiting any doctor except physical therapy which is showing tangible results and ladies there seem to know what they are doing with my body. There are couple of other thungs I need to find attention span to research and get to, cupping and massage. Hopefully I will have a happy miment somewhete in between this struggle to do so and then get myself there. Yesterday my PTSD flared up with fears due to not so good results on my legs. That medicine is the one I am not taking and will try to cut down on smoking amd eventually stop it but for right now I am in fuck it mode so am riding combo of meds taken today. tbc
I wish to die. Simple as that. Quality of life is getting low. Getting to sleep and waking up in pain. All the medicines have pros and cons, on one side help with one thing and create issue with another. It'd be really nice to die today; it's a wonderful day so far, streets and air were refreshed by morning rain. Fading away today would be angelic. I will continue doping myself with meds at prescribed times and hopefully heavenly wiseguys will find an opening for me to fit me in or just shut me down.
Full blown goosebumps uneasy anxiety attack this mornjng. Feeling just the same hours before dad would jump off the balcony into his last flight. Pacing the apartmenet frantically until I doped me self with clonazepam. Patch. Called me sis to check they are ok and mom. Morning smells like Sarajevo I used fo love, and that Sarajevo I used to love is no more because of bullets and grabates that destroyed it along with moving most of the people who once lived there. Past haunts me. Day two of reducing oxycodone because it affects my muscles plus consripation. Suffering. Howong, who knows. Wiseguys did not even blink at my request. They instead took Abdulah Sidran, famous poet and scenarist from Bosnia. Lucky bastard.
Just wandering, would you think that reducing your oxycodone could be contributing towards the anxiety and goosebumps that you were experiencing? Possible signs of withdrawal especially if it's a rapid down titration.
Fucking hell, you're really are being put right through the mill atm. If anyone needs a lucky break, it certainly is you.
Fucking hell, you're really are being put right through the mill atm. If anyone needs a lucky break, it certainly is you.
Heya Sir Ash, yes, definitely, because when I was in rehab detox earlier this year, as soon as they got me off of oxy and valium quite speedy like within 5 days I started having these types of feelings. I legit needed oxy at the time because of chronic pain but my psychiatrist wanted me off of valium due to using oxy. So it is a fucking jam in the healthcare system here in the States, supposedly cannot be on both and I do understand should not be. I remember I almost was putting myself in anesthesia sometimes when using Norco and valium within shorter time spans, like within an hour, even though doctor in ER told me I can take them together. I know this is more than you asked, but I have a constant need to let this out and it is frustrating how little healthcare, medical professionals here in the States are messed up at times, at least in my case. Due to PTSD I am not easiest of patients either as everything is magnified by it. I am going down by one milligram daily and want to stick through it then use only when I feel like I need to go to ER due to pain. I love the med, it just has side effects that are not moving me in the right direction at this time.
Hey boss like if you feel the need to vent, then why not let it out here. Just hit that release button. It's part of what this place is here for even though when I did that myself a few weeks back, admin ended up deleting my post. Guess for them it was far easier for a complete erasure rather than a spot of strategic editing. Ah but fuck it anyway lol. Main thing is, if by letting off steam helps, then go for it. You're certainly one person who's earned the right. I mean fuck man, I remenber when it kicked off over there. The reports coming through the media were harrowing enough, but nothing I can imagine to have actually been there in person.
Thing I've noticed with those working in ER, is the extreme measures they use when it comes to drug doses as well as combos. Stuff that in standard practice would make you adopt a wtf moment. But then they are dealing with situations where a sledgehammer to crack the walnut would defo be on the menu.
I can only but imagine how your PTSD amplifies matters and so making you as you call it "not the easiest of patients." But that's something I've noticed with many patients that I've dealt with over the years who themselves have PTSD. A greater recognition that it comes with the territory is maybe required by the healthcare professional perhaps.
