nearly the end of semester again

I am back in ireland for my final year of collidge. those who follow me on chat will know i have struggled. those who dont, well i can tell you right now :rolleyes: i struggle with class, i struggle with social anxiety and i struggle with disciplining myself enough to get up when i need to.

i got my meds upped two weeks ago. i think i am feeling a difference. in a positive way. i am trying to keep my head in the game for these last few weeks of semester. i just need to get my shit together for these last few weeks. then i can break up into a million pieces over christmas and no one would be any wiser.

i finally got allocated a counsellor soon after i got my meds upped. he said he can see me for as long as i want so hopefully that means i can see him for the whole college year. i feel like i need the support.

so some good changes lately. yesterday i got up at 11am and did laods of stuff. today i screwed up again and got up at 2.30pm. but i feel more positive. i feel like its not that hard to do things anymore. i finaly started going to archery club on friday. and now that ive dipped my feet in it, it doesnt seem so hard togo again on wednesday . at least, i hope i can go. i want to socialise and be socialised. i have no friends in class so no one talks to me. my flatmates dont really talk much either. i think they keep to themselves and the one person that does talk to me more has been more distant lately. i dont know.

anyways, i told myself when i finally was able to get the updated prescirption with increased meds that it was a good thing. and that i can do anything now that i am on a higher dose and im not under the threat of being put back on the original dose. i think the meds help me be less paranoid, i feel more positivev and i dont think it was just me lol.

plus i finaly have a counsellor, and he says he wants to work with me. and hopefully next week i can see the occupational therapist. i just need to keep pushing myself to go to class. just get my shit together for these last few weeks and then i can go crazy again
keep pushing

keep pushing

keep fighting :oops:

I don't really go into chat, but I have seen a few posts about you struggling with school. I understand that. It's really stressful, and I have trouble motivating myself to do stuff sometimes too. It's really exciting that it's your final year. I'm going to be done at the end of this semester, so less than a month away for me. It's really a crazy time. Do you know what you want to do after?

I'm really happy to hear things are going better for you. Glad that your medication seems to be helping and that you have a counselor. For me counseling is really what I think helped the most in pulling me out of a depression.

Good job for making these positive changes and working towards your goal!

in the last few days i screwed up some mor. yesterday i got up at 1pm. today i got up at 6pm :/ i missed appointments both days and missed class. i dont knkow why i stayed in bed til 6pm. i just felt very blase. unmotivated. i wasnt really unhappy. i just felt like staying in bed :/ i dont know. i need to get my shit together lol

@baywasp i dont know what i want to do after. hopefully find a part time job that i can keep up with and will be able to go in day in day out without sleeping in like i do now. but we will see. i will focus on this semester first......

hugs

Good to hear you're still plugging away @bubblebear I'm pretty sure most people fumble through life until they fall into something that resonates with them, the only trick is to keep going and you seem to have that part in hand so I'm sure it'll all work out. Take care

You might find some inspiration in this article:
https://www.suicideforum.com/2018/04/30/making-tomorrow-better-by-doing-something-today/
You might need to force yourself out of bed even when it's the last dang thing you want to do, you know? Getting UP really IS going to make you feel better. Just look at your own thread here - look how you are happier with yourself when you've accomplished things. You know the answer lies within you.