Hey all, I made this thread for special reasons. One of them is @bobbob , 
- I had great success with exposure therapy years ago. It was only for about 9 sessions and it changed my life for the better. Making this thread, writing all this places things in a different perspective for me, looking back to 6 years ago and where I was then. I did this training/therapy in the Netherlands - so this is all translated from Dutch.
[I hope this is helpful to people who - for example - are interested in exposure therapy, but don’t know what it really looks like.]
What I was told is that: It’s only about 4 pages of text (!) - they did this on purpose - the mental professionals. I’m sure there’s like 300 page books out there on OCD, but there are reasons these 4 pages are super effective. Especially when guided by a mental health professional.
[Feel free to add to this, if you have any questions about anything or just want to talk & chat about OCD, anxiety and more.]
The exercises below are based on my own experience with exposure therapy. You’ll be perhaps surprised to see that there’s only one “compulsive action, behavior” below here. But that action on its own was at the time the most negatively impactful thing in my life for years. It's possible to have many compulsive actions.
Compulsive actions:
1. Looking up information [on the internet] about World War 2.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Possible negative expectations to examine:
1. When I think about World War 2, I will become psychotic.
2. When I think about World War 2, then I can not function in life - [work, study, cook dinner etc.]
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Exposure exercises
1. Thinking about World War 2 and not looking up information [on the internet].
2. Thinking about World War 2 and then reading a book [at the same time].
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
[To give context to what you are reading here and what these exercises are meant to combat:]
[From an older thread years ago]
(((Hey all,
This will be a thread about what I have been going through for a while now, close to a year. OCD and obsessive thinking are the main subjects. I felt the need to write this off.
It was only recently that I shared this experience with another member here. The OCD I have and because of the way it expresses itself, it is an impossible beast for me to tame. Not to use the word control in this situation, taming it is, since there is no 100% cure – I have to say that often I feel that I am being controlled. Also it tends to behave like a delusion, such as the one experienced during a psychosis.
Example: While I was reading a book – “Perdido Street Station” – I experienced obsessive thoughts. How they express themselves is like this: I was “forced” to follow letters on the page I was reading, with my eyes until it spelled out a word. That word was Auschwitz. I hadn't been able to find the letter Z on that page, but some others letters were easier to find, like the A, U and I. There was no “or else”. What if I wasn't able to finish this task – what would happen then? I felt this great threat that my mind would only focus on the letters that would spell out Auschwitz if they were to appear in a certain order. As I arrived at the letter “W”, my thought was – “I would get closer to Auschwitz this way” – both physically and emotionally.
I consider this to be a higher level of insanity that I myself am unable to understand. I just wanted to read a book for relaxation and a bit of escapism. As the situation was, I wasn't able visualize any of the words and sentences in the book. I didn't remember anything I had read in that book, so after the obsessive thoughts happened, I just quit reading all together for that day. It just felt so god awful.
So as you may have guessed: “World War 2” is one of the main subjects of how my OCD expresses itself. Any thought I had at some point could be linked to that subject. I can not think rationally or realistically about the subject of World War 2 anymore. If I were to continue thinking about it then I will for sure get on the wrong track of things.
The word “track” I just used, can be linked to a train rail track > Which can be indicating the train on its way to Auschwitz > The Holocaust... > … thinking about the entire reach of war > all those people who died as individuals > experiencing their suffering 1 by 1. It's a looping state of mind. Trigger and re-trigger.
It's just insane at times – OCD is no joke. After having experienced 2 psychotic episodes and depersonalization disorder (still ongoing) I seem to get one problem after another that I “have” to solve. No one is forcing me to solve any of these issues though. I do know that if I let this continue it can only lead to more suffering. Let's say I were to look up more information on the subject of WW2, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Every thought about it would linger until the point of no return. That's the delusion, there is no reward at all, no relief in sight if I keep following these orders.
About control and why this obsessive thinking keeps happening...
What I think is going on: “I don't want to be confronted with my own fears.”
A psychiatrist asked me earlier this year: “Are you afraid to feel?” My answer was yes – I am afraid to experience emotions in general. I don't trust any of my emotions since my second psychotic episode. While I was completely delusional then, there shouldn't be a reason why I would be that way now. I got medication that works versus the psychotic symptoms. I still have regrets there perhaps and fear that it may happen again. Regrets include: “I could have stopped this from happening”.
