Empathy Only Jealous of kids

Then why tell them at all?

I usually don't but sometimes they ask specific questions, assuming you have had these experiences. For instance, on the registration form it asks if sex hurts. It's electronic. The answers are yes or no. I cant skip it, I usually just hit something but its triggering and sends me through rejections and humiliating moments in my life. I have chronic pelvic pain for which I've never found help.

I hope you find something that helps. I wonder if it's possible you were abused at some point and have blocked out the memory.

Despite what I said earlier about how the Christian Bible can cause me suicidal thoughts, I still credit it with helping me. So you could say it's a love-hate relationship--in other words, ambivalence. Ambivalence and Confusion too, about God. That's why I usually don't like to even think about God, because I cannot figure out how a God who is both Loving and All-powerful can allow suffering. And that's Counterproductive against me because it prevents me from looking for constructive solutions. And the constructive solution for my emotional problems was found in Buddhism because the whole purpose of Buddhism centers on emotion-control, which is why Buddhism is often called the practical religion.
So when the Buddhist Dalai Lama was asked if he believes in God, he answered,"It's Not important whether there is a God or not. Instead, what's important is how we treat our fellow men."

Please don't bring up religion. I know you mean well.bur it's a trigger. I think it's one of the rules if the forum I don't intend any illl will, but I can't even finish reading this message. I'm sorry.

Not physically. Emotionally, yes.

During a physical, my doctor asked me "How's your sex life?" one time. I was taken aback and somehow my subconscious must have answered on autopilot, because I instantly responded with something like "Copacetic!" Maybe he wanted some sort of feedback based on my reaction. In any case, that's one scenario.

Thanks for teaching me a new word

Although I think that copacetic is not as good as peachy-keen.

Or even hunky-dory... which I hope y'all and yours truly will one day (today?) be able to use when referring to ourselves! One can hope and work towards that, at least.

I went to the doctor today and she found out about my no experience issue. I'm being treated for a sexual health issue related to menopause. I had a breakdown. I am not normal. They don't ask if you've had sex. They assume and go with that. It doesn't even cross their minds that some people never have. I might just stop going to doctors. Even with insurance, it's expensive. Some things aren't covered. I can't afford this stuff. It is just me. Alone. I want to die. Should you choose to comment, it's empathy only. I just had to stop myself from saying what id like to do because I'll get kicked off. Do NOT tell me there is still a chance to meet someone, it's not that big of a deal, you can be happy alone. F*** it all.

i'm sorry that things are so bad right now. and sometimes medical expenses can be very high, even with insurance. i hope things work out for you soon.

mike....

@Leesa

I'm sorry about your recent doctor visit. I agree, health insurance is a joke in this country.

I posted this over 3 years ago. At this very moment, a girl who has always referred to me as her 'aunt' (brother's niece) is celebrating her wedding. She was married a few hours ago and the reception is happening as I type. Her mom is my age and I remember her being pregnant with her. She is now 26, has a better salary than I do, and has found love. ( They've been together 6 years.) I just spend time in therapy and watch my life deteriorate. Reminder this is an empathy thread. I do not want advice, nor false hope. I just wish I was not here.

It's been 3 1/2 years since I posted on here. I was sad because I know I'm not normal. The last wedding I went to was in 2000 and I made a promise to myself that I would never go to another wedding. (During the ceremony the pastor said everyone meets someone and it made me feel worthless.)

I regret I wasn't able to be there for him, but I do not regret not going to the ceremony. I also couldn't afford it. My mom also has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, was just starting treatment and Covid was raging. In those respects, I got out of it. He now makes a far better living than I do and my job has just been cut.

Fast forward and my niece just got engaged last weekend..(24.) Also a better economic situation. I was worrying about bills when I got a text of her engagement ring.

I don't want them to struggle. But I should not be in this position. Mind you, I am no longer interested in meeting someone. I am interested in dying. The pain and the struggles are too much and not worth it.

@Leesa

I hate weddings as well. I didn't even want to have one when I got married (this was 20 years ago, we've been divorced 12), but I suffered one for her sake.

One of my best friends recently got engaged. He's like a brother to me and I love him, but I am not going to the wedding. I didn't go to his first one either. Truth be told, I met his fiancee and I honestly don't like her. I'd still not attend even if I did, but her abrasiveness makes the decision that much easier.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Just wanted to commiserate and say you're not alone.

IMO, marriage is an outdated, unnecessary institution that grew out of tribalism, the engineering of familial/political alliances and above all, MONEY.

Now I'm going to be 55. Niece is getting married and moving away. FYI that I am no longer interested in meeting someone. But, that doesn't negate my anger and sadness that I never had the experience. It's not that I never got married, it's that nothing ever happened and I feel less than.

@Leesa I'm sending empathy and understanding. Sorry for your sadness.

I had a 10 yr. relationship, a marriage of sorts, and it made me a worse person than before. I am trying to not become bitter, but cynicism and shame creep in sometimes. Mostly, I'm depressed.