I see no future

I will be turning 58 soon. I have pretty much been experiencing loneliness off and on throughout my life but after I hit 30 it's just gotten worse with each year. I never married and never had kids. I guess my life just didn't turn out that way. I have been distanced from my friends for almost 5 years now (physically distanced) and they are drifting away more and more. They all have their lives, although some may be single, they have their children and grandchildren. Every group I try to join is filled with people talking about their spouses, their children, their grandchildren and their lives. I used to immerse my self in my work to keep going and for awhile that was enough. It's not anymore. I go to therapy and the therapists try but there is no miracle fix for this. I know all the coping skills and other things but it doesn't take the loneliness away. I am lonely even when I'm in a group of people. I volunteer at organizations because in the past helping those less fortunate helped me feel better. Now, I see how even those less fortunate have loved ones to lean on and it makes me even lonelier and I feel ashamed because I am jealous of them. I've been coming here for over a year now and everyone has been very nice and supportive but I still am so lonely. I've stopped going out when I don't have to. I've stopped cleaning my house because no one comes over anyway. I've stopped doing anything that's not a real necessity at this time while I figure out if I will go into the new year. I don't get up much when I'm not working. I don't go outside much when I'm not working. I don't eat much because nothing tastes good and I don't care to take the time. I guess I have given up.

I am 59 and I admit I have friends and family to be with. But I too can feel lonely at family gatherings and friend gatherings. I stopped going to Meetups because all I did was sit with the group talking to everyone else but me and I felt lonely. I refuse to go to friend events where I know I will be ignored. I sometimes wish to go to the soup kitchen for a meal not because I can't afford one but to be with people who might talk to me. All I can say to contact your friends even though they are drifting away - they would like to hear from you. I understand it is not easy. I feel lonely a lot in spite of the friends and family.

Hugs

I feel like you. I have no one. I could write a long list to try to describe that in detail. I'll just describe how it feels. It feels like: "I'm not gonna let Rose feel like that!" I have good points and positives, but nothing human besides me. I have problems that are decades old. But I am sending you this message to say I am here and I'm talking to you. Can I help you somehow?

Thank you and I wish you could but I don't believe there is an answer anymore.

I am early 60's and I understand and experience much of what you have shared here. I haven't been married for over 20 years and am also without children. and have no family. My inner circle of friends (3) have died the past 5 years and the 2 friends that have known me for decades live thousands of miles away and don't know how I have deteriorated in the past 2 years...I won't tell them, fear of them drifting completely out of my life if I do. Once a month conversation doesn't ease loneliness. I tried volunteering and still occasionally do it, it does not help my mind state. I understand about the appetite diminishing although mine was partially due to physical illness the past 2 years but it is mentally rough for me to always just cook for myself, what's the joy in that. your remarks about therapy and tools and being lonely in a group are the same for me. People my age around me have children and grandchildren and some are still working....they are busy. Many people don't understand it is challenging at this age to develop new friendships that go beyond having an occasional cup of coffee or a text every few weeks or months.
My heart goes out to those of us that are in a certain age bracket and where we are finding ourselves. I read and hear similar outside of this site and it really is a more common issue than most people think. Having loved ones is vital as far as I'm concerned and I have not landed on any solutions as of yet.
And I am willing to continue being alive even though I hit a low point once if not usually more during the course of the day and evening.
And I decided I would clean my house for myself even though people don't come over unless I'm having work done. It works on a certain level........
Please don't give up, not today, not yet..... I didn't mean to write a book, it's the holidays and this is an even harder time period for me so thank you for posting and sharing. I am sad that you are in a similar state....I wish there was more we could do to be of help to each other.

It sucks being lonely. Just know we're here for you.

Some people feel reality is not as cut and dry as it's made out to be. I notice you say you don't believe there is an answer. I feel the same. But I know it is possible. If you wish I could help, maybe I could. What if... I just kept on hoping I could help you and somehow it just became reality for a little while?

I agree about the potential for possibilities whatever time spans

I'm glad we agree, thank-you

I hear that. I even tried to demoralised the effects of wanting to be needed/wanted as it seemed almost impossible to not feel alone but I hope you also do practice self-love and self-care a lot cause everyone is going to end up being alone anyway and because there is a differences between loneliness and depression, I hope you don’t let the loneliness gets to you too much.

In the same boat. And similar in that I do not leave the house much and have lost interest in food ( and everything else). Also I cannot cope with stress of any kind and feel permanently exhausted.
I like being alone ( am an introvert) but at the same time need a particular environment ( which I do not have at the moment) to survive. It is very isolating being among people who live for their kids and grandkids and who talk about nothing else.
I guess finding an environment with more 'like-minded' people would help. .. but this is very difficult.
At the moment, for financial reasons, I am stuck working at a job I hate, with people I cannot relate to, and living with family so I can pay off debts.
Life seems to be an endurance test of suffering.
Perhaps knowing others feel the same, may help a little. I know that when I look up quotes on loneliness, suffering, heartache, sadness, fatigue etc...by great authors, it instantly makes me feel less alone in my suffering. The truth is, I can only relate to people who have, or are suffering in some way.

I agree that there is no future. I get out of the house to go to work because I need money. Am in my late 60's, never married. All I want to do is sleep. Only future I long for is death.

Oh Bear, sending you hugs - and to everyone on this thread. Loneliness gets so much harder as we get older and sometimes its a huge effort to try an fight it x

I agree in my life current life experience, It's present regardless of any social engaging so it is remains a daily event and effort

I get it.Early 60's and basically single for over 20 years. I'm glad you can still work to support yourself.

Same, regarding sleep. I have to nap several times a day, on my days off, to recover from my 3-day working stints. I am fibromyalgic ( not as severe as some, I think) ... but it is tough because of the fatigue, and the irritation of chronic aches and pains, which weakens one's resistance to stress and just about everything.
No one warns you of the depletion in energy ( for various reasons such as illness, loneliness, etc...) as we get older.
Having no energy is why solutions seem so pointless.
Yes it would be great to go trekking, join art classes, get out more etc... but feeling depleted all the time makes it impossible.
I try to do a gratitude list, but when one feels like crap, it is hard to get into it.