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I'm Old

Daphna

Daphna

Ninja of light
#21
#21
Gonz said:
This is something I've mentioned before.

I feel old. Like there's nothing left for me to look forward to, and now I'm just waiting to die. And, if I'm being honest, it feels like I might not have all that much longer to wait. I'm going through the motions, doing all the stuff that will supposedly get me healthy again, but I honestly can't imagine still being alive five years from now.

I spend a lot of time indulging in nostalgia. Listening to to music and playing video games and watching movies all from when I was young. Give me Mike Tyson's Punch Out and the smell of weed smoke and I'm seven years old again sleeping over at my cool older cousin's house like I used to do every weekend.

The world fuckin' sucks these days.

I feel like I've already been through all of life's stages and now I'm ready for it to be over.

My wife is gone. My friends are gone. My health is failing. I'm too worn out and broken down to serve any purpose, all my effort just goes into maintaining life, but there's nothing to do with that life other than to just exist and watch it wind out and wait for the inevitable.

I feel like I'm gonna be one of those people who dies of old age in their forties.
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We can take care of the physical, but the spiritual takes the backseat. Your struggles are internal. Have you sought the Almighty? Have you prayed for direction and wisdom? I used to feel dead inside and I know what it feels like to go through life’s motions. It feels pointless and shallow. There’s meaning for those who look. We all have a purpose, pray to know yours, and I will join you.
 
MichaelKay

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#23
#23
Sorry for the necro but I was just going through the forum and reading a few posts and I could so relate to this thread.

I feel sort of the same. That the rest of my life is just a chore to get through. I feel my life went on hold the day I turned 18 and everything since then has just been me standing on an escalator leading me towards my grave. And I can totally understand that feeling of not even wanting to try and change anything anymore.

I don't know what encouraging words I can contribute with here. It's hard but I hope for all of us it's only a temporary feeling that disappears at some point. This just resonated so much with me. Hell, even the thing about nostalgia, memories of childhood videogames and just chilling with friends is so much my experience as well.
 
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