It has been a traumatic year... Unable to trust my own inner voice, my emotions, my ideas all because of inflicted trauma all those years ago.
All I can say in the end is: “This is not a permanent thing, my past experiences prove that.”
I've been through worse than this and always managed to return to who I am.)))
Successful exposure
The basic principles:
1. Test the expectation: Test if your negative expectation of what you are afraid of becomes reality and keep repeating this.
2. Assess the expectation:
a. Keep naming beforehand EXACTLY what you are afraid of (catastrophe).
b. Did this really end up happening?
c. How surprising is this for you?
d. What have you learned?
3. Add these together: Do different exposure exercises first separately from each other and then at the same time!
4. Confront yourself: Make sure that now and then that the [feared situation] will be recalled alongside the [anxiety] while you are practicing these exposure exercises.
For example:
Social anxiety - doing [shame] exercises
Producing a (self induced) [panic attack] while practicing this in a store.
5. Diversify: The exposure exercises
It’s also a good exercise to expose yourself in a more imaginary setting.
For example: Writing a short (film) script of your most [feared situation]
6. Experience feelings: Very important! Actually experience your feelings and [DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE THESE FEELINGS].
7. Throw the compulsions overboard: Stop the compulsive behavior entirely.
For example: Stop washing hands, avoiding situations, asking for reassurance.
8. Attention (span): Stay focussed on the exposure, do not find or seek out distractions!
9. Anxiety: The goal of successful exposure is testing the expectation, and NOT to [NOT experience the feelings of anxiety]. Don’t be afraid of anxiety and actually experience it.
10. Reminder: At the end of this [exposure exercise]: Keep thinking about successful exposure exercises and use something for this to keep reminding you of it, like a signal.
(more to come..., about 1 page more)
- I had great success with exposure therapy years ago. It was only for about 9 sessions and it changed my life for the better. Making this thread, writing all this places things in a different perspective for me, looking back to 6 years ago and where I was then. I did this training/therapy in the Netherlands - so this is all translated from Dutch.[I hope this is helpful to people who - for example - are interested in exposure therapy, but don’t know what it really looks like.]
What I was told is that: It’s only about 4 pages of text (!) - they did this on purpose - the mental professionals. I’m sure there’s like 300 page books out there on OCD, but there are reasons these 4 pages are super effective. Especially when guided by a mental health professional.
[Feel free to add to this, if you have any questions about anything or just want to talk & chat about OCD, anxiety and more.]
The exercises below are based on my own experience with exposure therapy. You’ll be perhaps surprised to see that there’s only one “compulsive action, behavior” below here. But that action on its own was at the time the most negatively impactful thing in my life for years. It's possible to have many compulsive actions.
Compulsive actions:
1. Looking up information [on the internet] about World War 2.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Possible negative expectations to examine:
1. When I think about World War 2, I will become psychotic.
2. When I think about World War 2, then I can not function in life - [work, study, cook dinner etc.]
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Exposure exercises
1. Thinking about World War 2 and not looking up information [on the internet].
2. Thinking about World War 2 and then reading a book [at the same time].
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
[To give context to what you are reading here and what these exercises are meant to combat:]
[From an older thread years ago]
(((Hey all,
This will be a thread about what I have been going through for a while now, close to a year. OCD and obsessive thinking are the main subjects. I felt the need to write this off.
It was only recently that I shared this experience with another member here. The OCD I have and because of the way it expresses itself, it is an impossible beast for me to tame. Not to use the word control in this situation, taming it is, since there is no 100% cure – I have to say that often I feel that I am being controlled. Also it tends to behave like a delusion, such as the one experienced during a psychosis.
Example: While I was reading a book – “Perdido Street Station” – I experienced obsessive thoughts. How they express themselves is like this: I was “forced” to follow letters on the page I was reading, with my eyes until it spelled out a word. That word was Auschwitz. I hadn't been able to find the letter Z on that page, but some others letters were easier to find, like the A, U and I. There was no “or else”. What if I wasn't able to finish this task – what would happen then? I felt this great threat that my mind would only focus on the letters that would spell out Auschwitz if they were to appear in a certain order. As I arrived at the letter “W”, my thought was – “I would get closer to Auschwitz this way” – both physically and emotionally.
