post your major complaint here
- Thread starter 1964dodge
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My major complaint is that I am still alive. I want to leave this life and world so very badly. I am tired of pain, of being able to do less and less as I age, watching people older than me go through the hell of aging, financial issues, you gotta have money in this world. A world where solving one problem only leads to a dozen more.
I am tired of this world. A world where a man will kill his three young daughters, a world where a flash flood kills 68 and leaves dozens still missing, many of them children. A world where leaders believe they have the right to attack other countries and slaughter its citizens. A world of poverty and hunger, drug abuse and homelessness. A world full of so much pain and loss it can't be kept track of. A world filled with lies. A world where you do not know who you can trust.
Rarely a day goes by in the area where I live where there is not a shooting, or a robbery. A world where I am totally unable to make a substantial difference. I keep praying for death, but it doesn't come. Someday it will. And I will rejoice.
I am tired of this world. A world where a man will kill his three young daughters, a world where a flash flood kills 68 and leaves dozens still missing, many of them children. A world where leaders believe they have the right to attack other countries and slaughter its citizens. A world of poverty and hunger, drug abuse and homelessness. A world full of so much pain and loss it can't be kept track of. A world filled with lies. A world where you do not know who you can trust.
Rarely a day goes by in the area where I live where there is not a shooting, or a robbery. A world where I am totally unable to make a substantial difference. I keep praying for death, but it doesn't come. Someday it will. And I will rejoice.
I actually agree with a lot of what you said. I struggle with my hatred of people and this world sometimes. It pains me watching people choose the dumbest action over and over, of a society where one half spends all their time scamming or robbing the other half so neither have enough. A society where hate and suspicion are the norm. But when I find something or someone worth protecting I will do it with all I have because they are all the more precious in context, and when I don't I hold onto my life and my agency until I do. The longest stretch I spent in real pain was about 2ish years so Im not sure how it will eat at you over the real long term, but anyone can make a difference. It is because this world is so miserable that even the tiniest glimmer of human fucking decency can give someone the hope and strength to push onwards to something brighter and better for themselves. One kind word, one smile, one generous act of decency can make a huge difference, so you will never be completely incapable of making a substantial difference.
I try to avoid the news, but to no avail. Just the weather network yesterday told me of the floods killing young people, seeing their cars floating... This really has gotten worse than better to live. I wonder what I'm going to do when my money runs out. Rooms are over 1000 dollars and up to rent. My apartment costs are not even a half of my expenses for everything. What I get is the bare minimum, I could just make it work before with renting a room. I don't eat much. I had his free wifi. I don't think I'd be ok without the internet to just reach out here.
And you're right, the wars, the poverty, the homeless drug addicts (but i'm sure most of them didn't ask for their lives to be that way). The more I watch the worse I feel so I don't have a tv. I just watch youtube and come here. Facebook, is just a highlight reel and it sickens me. I don't need to see every picture of your vacations, food you just ate 5 minutes ago, your dead loved ones milestone in heaven.. I'd say, saying who died once is enough, I don't like the ''happy birthday in heaven'' posts, I have only people I know or family I met or haven't in the Netherlands on there. I just go on there briefly to see if any family has any troubles. I get it. I'm not as old as you but I'm tired of this world too.
And you're right, the wars, the poverty, the homeless drug addicts (but i'm sure most of them didn't ask for their lives to be that way). The more I watch the worse I feel so I don't have a tv. I just watch youtube and come here. Facebook, is just a highlight reel and it sickens me. I don't need to see every picture of your vacations, food you just ate 5 minutes ago, your dead loved ones milestone in heaven.. I'd say, saying who died once is enough, I don't like the ''happy birthday in heaven'' posts, I have only people I know or family I met or haven't in the Netherlands on there. I just go on there briefly to see if any family has any troubles. I get it. I'm not as old as you but I'm tired of this world too.
I did not realize your finances were so tight. That makes everything so much harder. Especially when you are trying to help family. There is an 80 year old lady in my church. She has the biggest heart and so little money. But all her family takes advantage of her. Her younger sister is a drug addict. Was living in a trailer in my friends yard. Government said trailer had to go so she now lives in a tent in friends yard. Another relative lives in a shed in the yard. She can't lock her house because relatives need her bathroom. They use it and they steal from her. But she won't kick them out as the will have no other place to go. So many are in horrible situations.
