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can’t let go

Gonz

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#21
#21
may71 said:
My impression is that opioid addiction is on another level among addictive substances. While I think everyone has some risk of becoming an addict, for some people addiction is much more intense. I've heard of people engaging in insane levels of self injury in order to get prescribed opioids. I'm not sure it's even possible for some people to quit once they're hooked.

Nothing to be sorry about. You're just expressing how you feel.

Imho, the anger that you have would be better directed at the pharmaceutical industry that was pushing drugs that they knew were addictive in order to maximize profits. The PBS documentary "Opioids, Inc." gives you an idea of what complete bastards they were (and are).
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Oh yeah. I mean, I don’t think violence is ever something to be celebrated, but I have to admit that the sight of the Sackler’s heads on spikes would be… satisfying.

Including Jessica, I’ve known six people who’ve died from opiate overdoses. Her, her mom, my cousin, and three childhood friends. That’s too fucking many. One is too fucking many.
 
Gonz

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#23
#23
Today was rough, a lot to deal with, anxiety got the better of me and I had my second panic attack in as many days (god, they are a fucking nightmare). But what makes it even worse is that my first instinct when I’m having trouble is still to go to her. I mean right now all I want is to give her a hug and tell her about my shitty day, and I literally don’t know how else to calm myself.
 
1Lefty

1Lefty

SF Supporter
#24
#24
Gonz said:
Today was rough, a lot to deal with, anxiety got the better of me and I had my second panic attack in as many days (god, they are a fucking nightmare). But what makes it even worse is that my first instinct when I’m having trouble is still to go to her. I mean right now all I want is to give her a hug and tell her about my shitty day, and I literally don’t know how else to calm myself.
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I hear you, man

my inbox is open

peace
 
Freya

Freya

Loves SF
Admin
SF Author
SF Supporter
#28
#28
I think crying is probably the only response here that's healthy. That grief has to go somewhere and crying is better than a lot of the other options.

I'm really sorry that you've had SO much grief piled on you. It's been pretty freaking relentless and you really really deserve a break!

As per usual I don't know what to say, except I can only imagine - and even then I can't really imagine. I'd delete this nonsense if it weren't for the fact that I need you to know you are cared for here.
 
Gonz

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#33
#33
I’ve been trying for years to make people understand how much I miss Jessica, but they either get it or they don’t (not that I don’t appreciate well-wishes from people who haven’t been through it themselves yet).

Point is, I’m going to keep trying because I can’t help myself.

People often refer to their spouse as their “better half.” I get that; I mean how the saying started not just how a lot of people use it thoughtlessly. We really were two parts of one person.

When she died, so did the better part of me.
 
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Gonz

Gonz

₲‹›Ŋʑ
#34
#34
Today, my mother, my sister and her family, and myself went out to my father's grave for father’s day.

It’s easier to worry about my mother than to confront my own feelings.

A whole bunch of really shitty things had to happen for it to be the case, but ultimately I think she’s lucky to have two kids who’ve already been though what she’s going through (my sister’s first husband also passed away long before his time).

I mean, she’s the first of her friends to go through this, so I’m glad she has people to talk to, even if it’s hard.
 
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