Terrified of parents dying.

Update, I would rate my suicidality as a 10 today, I have spent all day in bed hysterically crying and completely forgot it's my parents anniversary they have clearly had a lovely day my dad is getting old and forgetting things now and I just feel like such a crap daughter I'm so terrified of the future I have no one to talk to I thought about calling the crisis team but they will just change my medication or something I tried to have a bath and calm down but it's just come upon me suddenly I can't stand the thought of being trapped here for another 40 years and not being able to commit suicide I have made several attempts but the voices in my head told me not to do it as it would be bad karma in the next life I am really panicking and crying all day please someone help me x

I'm sorry things are so bad Empress. I'd like to help if I can. Do you want to say what things would be most helpful, or do you want to identify any kind of help you don't want?

Sending hugs

Thanks @may71 I think it's because I don't really have anyone. I am turning 40 tomorrow and have no partner, children or friends left after 10 years of mental health struggles I just feel so alone all the time there is only really my parents and brother and soon they will be gone too x

Same. I live on my own so I'm somewhat independent and there are other family members to share the burden but my dad nearly died a few years ago and my mum has health problems. I kinda have anxiety every time I log into my messaging app each day wondering if I'm going to receive that "dreaded news".

Things may be bad right now, but that doesn't mean that things can't change.

Like you said, the crisis team would probably only change your meds, but a med change is not necessarily a bad thing.

There are also some other treatment methods that you could try. I can say more about that if you're interested.

It's usually easier to meet people when your physical and mental health are good. There can be a positive "snowball effect" if you can either your personal relationships or your mental health to improve.

Thanks for your message @may71 things are okay at the moment I guess it's more just fear of the future it looks awfully bleak I'm just taking a day at a time, my birthday was great, I feel guilty having all these negative thoughts but it's just an objective view of the situation really x

Your situation is difficult because you feel alone and because you're struggling with mental illness. To think that things can't or won't get better is not an objective view though.

Hugs

Don't give up we really care about you

Thank-you @Lifeisthis x

Anytime Empress

Recently got sick (flu) and then a couple of months later (this week) have had bad insomnia and migraine and my parents were really great both times, collecting a prescription for me and picking up some food for me. It's left me terrified that when they go there will just be no one looking out for me and I barely cope on my own as it is, feeling lonely all the time as I live alone. Anyone have any tips for the future? x

You'll learn like i had to that even if b you get the flu you'll make it though it. We beleive in you and here for you.