Mental health and old age

I worry as I get older how my brain is going to be. Will it turn to mush? I've been on loads of meds throughout my life and experience side effects like brain zaps, shakiness etc. I worry my illness will only get worse and I'll end up in some state institution left to rot away my "life" I've seen many elderly people end up like that. It scares me that I might lose my faculties and be dependent on others. Anyone else have these fears?

100%. Is there a history of dementia in your family? Of all the effects anti-depressant meds have, I don't think dementia is one of them. There may even be a protective effect (I think people recovering from a head injury are sometimes put on Prozac to help).

The only thing I've found to do is eat as healthy as I can and exercise - more and more they are finding that regular exercise helps your brain.

Hey @Lady Wolfshead thanks for the reply. I'm not worried about dementia.. really more ending up crazy all the time instead of sometimes, if that makes sense? I guess I'm just scared one day I won't come back from an episode. It's scary to know I can lose complete touch with reality, I dissociate often, what if I never come back? I'm really scared of ending up completely bonkers ya know? Just being in my own lala land.

I hope that doesn't have a chance to occur with you @Astrid78. I have those thoughts as well about ending up with mush brains. I observe changes as I age. It feels harder knowing I'm the only one that is here to cross all the "T's" and dot all the "I's" year after year.

I hope you "age" well. Its scary noticing changes, I forget a lot and wonder if my brain is going to shit or I dissociated haha.

Very much so, especially since there's history on one side of my family. I can only hope it's not hereditary. If it were just meds, I wouldn't be concerned all that much myself. I don't think these change physiology long-term, but mainly just correct imbalances as needed (but then I'm no doctor).

If a downward spiral starts, I hope we have enough self-awareness and faculties left to notice and do something about it. On the other hand, gliding obliviously to the bottom need not necessarily be bad, provided no one else gets hurt in the process.

Along those lines, I've got a bunch of (maybe silly) tests to check if it's happening, such as multiplying small numbers in my head, standing on one foot while tying a shoe, reciting old lyrics or poems I've known by heart, etc. I guess these are sort of like the dementia test Trump bragged about acing. Maybe I'll add that particular test to my list, since it's online.

Not silly at all and I do similar things as well

Good thoughts for us both to always remain independent, to do what it takes to be as clear headed and minded as we can be. I had experience with a bit of dissociating, it was brought to my attention by a therapist in my 20's who I'm grateful worked with me on it.

I really want to say something but I'm not sure what I could say. but being a bit (I believe) older, maybe I'm more at the "age". I'll say that my early morning walks make me happy and alive in spite of a couple drawbacks. this counts as exercise, but it's great to be a part of nature. I think there are ways to do that even without a park. I also write poetry and poetic prose. it presents challenges - artistic and intellectual. that excites me. I'm in a poetry meetup group that meets weekly. there are so many art/intellect linked things that are free and easy to be involved with as an observer/experiencer or practitioner. on the other hand, my wife loves sports and keeps active with pickleball.

my disorders, illness and whatever are very much alive. but in a sense, it's been with me all my life. I can say I'm used to it. still I'm grateful and happy there are these enjoyable things. maybe mush can be avoided by choice.

@Astrid78

I haven't taken meds for nearly five years, so not worried about fallout from that so much, more concerned about dementia/senility/Alzheimer's. No family history of it that I'm aware of, but still..

I think @extraterrestrialone hit the nail on the head. Simple pleasures can truly be a grounding and become a "safe harbor" for us, as it were...

I'm worried about losing my independence, having no money to live on, nobody to help and being placed in a horrific retirement home without any privacy or dignity. At this very moment, I want to be dead. I cannot face that.

well I have one of those. Nobody to help. Nobody that cares and loves me. And I fear the rest too

my chief concern these days is the fear of dying before i get to accomplish the personal changes i’m working on making. it seems as if my healthcare/mental healthcare team is dedicated to protecting their own comfort zones and narrowmindedness over appropriate healthcare so they overlook or reject my needs on a routine basis. that makes it necessary for me to be constantly vigilant in keeping them focused. its hard work when my inclinations are to get distressed when this all is combined with a body that is getting more inclined to hurt due to age related deterioration and moving around becomes difficult.

i think it is very important that no matter how much you are worried or feeling bad about it, finding a way to smile (even if using corny methods) helps fight off the fears moving into reality or helps make the realities work more in your favor. always speaking up is important, but if the helpers can feel happy when helping you, then they may help you achieve greater positivity. now keep in mind, i have been notorious as “mr negativity” throughout my life. i’m actively making changes. i honestly don’t know if everything will work the way i’m aiming for, but it is how i see it to make my final years good ones. just some thoughts right now!!!🌞

@Leesa and @Waves.....it's the same for me except with the obscene amounts of money they charge, I wouldn't be going in any kind of facility, I'd end up on the streets more than likely. I won't allow that to happen.

It would just suck my Social Security and leave me wuth nothing. I watched this happen a friend that was like a mom to me, I witnessed the nightmare.

I make people smile at work and then come home alone. For the most part, everyone is 20s/30s and just starting. I am not included in anything outside of work and that's ok because our interests are different. What's not ok is that when i was that age, I wasn't included even when my interests were the same. Those people moved on. Now I'm alone.

My sister in laws mother was diagnosed with dementia yesterday. She (her mother) is upset and understably so. She does have three adult children, a partner, and some money so she will get good care and support. But, she might not understand that at some point. She is 79.

Yes it would take the social security and whatever I would have remaining in retirement. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, it's so sad.

i don't profess to make any sense with my way of thinking and being. it just is. i think that in my 20s and 30s, i was in a very similar situation to yours. i have a family now - wife and kids but that does not seem to lessen my loneliness. sometimes i think being peculiar is what keeps me going. there is something nice to being strangely unique - even with the mental health professionals pinning labels on me and saying i’m schizo or anti social or something. i don’t hurt people and i find my own ways of finding something i think is good. could be that i believe in myself but i have no idea why i would. what will happen to me that i am not accounting for now that i won’t like when i get to whatever xx age i might get to, i guess will happen when it happens. for now, i gotta cling to my delusions and be happy from time to time as best i can.

a thing about the 20s 30s people is that they have just recently broken free of their parents - those people who are about our age. why - they must wonder, if wonder at all - would they choose someone else of that older age group for friendship. but i do believe some of them do. maybe it has to do with specialized interests or that the older one some how commands real respect.

This. I have so much trouble getting those people to listen, I mean it's hard enough with the dissociation, but all they want to hear is if I have a plan. I'm getting bad side effects, thinking in rhymes brain zaps so intense they hurt. As long as I don't have a plan my health doesn't matter.