Were you bullied?

When I was a child, I was often or mostly bullied at school. But my own family did it too. Later, when I rightly hated my family for it, my father always said: “Yes, it was fun, they did it because you were little” I just can't understand it...

Please don't let yourselves be bullied...

Do everything you can not to let it happen, it's just the worst thing that can happen to you...

Yeah. I was the autistic kid in my classes. I wish I had the foresight to settle my scores back then instead of just living in regret of that now. I mean if I ever do see anyone who bullied me on the street or in public then I'll probably knock them down with only my fist and run off.

I was bullied in school from grade 1 to 10 by children & teachers. I was bullied by my mother all my life. I experienced bullying in the workplace also. My bullying experiences resulted in my social phobia & contributed to my C-PTSD & DID among other things. My social isolation is direct result of my bullying. I can't write anymore or else I'll trigger myself.😥

(Sorry, this is long, but it's still a very raw, crucial topic for me)
Yeah, it wasn't great. When you're different, cruel people see vulnerability in you, and they choose to exploit it. They do all kinds of awful things to you because they can, or because they feel justified in punishing you for going against the grain. I decided to try and fight back, to defend myself, but that didn't really fix anything. It just made people double down and insist i was the problem, and tell me over and over again that something was broken inside of me, that i was just an awful person for daring to resist. By the end of school, i was such a monster in people's eyes all it took was a single unrelated smile for them to decide i was celebrating a person's death. That's how little they thought of me.

Eventually i internalised that messaging, until i thought i was this broken, subhuman monster, and my only purpose in the world was to serve as a corrosive, damaging influence. The first time i tried to end myself, it was because i honestly believed if i didn't, one day i'd turn into a killer. I thought something as terrible as me didn't have a hope of being anything better.

It did a lot of damage to me, and pushed me into damaging myself further, all damage i'm recovering from, but it's still a work in progress. They kind of ruined me for a long time, and my life will always follow a different trajectory than it could have. And to this day, it grinds some gears inside of me to think they did it, they tore a person's self-esteem and happiness to shreds, for their own amusement, because they thought it was funny and good. Sometimes i think how much i'd like to track my bullies down and explain to them how cruel their actions were, but there'd be no point. I can't hold them responsible now for who they were back then without being a major hypocrite. A lot of the work i did was to accept that i'm not the kid i was back then, and i don't have to feel responsible for his actions, even though i'm now learning to view him with the same empathy i've learned to apply to my current self. I have to be willing to acknowledge that they aren't any more responsible now for who they were then.

Sending safe hugs to anyone who was bullied and who would like safe hugs.

I was bullied relentlessly in school. Probably not as bad as some other kids, but it was uncanny how many kids were able to sense that I was an easy target. I didn’t fight back because I felt so unworthy. This was due to the way I was treated at home. Since I had no concept of standing up for myself, I didn’t. Except for one time, and it felt really good. I didn’t get bullied after that, but it was 9th grade so people were more occupied with their own raging hormones and the bullying decreased overall.

Just checking..kids don't think so much matter fact adults don't much either just don't think to much about it your better then that

I'm sorry that happend. I can relate but don't let your past tell your future your a good person

It’s been hard to draw a line between bullying and… things that went beyond that because they were all part of the same spectrum of behavior.

That’s one of the things I’m working on in therapy; most people experience x at some point, most people do not experience y but it’s expected that it’ll happen once in a while, z is horrifying and part of the reason you’re still so messed up 35 years later. That kind of thing.

I have a very bad sense of what’s “normal.”

I understand there's a new normal though that you can create I'm trying to do the same thing I beleive in you

When haven't I? My entire life has been me being bullied. Over a decade have I been bullied. In school, kindergarten, online, and sometimes I feel like I get at home too. My mother doesn't respect some of my boundaries, some I understand like looking at me or my direction but some others never respected. My friends starte bullying me too, 'cause why not? Why not bully the autistic kid? I am not like how others expect of me in school nor at home. I don't want to live like this any longer, but I have to fulfill my purpose in life, which I cannot share so don't ask. At school I rarely interacted with others, nor did I want them to see me or know of my existence. I wish I couldn't talk or be seen by others, like I was a ghost in the room. I did not want to be around others 'cause of the constant teasing, bullying and them making fun of me, for how I saved a ball from going into the goal, for how I walked, how I acted, how I am. Being me made the others frustrated, why? I don't know. My only purpose in life is to be hated by others. Hatred fuels me now, hatred is all I feel. I haven't felt happiness in years. I don't want to anymore. It's been so long since I was happy I forgot how it feels to be happy. I hate myself with a passion. I am scared to try new clothes, hairstyles and anythign else, 'cause I'm scared of being made fun of more, being bullied harder. I still dream of being bullied even now that I have graduated. They have left a mark in my brain that'll never leave, only when I parrish I can feel a sense of relief for when death finally reaches me I will be in the real world. This constant bullying, constant teasing and constantly being made fun of is a test by god to see if I am worthy of my purpose. I've never felt love from anyone, I cannot feel emotions anymore, the only emotions I actually feel are sadness, and hatred. Self hatred is all I say all day to myself.

We like you and those who bullied u were dumb. Dont let others effect you. Everyone cares about you on here. Please be kind to yourself

So, I came to a realisation about bullying which more or less invalidates whatever they say.

When we are born our brains are still developing. At first we don't have a concept of object permanence, which is why the "peekaboo" game is so entertaining for them. Many things take time, and surprisingly, until late in childhood we all would class as sociopaths if we were tested by adult metrics. Socially we go through a similar evolution.

We start off as just accepting what we are told, either gladly or with tears. Then we begin anticipating and negotiating, trying to manipulate the authority into giving us what we want, then we begin rebelling and countering their decisions. At this point we transition from accepting clear authority over us to vying for power among our peers in a vaguely tribal structure. Fighting for popularity and dominance through overt displays meant to impress but containing very little substance. Exemplifying the average rather than showing any great innovation. "I am safe, I am one of you, just better".

So, until a certain age we act like primitives, void of proper empathy and vying for tribalistic dominance, pushing others down to raise ourselves up. The more evolved grow out of this quickly or even rise above immediately, the less evolved stay there permanently.

So, in short, bullying is the act of a mind which never grew up from juvenile tribalistic displays and is an instinctive mindless rejection of "other" rather than any actual attack on you. It makes them small, incapable of change or evolution.

It makes you better than them, not the other way around.

Pls pardon a little rant. There are some (not here) who have told me that bullies deserve care and sympathy. My response to that is: go ahead if you want to try; as long as I'm not the one having to care for them. Bullying is b.s., it is intentional humiliation, shaming and hurting of others. I'm not going to reward it by caring. The best way to kill something is to ignore it.

Very well said and very wise

I have absolutely no sympathy for bullies, either.