I consider this to be a higher level of insanity that I myself am unable to understand. I just wanted to read a book for relaxation and a bit of escapism. As the situation was, I wasn't able visualize any of the words and sentences in the book. I didn't remember anything I had read in that book, so after the obsessive thoughts happened, I just quit reading all together for that day. It just felt so god awful.
So as you may have guessed: “World War 2” is one of the main subjects of how my OCD expresses itself. Any thought I had at some point could be linked to that subject. I can not think rationally or realistically about the subject of World War 2 anymore. If I were to continue thinking about it then I will for sure get on the wrong track of things.
The word “track” I just used, can be linked to a train rail track > Which can be indicating the train on its way to Auschwitz > The Holocaust... > … thinking about the entire reach of war > all those people who died as individuals > experiencing their suffering 1 by 1. It's a looping state of mind. Trigger and re-trigger.
It's just insane at times – OCD is no joke. After having experienced 2 psychotic episodes and depersonalization disorder (still ongoing) I seem to get one problem after another that I “have” to solve. No one is forcing me to solve any of these issues though. I do know that if I let this continue it can only lead to more suffering. Let's say I were to look up more information on the subject of WW2, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Every thought about it would linger until the point of no return. That's the delusion, there is no reward at all, no relief in sight if I keep following these orders.
About control and why this obsessive thinking keeps happening...
What I think is going on: “I don't want to be confronted with my own fears.”
A psychiatrist asked me earlier this year: “Are you afraid to feel?” My answer was yes – I am afraid to experience emotions in general. I don't trust any of my emotions since my second psychotic episode. While I was completely delusional then, there shouldn't be a reason why I would be that way now. I got medication that works versus the psychotic symptoms. I still have regrets there perhaps and fear that it may happen again. Regrets include: “I could have stopped this from happening”.
It has been a traumatic year... Unable to trust my own inner voice, my emotions, my ideas all because of inflicted trauma all those years ago.
All I can say in the end is: “This is not a permanent thing, my past experiences prove that.”
I've been through worse than this and always managed to return to who I am.)))
Successful exposure
The basic principles:
1. Test the expectation: Test if your negative expectation of what you are afraid of becomes reality and keep repeating this.
2. Assess the expectation:
a. Keep naming beforehand EXACTLY what you are afraid of (catastrophe).
b. Did this really end up happening?
c. How surprising is this for you?
d. What have you learned?
3. Add these together: Do different exposure exercises first separately from each other and then at the same time!
4. Confront yourself: Make sure that now and then that the [feared situation] will be recalled alongside the [anxiety] while you are practicing these exposure exercises.
For example:
Social anxiety - doing [shame] exercises
Producing a (self induced) [panic attack] while practicing this in a store.
5. Diversify: The exposure exercises
It’s also a good exercise to expose yourself in a more imaginary setting.
For example: Writing a short (film) script of your most [feared situation]
6. Experience feelings: Very important! Actually experience your feelings and [DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE THESE FEELINGS].
7. Throw the compulsions overboard: Stop the compulsive behavior entirely.
For example: Stop washing hands, avoiding situations, asking for reassurance.
8. Attention (span): Stay focussed on the exposure, do not find or seek out distractions!
9. Anxiety: The goal of successful exposure is testing the expectation, and NOT to [NOT experience the feelings of anxiety]. Don’t be afraid of anxiety and actually experience it.
10. Reminder: At the end of this [exposure exercise]: Keep thinking about successful exposure exercises and use something for this to keep reminding you of it, like a signal.
(more to come..., about 1 page more)
]
First it tries to reason with it, then the mind turns into a lie detector, but its calculations are never leading to the outcome where I will just simply not have anxiety at all or a bad thought. (( An atomic clock is a clock that measures time by monitoring the resonant frequency of atoms ))
- that's what recovery is to me.
, yeah I guess I know it won’t miraculously make it go away but if something could help (even just a little bit) then that would be a good contributor to managing it better.
