Empathy Only Jealous of kids

I was just looking through some threads and one was by a teenage girl feeling badly because she's never had a boyfriend. There was a lot of support and encouragement and she perked up ( which is great) but I'm 50 and have no experience either. I feel so inferior, tired, and obviously alone. I don't even want to try any more. I just want to die. It's the only way to escape the pain.

there is always time to find that forever partner. a lot of people find that perfect person in their 50s and 60s and since we live until our 80s and 90s that's still a long time to live with someone. the only way you can fail is if you quit trying. don't give up keep trying...mike...

I'm not sure that it matters if you're 15 and not had a partner or 50 and having the same experience. Or if you've been with someone for a long time and lose that person. If you're alone or feel alone then that's how it is, right? Either way, it sucks. Feeling alone is crap. You're certainly not inferior to anyone though. You don't need to base your life on someone else to be complete somehow. You are an entire person all your own. You make your life what it is (and then sometimes through that complete life another person comes along)

It's a part of human development. If you aren't walking by 3 years old, there's something that needs to be addressed. Humans can only procreate for so long. There's a reason and that means things do have a timeline. If it's your choice, then that's fine. But if you have had those experiences, you cannot fathom the pain that is associated without having those coming of age moments. People like me are joked about and it hurts me to my core. Therapists usually don't believe me because it's so 'rare' or 'unusual'. Not normal.

@Leesa I am like you only older. No relationship, no spouse, no children, have lived alone for over 40 years. It use to hurt like hell. But now I have grown very comfortable with it. I do hope you find someone, but if you don't you can still be comfortable with your life.

I can't be. I feel so inadequate. The 'v' word sends me into a suicidal spiral so I beg people not to use it. I've lost friends over this. It's so fundamental to me and no therapy has ever helped.

They just had on the news that 125 Americans commit suicide each day. Why can't I be a success at that? And they say there's always help. No there isn't. I started seeking professional help 28 years ago.

Have you ever tried to meet anyone?

Of course. And I've had strong feelings for people who have rejected me. I havent felt attracted to anyone in 8 years or so. I just feel like that part if my life was sucked from me.

I think maybe what happened, or at least what it sounds like to me, is that you got rejected by someone you really cared about and then stopped trying. You can't stop trying. There are so many people out there, single people around your age, waiting to meet "the one". I know it hurts to get rejected by someone, especially someone you had a lot of feelings for, but you can't let that stop you from trying to meet other people. All it means is that they weren't the one for you, but there is someone out there who is, and you won't be able to find them by giving up and not trying anymore.

I have been hurt by multiple people. Yes, there was one that I cared for deeply. He hurt me but he wanted me to be happy. He stopped talking to me because he knew how I felt and couldn't deal with hurting me. I thought eventually, our paths would cross, we could talk about it and it would be ok. I wouldn't be able to be with him but we could clear the air. He got sick and died very quickly so the chance never presented itself

I'm very sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've been through a lot. But you still deserve to be happy, and it's out there, you just have to find it.

He's been dead almost 24 years half of my life. Then there was a guy I worked with...had absolutely no interest in him and wasn't attracted to him but he supposedly liked me. He actually said it. I convinced myself to give it a go and he still rejected me. Then I was stuck with these feelings I never wanted in the first place. As adults, I decided to talk to him. I asked him what it was about me that made him feel it was ok to treat me that way. I even dug deep and admitted I had never been with anyone. I know this might seem stupid but I needed answers. He said I wasn't like `other 'women " but couldn't explain how. Then he told me he never had feelings for me and THEN I found out be was sleeping with my 'friend ' who was NOT prettier than me. I've put myself out there a lot. I just don't feel attracted to people any more and I'm angry. I'm angry at being hurt, being let down and not having those feelings any more. I feel old.

I'm getting worse.

Hello Leesa.
I read your post.

I don't know what to tell you.
I wish I could help you.
You sound like a good person though.
I hope things get better for you.

I appreciate it but it only worsens. I am a decent person but that doesn't change my circumstances.

I wish I had any good advice, but I'm in a similar boat and could use some myself. The main lesson I learned too late is that it won't always "just happen," despite that it worked out fine for just about everyone I know. Seeing all their successes over the years gave me the false impression that it's inevitable and automatic if you just keep an open mind and let it happen.

They say that it'll happen when you least expect it, there's a lid for every pot, etc. Maybe it's been just bad luck in not ever finding anyone. As others have noted, it can still happen at any age. Despite my own situation, I think there's a seed of truth to this.

I also hope things improve for you.

I started this thread in September.it is now July and menopause has arrived. Things are worse. While I wish the best for you,I don't believe in cliches. Sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. I know deep down I shouldn't be here therefore there isn't a lid for this useless pot. Perhaps there is for you.

I'm not big on cliches, either, especially when they don't even come true. I was misled by seeing things work out for pretty much anyone I knew, even those who themselves said it would most likely never happen in their lives.

It's pretty sad that there might be a lid out there somewhere, except we just can't find it in time. I wonder how often this happens, but it seems to be quite rare. We just might be those few unlucky cases.

All the best to you as well. Wish there was more I could help with, but I'm sort of out of insights at this stage. I still have hope that there's a solution out there somewhere for us and all others in this bind.

My 24 year old nephew is getting married right now. I'm sitting in my kitchen feeling horrible. I'm depressed, alone, and my body is falling apart.

why do you feel bad that your nephew is getting marred? this should be a joyous occasion that your nephew has found someone. your day may come some day....mike...