Should I sterilize

Next year i'll be 25. Old enough to sterilize.

I had a great home life, which would have been utopian had it not been for school. I had a utopian extracurricular/neighbourhood/online life, school was the reason i ever suffered.

My kids will obviously get homeschooled, or sent to schools like Summerhill. So they wont suffer like i did. But I might always be jealous of them. Should I sterilise to prevent unplanned pregnancy?

No that’s not the answer hugs

But what if they too have a bad life?

Not sure I understand. You're thinking of sterilizing yourself because if you had kids you might be jealous of them if they were home schooled, or sent to a prestigious boarding school?

I wanted to be home schooled or educated at Summerhill(google it, its not prestigious). My kids will have the life I never had. thus i'll be jealous

I think that if you don't want to have children for any reason then you shouldn't have children. But ultimately the decision should be based on what you think is best.

Nobody has to have kids. And really, if somebody wants to 'save the planet', choosing to not have kids would have a much greater impact than deciding to stop using plastic shopping bags, or bicycling to work. But there are ways to not have kids that don't involve permanent sterilization. This is how you feel now. If at some point in the future you have a change of heart, and feel that being a parent would be a rewarding thing, it would be good to still be physically able to produce them.

Its your life and your decision for that procedure. Having doubts about it right now and asking the forum about it is a shadow of self-doubt maybe wait til you are 100% sure. For now do birth control methods if you are sexually active. Condoms and birth control pills/ IUD usually is the best combination however its known to fail.

I am choosing not to have any children myself for many reasons and they are my reasons only and not anybodys else's. For that peace of mind talk to your doctor for what options are available for you.

Good Luck

I asked the gyno when I was early-30s (I had my daughter at 28) and he told me I was too young. I asked again at 38 (no more children since daughter) and he agreed and did it.

On the one hand I agree with @DrownedFishOnFire that asking on a forum suggests you aren’t sure enough, but on the other hand I don’t know if you can be 100% sure.. I have had moments of regret, but not many. 25 does seem pretty young though.

Good luck..


Edit: Ohhh I just re-read the thread and realised you don’t have any kids. The wording suggested you did. In that case, hell no. There are things called condoms..

The reason they're hesitant to sterilize young people is they're afraid that you might come back later on and say that you've changed your mind. I have to agree that you don't seem quite certain about this, so maybe another form of birth control would be a better solution for the moment. Do your research and find out what different methods of contraception exist for males. I'd recommend some but I'm more familiar with the female versions.

In case I'm wrong about that and you're actually entirely certain this is what you want, I'm going to share my own experiences with this subject. I've wanted to be sterilized since I first saw a woman giving birth (caused me to develop a phobia of pregnancy). As soon as I started using contraceptives I've been asking the doctor about having my tubes tied. Of course they told me I was too young to know what I want, but what I made them do was write a note in my file saying that I'd been asking for a tubal ligation since I was 16, in hopes that they'll decide to respect my decision sooner rather than later. So in case they refuse to do it on grounds of you being too young and not having any kids, get them to make a note in your file saying you've asked for the procedure. That way, when you ask for the same thing a few years down the line, they might be more likely to think you're not going to regret your decision after the fact.

Update- I am now over 25, and am still unsure about the procedure.

@leftbehindperson

Having the procedure is different with males and females. And the effects on the human body is different with the two genders.

I'm male btw

The joke in my family has been: When I was born, I was so ugly that my father had a vasectomy.

Having a vasectomy is common, and it is a simply operation that is done without being in a hospital. Not sure were you are, but a number of states within America requires the consent of the wife to have the operation. For some reason, a man told me he had the operation that was a random information about his personal life. He told me that he felt funny and different for around six months. Not sure why he told me this, but he did. Do not see you having a problem if you want it done. But I think you should talk to a medical doctor.

I've had this experience myself: horrible school life, better home-life up to a point but things took such a negative turn with the bullying, I hated my own appearance so much, I resented the idea of having a Daughter, shamefully.

I don't know why, but since meeting someone I truly love, the thought of having a child, which obviously could be a Daughter, fills me with happiness. Someone you've made together, if you're lucky enough. A true gift. Will most likely cement the bond further and continue the line, like a demonstration of your love. The happiness it brings to a partner (not that in any way is would be beneficial for you to be put under pressure to have a child, as the child would ultimately suffer) is lovely to see.

I think you may feel differently upon seeing your child, you likeness and some parental instinct will likely kick-in. You'll know doubt want to do your best and love them unconditionally, want the best and never ever resent them. Quite the contrary: want the very best for them, and never settle for less. You'll want to protect them.

People always said I'd change my mind - I thought of them as patronising twerps. I was wrong. I'd leave the option open. Life is a funny thing and a change of mind is always a possibility. I have actually changed my mind since your age, but it may happen at any stage.

I suppose the obvious applies, in just be as careful as possible not to have unplanned pregnancies with someone you don't really love and want to be linked with forever.

Just a thought also, you may find that happiness with your own family actually enables you to erase some of the pain of the past and create a new dynamic of joy.

If thats honestly how you still would feel then in my opinion having kids would be extremely unwise.

Thats what I'm worried about.

Im replying to jxdama. I'm male and 25. So I still have time

The other worry is this

- Both of my dad's sisters and their hubbies are infertile (3/4 of them anyway).
-My sister as early as age 5 lacked maternal instinct SEVERELY. She is now 21 and a bit different. So she may not have kids either. So my family might go extinct after 70 years?

(Unless something huge changes in me or my sister)

She got homeschooled after age 13, and had a much better childhood. I'm actually jealous of her too.

The counter argument is that my second cousins who I see regularly mainly want kids. And in my family structure i kinda need to help with them. I have no paternal 1st cousins cos of above.

However like my aunts and uncles loved me cos they couldn't have kids, I may be like my own uncles , be a very good uncle by marriage to other kids, that my wife MAY have via her siblings?!

Oh btw... i dont really think having a kid to please a partner is good. So I may marry a CF lady?

AND I'm just worried about unplanned preggers in general. I'm just getting my life sorted and cannot look after kids.