Tapering down by 1mg/day seems ok. It might be worth considering incorporating a plateau approach as well - holding yourself at a previous dose for a little bit longer before stepping down in a sequential manner if the newly lowered dose is proving to be a bit uncomfortable. One thing they always say, dependancy can build up rather rapidly, but the development of tolerance can take time. So please go carefully when you get to the stage where you intend to use it for only as required purposes.
Thing I've noticed with those working in ER, is the extreme measures they use when it comes to drug doses as well as combos. Stuff that in standard practice would make you adopt a wtf moment. But then they are dealing with situations where a sledgehammer to crack the walnut would defo be on the menu.
I can only but imagine how your PTSD amplifies matters and so making you as you call it "not the easiest of patients." But that's something I've noticed with many patients that I've dealt with over the years who themselves have PTSD. A greater recognition that it comes with the territory is maybe required by the healthcare professional perhaps.
Tapering down by 1mg/day seems ok. It might be worth considering incorporating a plateau approach as well - holding yourself at a previous dose for a little bit longer before stepping down in a sequential manner if the newly lowered dose is proving to be a bit uncomfortable. One thing they always say, dependancy can build up rather rapidly, but the development of tolerance can take time. So please go carefully when you get to the stage where you intend to use it for only as required purposes.
Thank you for reading and understanding, means alot and I am sorry youndid notbget a chance by admin deleting your post. If you need, vent in my DMs and I will read and respond. I have doube wammy PTSD, from war and the most recebt one from GI bleed and cardiac arrest, the latyer one causing me the most problems.
I like your idea aboit plateu with the dosage in a withdrawal process and am thinkong that I am at the cusp of figuring out if I should holdnit at this new dose for a few more days as while it helpped very little with the pain per se, it did help endure it, so we'll see how it works. My physical therapist told me that the pain is last to go. And yeah, opoates are a kicker after being reintroduced, and thx for reminding me if, hopefully not, time comes I need to take it to be mindful of the dose.
Really appreciate all your good advice
I like your idea aboit plateu with the dosage in a withdrawal process and am thinkong that I am at the cusp of figuring out if I should holdnit at this new dose for a few more days as while it helpped very little with the pain per se, it did help endure it, so we'll see how it works. My physical therapist told me that the pain is last to go. And yeah, opoates are a kicker after being reintroduced, and thx for reminding me if, hopefully not, time comes I need to take it to be mindful of the dose.
Really appreciate all your good advice
Thank you for reading and understanding, means alot and I am sorry youndid notbget a chance by admin deleting your post. If you need, vent in my DMs and I will read and respond. I have doube wammy PTSD, from war and the most recebt one from GI bleed and cardiac arrest, the latyer one causing me the most problems.
I like your idea aboit plateu with the dosage in a withdrawal process and am thinkong that I am at the cusp of figuring out if I should holdnit at this new dose for a few more days as while it helpped very little with the pain per se, it did help endure it, so we'll see how it works. My physical therapist told me that the pain is last to go. And yeah, opoates are a kicker after being reintroduced, and thx for reminding me if, hopefully not, time comes I need to take it to be mindful of the dose.
Really appreciate all your good advice
I like your idea aboit plateu with the dosage in a withdrawal process and am thinkong that I am at the cusp of figuring out if I should holdnit at this new dose for a few more days as while it helpped very little with the pain per se, it did help endure it, so we'll see how it works. My physical therapist told me that the pain is last to go. And yeah, opoates are a kicker after being reintroduced, and thx for reminding me if, hopefully not, time comes I need to take it to be mindful of the dose.
Really appreciate all your good advice
That's ok in fact to tell the truth, I was half expecting some action to be taken by admin regarding that post of mine lol. No big deal, what's done is done, I vented so move on. Thanks for your kind offer for DMs as that is much appreciated and goes without saying, feel free to DM anytime pal.
That suggestion for the tapering down process, that's something that's used at times for patients coming off antidepressants which can prove effective. So therefore it could be worth extrapolating it to this scenario. Main thing of course is that this pain management is still offering some quarter of relief.