What_the^heck?! ;/ ... @Always Hopeless :^)
Work bully
- Thread starter Sunday16
- Start date
I used to work in a very toxic environment and it just makes your whole life darker and more difficult. It as so sad because it was a job that I loved for the first couple of years, but then a few things changed and a lot more stuff fell on my shoulders. It's hard. I'm sorry nothing has improved but glad you seem to be able to keep your head down a bit and work. I hope that's at least a little less stressful.
100% I concur and also this happened to me, down to the trauma..only I got massively backlash attacked and ended up getting fired and lost all my connections from work I had built up over four years. Major corporation, nowhere to go with what they did and no legal recourse because I couldn't even get support. I had no idea this kind of thing happened to others until a few years ago. More people know about narcissistic abuse now, which is what this behaviour is, but not really sure if it will help or make things worse idk.
I am one who hates bullies, when I was younger the counter comment was go pick on someone your own size typically said by more than a few, or go pick on someone who will fight, some don't care to, that is their thing and you leave them be.
At work for me was a goofball who would throw a punch at your face, missing it by inches. He tried that with me. I am 5'6' and about 160 but can bench press and dead lift well over 200 pounds, so I picked the twerp up about a foot over me, he was 5'10 and 180 and just told him I would toss his ass over my shoulder and where he landed was what he would get. Did he think I was kidding? Nope. My other comment was for him to just go away and leave me in peace if he knew what was good for him, he did.
At work for me was a goofball who would throw a punch at your face, missing it by inches. He tried that with me. I am 5'6' and about 160 but can bench press and dead lift well over 200 pounds, so I picked the twerp up about a foot over me, he was 5'10 and 180 and just told him I would toss his ass over my shoulder and where he landed was what he would get. Did he think I was kidding? Nope. My other comment was for him to just go away and leave me in peace if he knew what was good for him, he did.
I do not one for one minute empathize or sympathize with enablers of abuse. It shouldn't matter if ones job is on the line, you stand with your coworkers and stand for what's right. That courage isn't some special gift some people have, we all get pushed and either fall back or stand up. Enablers of bullies may be able to be analyzed, but not coddled. Grown adults know if you all stand with the victims the boss can't fire everyone. It's just selfishness more than self preservation and imo it's disgusting and immature. At any rate this thread helped me process a situation that happens over fifteen years ago that was the catalyst to my life falling apart and reading this was very validating. I think head down is good until you can get out. I want to amend that some bystanders are self preserving because they are under threat, I'm sure, but most in these situations are def complicit and could simply choose to do the right thing and don't, because they get kickbacks.
I hope it's not to awful all day and you can find some way to zen through the day. I hope his doesn't make you more of a target and if the bullying did move on to another person, and you were quiet, I would see you as not complicit but under threat.
I really hope keeping your head down works. I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm seeing so many others too. Scary. -rin
I hope it's not to awful all day and you can find some way to zen through the day. I hope his doesn't make you more of a target and if the bullying did move on to another person, and you were quiet, I would see you as not complicit but under threat.
I really hope keeping your head down works. I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm seeing so many others too. Scary. -rin
here for you I totally get it
UPDATE: I just finished my first week at my new job!
I don't want to dwell on the past, the pain and disappointments of my previous job, but I wanted to share that I found a new job that makes me feel proud and supported, and that I'm happy to give my time and energy to. The process of applying and interviewing was daunting, but I put in the effort and I'm so glad I did because my new job feels like a perfect fit for talents. Most importantly, I work with people who care about something other than profits and corporate politics. I'm working in the public sector, in education, where success is defined by helping others. My coworkers are kind and caring and we all have the same goal: helping young people.
This past year, with all it's challenges, made me realize what matters to me and how I want to contribute to the world. It's meaningful to me to do something where I can feel helpful and benefit my community at the same time. I'm grateful to everyone who read my posts here and who offered kindness and support when I needed it. It's possible to change your situation. I did it and you can, too.
I don't want to dwell on the past, the pain and disappointments of my previous job, but I wanted to share that I found a new job that makes me feel proud and supported, and that I'm happy to give my time and energy to. The process of applying and interviewing was daunting, but I put in the effort and I'm so glad I did because my new job feels like a perfect fit for talents. Most importantly, I work with people who care about something other than profits and corporate politics. I'm working in the public sector, in education, where success is defined by helping others. My coworkers are kind and caring and we all have the same goal: helping young people.
This past year, with all it's challenges, made me realize what matters to me and how I want to contribute to the world. It's meaningful to me to do something where I can feel helpful and benefit my community at the same time. I'm grateful to everyone who read my posts here and who offered kindness and support when I needed it. It's possible to change your situation. I did it and you can, too.
Yay! That's awesome news! 