Is it?

I called the SARC this morning and went in to have samples taken. It was awful, it felt humiliating and inhuman even though they did their best to make it not so. I'm not reporting it to the police - how would I explain what I did to my family?
But they'll keep the samples on file for two years. He's a friend of a friend who we all went out with so I will probably hear if anyone else makes allegations. If that happens I'll come forward.
No, I can't tell anyone about this. It's just too humiliating

I'm sorry it was such an awful, and humiliating experience for you @Sunspots - this will help provide evidence, for verifiable proof, in the event it is needed in the future. And is better for making your case, than relying on your word alone (against his). The other thing they may focus on, is whether or not, or to what extent: "consent," was (or was not) given. . . if I had to guess? / certainly don't know, though~

I wish that you didn't have to feel this way - all the same - for it was He, & not You, who were in error here. He is the one who is responsible for his actions of that evening. And you don't have anything to feel ashamed of or regretful about. You placed your trust in someone and they broke it. Simple as that. No wrongdoing at all or whatsoever on your end, in my estimation!

I understand the feeling that your feeling though... Or at least I think I can if I try hard enough to imagine what it might be like to suffer through that type of an atrocity committed unto me.

I hope that the fact of taking action, and SARC keeping data on him, can give you some closure. I'm glad you did that, and sorry it was further traumatic/humiliating. We care very much for you @Sunspots . Get rest and please be as gentle on yourself as you can. I hope you feel safe, and that you've blocked the person who did this to you.

I am glad that you made the call so that there is a record of something now and for in case of the future and anything else to yourself or anybody else.

I'm so sorry to hear what happened @Sunspots. I can't say anything for definite that it's this or that, I've been in a few situations years ago so only that I know the uncertainty and the questioning you must have about yourself. I think you did the right thing and that there is evidence on file.

The police phoned me yesterday. And a social worker. I thought the SARC was confidential, nobody asked for my permission to share information. I'm so pissed off, I didn't want this.

Today I've had a phonecall from the sexual health centre at the hospital. They want me to go in for screening. I really don't want to, I've been mithered enough, but I know I have to do it.

if you want the social worker and police to leave you alone then please tell them, @Sunspots . So you can be sure they get the message, put it in writing that you want no more contact from them.

The screening people will probably not make a fuss. If you wnt them to not share the information about your results, may be tell them ahead of time?

Um, I don't really have an opinion but this happened to me too. I'm also having complicated feelings about it now that I see it from the perspective of it happening to someone else. Only difference is we were both guys, and I was pretty into the heat of the moment so when he wanted to go raw I didn't fight it in any way. But I did ask him to put on a condom, twice. And I provided condoms. I got HPV that nearly turned into cancer. So that was fun. I will spare y'all the gory details, but suffice to say that there are gory details.

God this makes me angry, and sad. Both for you and anyone else it's happened to. I see now why rapes go unreported. Hell I didn't think there was anything to report at the time, but even if I did, I probably would not want to spend the energy and time it would take to deal with the cops and medical, etc. So I totally see where you are coming from @Sunspots. I wish you strength in whatever you decide. It's incredibly courageous to do what you have already done so far. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, like really crying right now.

It's very strange that I've accidentally found this thread today after hearing from you regarding this only yesterday. I'm glad I didn't just read it out of nowhere. Gosh, I'm so sorry for what you've been through with this. You know that none of that is your fault. You wouldn't read anything you'd written here that had someone else's name at the top and think 'yeah, she was stupid for going to that room' now would you? You deserve to have relationships with others. You're a grown woman with needs and wants who shouldn't have to fend off disgusting animals for acting on it.

Tell them all to Fuck, THE FUCK. off! ...(fine, & thank-you, very much!)! Geesh.?!!!?.

Thank you everyone
I'm doing ok. Very anxious about the STI testing. I've got another two weeks before we can do the tests as the HIV test needs to be four weeks from exposure.
I saw my psychologist yesterday. It turns out she already knew as the SARC unit had done a safeguarding report which goes to the police, social workers and onto my medical records. In a way it was easier as I didn't have to bring it up myself. She very kindly extended our appointment and I'm going to see her weekly rather than every two weeks for the time being. She wants to wait until we've got the results back from the tests and then do some EMDR.

The tests have all come back clear thankfully.

Great news

That's fantastic news @Sunspots .

I'm sure you must know somewhere in year head that it should all be okay but is also a huge relief to have that on paper (or not paper, as the case may be)

It is. I feel like I can start to move on from this now.

I really hope it's all in the rear view mirror now. You know where to find me (or Lu) any time, any day. We're always here.

i'm so happy for you

mike....