Practical Advice The thoughts are back

Have you told a doctor about the nightmares? There might be some kinds of antidepressants that could help. There's also a blood pressure medication called prazosin that has an off-label use in treating nightmares, but many doctors won't prescribe it because that use is off-label.

The long acupressure self-massage in the link below may be helpful, though it's not specifically geared toward treating nightmares.

https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...-insomnia-and-anxiety-updated-5-12-17.133822/

Traditional Chinese medicine could help. Whenever I've had disturbing dreams, an acupuncture treatment clears them up right away. I can't guarantee the same results for everyone though. More info in the link below.

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

One of my books on Chinese medicine mentions some foods that are supposed to be mentally calming. Rice and rosemary are two of them. Putting rosemary essential oil in a diffuser, or possibly putting some on your pillow might also be worth a try.

Soaking your feet in Epsom salts and warm water before bed might help with sleep in general.

I thank you for the good info. @may71 .

I have a book (it is in storage atm) on Shiatsu accupressure therapy. The link you provided is appreciated & I'll check it out.

A psych doc recommended that blood pressure med but we decided against it because 1. I strongly prefer natural means to ends, & 2. I have kind of low to normal b p and sometimes get light headed. (I'm on the slim side & sort of tall).

Putting some rosemary into the diffuser at bedtime I can right away, as well as the epsom salts footbath.
thanks again

Is it possible I'm carrying too much of this. Yes

What do you mean?

@may71 I am beginning to understand I have been carrying a heavy loss to maintain a relationship.

So you mean you think it's more trouble than it's worth?

You're welcome to say why if you'd like to.

I'm not sure if it would help with the nightmares, but there are some dietary changes that might help with anxiety.

Not consuming anything served raw or cold, and trying to eat primarily freshly cooked foods was very helpful for me. This is part of traditional Chinese dietary therapy. There are more details to traditional Chinese dietary therapy, but those are the basics.

This feels like a good approach especially now, as my anxiety has been spiking way up lately.

(due to upcoming challenges that are going to no that are already punishing me)

What point did they start coming back. Something would of started it up again.
The thing is though you started to listen to them again, and this is the trouble, it's familiar ground and ground everybody fears. But it is this fear that fuels the fire.
And nobody you tell will ever understand it, that's why most of the replies you get from people is to just pull yourself together or in your case, 'don't be silly'

Yet you say it is all your fault, who says it is all your fault? Only you are telling yourself it is all of your fault. And people being people will happily let you believe it is all of your fault cuz they are so perfect it can never be them, plus they want an easy ride in there own lives. Total selfishness really, but they don't get away with it forever!

Giving these thoughts attention is just going to give you a period of time in front of you where you'll feel stressed all the time.

Do whatever you need to do, you can untrap yourself at any point in life. Go back to where you didn't feel trapped in your past, if that means losing friends and family then so be it.

It's your life, not there's. Nobody owns anybody, and if people are making you think it is all your fault then to be quite honest you don't want them sort of people in your life!

Take care!

You're welcome to talk about that, but only if you'd like to.

A decrepit little place with a house which may be falling down around me while I get swallowed by depression. Thought I'd escaped.

You are facing some challenges that'll be happening on several levels at once, try not to jump onto all the different levels simultaneously.

Stay on the top level, cross it off and step down to the next level once sorted.

Otherwise you'll find the overwhelming feelings will keep you rooted to the bottom of the pit.

Take care

Thanks for clarifying the advice @ib4uib . I think I've worked out that this could be seen as a sort of s h. It's a 10,000 mile journey that's been avoided for a long time. Sad choices have to happen, consequences accepted or something like that.