Were you bullied?

It's not a competition.
I was alone at one point, not bullied, and it hurt so much.
Your experiences are valid no matter what anyone else experienced.
Your pain hurts even if you them.
Sending love

Sending love

My story is I was bullied heavily especially in middle school/high school years, as well as at home from my father. My primary antagonist in school was one kid, the ring leader of the bullies, and also the popular kid who everyone adored.

I was his mental punching bag, on the bus, everyday to and from school. There were other bullies too, but like I said, he was the 'head' bully who no one would/could challenge, because everyone liked him including the adults. We physically were about the same size, but I knew if I started any kind of fight and my dad knew about it, I would get consequences from him too. This person and his bully crew of about 3 or 4 other kids would completely annihilate any self esteem I had that lasted into adulthood for many years.

No one who could do anything cared. The counselors hands were tied, the bus company/driver did nothing, the parents certainly didn't give a shit, and if there's a fight, like I said both people would have consequences, regardless of who started it and why. You just had to sit there and take it. Then one day as seniors, he passed away in a car crash ironically not that far from where I lived. Everyday, on the way to school I drove by the tree he hit that was full of memorials saying how awesome he was, and memorials at school along with a mandatory prep rally completely devoted to his passing. I cut school that day. I still consider to this day, had I been the one who died, no one would have cared as much as they did for him, or even knew who I was.

Some time later, lightning struck the tree during a storm, still with memorials on it, and left a burnt stump. You can imagine how I felt about this. I don't take joy in other's death or tragedy, but what the hell am I supposed to think from that? I've seen how some of my other bullies ended up later in life too. One, who somehow ended up working at the same place my mother did, was fired for stealing someone's boots and throwing them in the garbage as a joke. Others, basically just grew up to be screw ups who never did anything positive, or ended up in jail. Things considered, it's not like my life exactly ended up being happy either.

Why do I think my primary bully did what he did to me? Honestly, I think the #1 reason was he viewed me as a threat, or maybe I was just an easy target. Some bullies do what they do because they have other problems in their life, but this kid seemingly had it all, so why would he need to do that? And how did it affect me long term? Well, most of it's in the past now, as I don't really get the bully ptsd that had for awhile anymore, and I would forgive this person today if they told me they were sorry. Unfortunately, I don't worry so much about that time anymore because I have much bigger worries now as I did back then. It was just another brick in the wall that took it's toll.

Well, it felt good getting this off my chest and revisiting some of those times. I'm glad this thread was here to vent, and I'm sorry to all the others who've dealt with the 'bullies' in their lives too.

Yes, I was bullied. I spent the majority of my teenage years trying to be invisible. I can remember walking past a bench in school where a group from my class would sit at lunch and being jeered at. I would wonder the school grounds on my own and eventually found a safe hiding place in the drama hall in the dark. I always felt different, like I didn’t belong. I could always see my peers looking at me and thinking what I had just said was weird. This line of thinking has continued for the rest of my life. I never felt accepted or that I fitted in. I suppose it made me the perfect target for being bullied. It wasn’t necessarily by just one person, it was the way I was treated by everyone.

Yes bullied (physical and verbal) quite extensively in secondary school (Combined middle school & high school in my country) for being clumsy and strange.
It caused my confidence to collapsed and it's never fully recovered.
I think that it stunted my development development in my teenage years and that saddens me a lot but I don't have a time machine.

Such sad stories. A big, huge hug for everyone who was bullied I have dreamed about it - and would like to never dream about it again. 4th to 7th grade was hellish for me, except for my best friend. I'm so glad I had her. Thank goodness high school was better for me.

Remember this - you did not deserve to be bullied. Nobody does.

Obviously many, many people are bullied and it's just not okay. I'm glad it's finally taken seriously though.

Yes. I was a target because they think I am not a part of anything.

I was bullied by the group of cool people because I didn't fit in with them & I made fun of them. I'm very good at caricatures lol. I was bullied by the not cool people group, too; who said I looked too much like the nasty cool people.

Yes
I also ended up becoming a bully myself
I'm not making any excuses
But I had extremely low selfworth and had an obsession with fitting in and appearing "cool"
My big brother was a "cool guy" that I looked up to a lot
I guess he sort of became my father figure, since my dad abandoned me
Ofc it's not his fault, but I tried to emulate him a lot
I wish I could go back and relive those years, but you can't
It brought me nothing but misery
I was a terrible person for a long time
Like really

When I became 18/19 years old, it started to haunt me a lot, how I had treated some people
I'm happy it did btw

But there's a lot of truth to the quote that says "hurt people, hurt people"
Not that it justifies it

I was bullied for a long time in my life, because I am and was different (verbally, physically). Today I believe it has something to do with the aura we all have. Some people (like me) are just giving all signs that we are somehow weak, can be hurt, are sensible etc. Other people just "smell" this.

Funny is, when I started Judo and got good at it - everything changed to the opposite. I was never bullied, attacked or insulted again.

Maybe at that age in the school enviroment
Kids can be cruel
But not caring about how others perceive you, and just being you, is the real strength

For whatever reason, I was always a bully to bullies when in K-8 grades. In 9th grade I was outsized in high school to the bigger bullies though.

I wouldn't say that I got my ass kicked every day in school because I had some great friends in school but it happened a few times:

- I was always shy and quiet, just because I never feel like talking to much because it exhausts me, and one time in the 3rd grade a boy called me "the most uncool person in the class" and he was trying to speak English to me (English isn't our first language, and in the 3rd grade we're still learning the basic things) because he thought I wouldn't understand it, because he thought I was "uncool". Huh.

- I was always friends with the kid(s) that everyone bullied so people thought I was weird too, but I don't care because my bullied friends were actually nice and funny!

- I took an English summer course abroad and actually got bullied by a 17 year old European boy. I was 20/21 but he looked much older, and I look younger, so he probably thought that I was younger and maybe he thought it was okay to bully me. My feeling says that he picked on me because I always answered the questions given by the teacher in the class, because he always gave me these evil looks every time I answered the questions. So stupid. I didn't take it seriously because he was a kid and I would never see him again ever though. I'm sure he'll get his karma lol.

Do you think it would be possible to find those people and apologize? Would you want to?

I have thought about it
I've almost haven't been on social media since like 2013
Only know these people by first name basis at this point, so would not be an easy task to even locate them
Also it's like 20 years ago
My social anxiety doesn't make it any easier
Kind of why I'm not on social media eitther
But you're not wrong.

I do agree and believe as you do about the aura and the sense of don't bother that people can sense or smell in others. I was never bullied in high schooleven though I was a walking epitome of Revenge of the Nerds, but I was always soft spoken, polite and of good humor, helpful to others if I could, but they also sensed doom to whoever it was in me if I was pushed too much. They got a let's move along vibe from me and years later I was involved in two incidences which proved them correct. When I attended my 40th HS reunion two years ago a couple of the people from my class said I reminded them of Rorschach from the movie Watchmen.

I hope you'll try. A sincere apology and an explanation for your behavior could go a long way, both for them and for you.

I was not only bullied all my life but also beaten by parents and not taken seriously by teachers, I was what you call a “nerd” I was or still am very interested in computers and people there teased me a lot because of that I am depressed, suicidal and self-harm

you should never have to be bullied or mistreated, i hope you can find some peace , love, and understanding here.

mike.....