Rents here are also insane. Over $2000 a month for a small two bedroom. Do rent both a room and an apartment. I am somewhat confused on that. But it does sound like its past time to say NO to most of your family. I know that is easier said than done. But they really need to learn to stand on their own two feet. And you need to have some comforts in your life.
Rents here are also insane. Over $2000 a month for a small two bedroom. Do rent both a room and an apartment. I am somewhat confused on that. But it does sound like its past time to say NO to most of your family. I know that is easier said than done. But they really need to learn to stand on their own two feet. And you need to have some comforts in your life.
I have a one bedroom, since october. Before that I rented rooms. I got kicked out for the truth that his gf was going through my things in my room. Here, I was using the couch. Rent for a 2 bedroom here is also over 2 grand a month.
I did kick my younger son out, he'll be 25 later this year. I vented a little to my sister in law this morning. She says, but he's an adult. He is, but has no place to live or sleep. He's had a long time to find a job, any job. He wont help pay for his own food, clothes or anything. I think I've been generous for long enough. He also steals.
I haven't told him anything about my health, other than ''im sick''.... it's good I got him out even though he complains he's cold. It's not cold out here at night now. And if he seriously wants help, there are shelters in the city, there is a hospital since he threatens suicide. I've learned it's all manipulation, not that he doesn't have things to be depressed about. I wanted to leave home and work. I don't like telling him, but would hope he understands, you have to work in life. My parents would never let me do what I let him do to me. I worked, whatever shifts whatever jobs. I don't understand, other than everything practially was provided by me.
So I did the right thing. He has to learn to stand on his own feet. I've said sometimes ''well who's going to help you if im not here anymore?'' no answer. He's got to be ok now. My older is able to support himself. I love them both but they are different. I've given both help for various things.
The story about the 80 year old in your church is sad. But I've done this myself, tried everything to help. My sons are both addicted to cannabis, and I'm not sure if there's more I don't know of. My generousity ends today. I found out I have possible malignant cancer and I have to look after myself now. Thank you for writing about this. It's taken getting sick myself, to realize I need to take care of me and not do everything for them. You're kind. I appreciate you. This got long, hope you don't mind.
I did kick my younger son out, he'll be 25 later this year. I vented a little to my sister in law this morning. She says, but he's an adult. He is, but has no place to live or sleep. He's had a long time to find a job, any job. He wont help pay for his own food, clothes or anything. I think I've been generous for long enough. He also steals.
I haven't told him anything about my health, other than ''im sick''.... it's good I got him out even though he complains he's cold. It's not cold out here at night now. And if he seriously wants help, there are shelters in the city, there is a hospital since he threatens suicide. I've learned it's all manipulation, not that he doesn't have things to be depressed about. I wanted to leave home and work. I don't like telling him, but would hope he understands, you have to work in life. My parents would never let me do what I let him do to me. I worked, whatever shifts whatever jobs. I don't understand, other than everything practially was provided by me.
So I did the right thing. He has to learn to stand on his own feet. I've said sometimes ''well who's going to help you if im not here anymore?'' no answer. He's got to be ok now. My older is able to support himself. I love them both but they are different. I've given both help for various things.
The story about the 80 year old in your church is sad. But I've done this myself, tried everything to help. My sons are both addicted to cannabis, and I'm not sure if there's more I don't know of. My generousity ends today. I found out I have possible malignant cancer and I have to look after myself now. Thank you for writing about this. It's taken getting sick myself, to realize I need to take care of me and not do everything for them. You're kind. I appreciate you. This got long, hope you don't mind.
Congratulation! You did the right thing. A very hard thing to do; but right. A very wise man once shared with me how he and his wife succeeded in a 70 year marriage (only ended by death), and the raising of a family. Put God first, then yourselves, then the kids. Not the normal way of doing things. We are taught the kids come first. But if we don't take care of ourselves, we will not be able to care for the kids.
Social media is a cesspool. I'm seeing tons of gross antisemitism just because there's a picture circulating of a little boy, who happens to be wearing a yarmulke, with a big water jug filled with Slurpee at a bring your own cup day at 7-Eleven. People are being weird. The whole point of the bring your own cup day is that people bring outrageously large containers, and the goofy pictures are free publicity for 7-Eleven. You can look around online and find all sorts of different types of people getting Slurpees in kiddie pools and other things much more ridiculous than a water jug. Some of the people on these websites can turn anything into an excuse to be hateful.