Anxiety about going to uni

I don't really know what to put on here or how much I should say without anybody close to me somehow knowing it's me posting on here. I'm scared about going into uni and making this step of my life. I don't have my drivers license yet (I am not a very good driver, I understand that right now I'm still in the learning process but I still absolutely suck at it) and I don't know, I don't really feel like an adult even though technically I legally am one. I don't really think I am the type of person who vents like this (maybe I am, I don't know) but I don't know where else to go.

Sorry that you're going through this @2stepsback
If you don't leave a browser window up and clear your cache/history/etc., you'd probably be ok imho unless you have a sophisticated and invasive privacy violator.

It would be hard for anyone to ID who you are without your name and specific details about where you live, or anything that's truly unique to you. Having anxiety about Uni and not having a driver's license are pretty common things.

If venting helps you feel better, I hope you'll learn to be the type of person who vents.

Thanks. I'm just trying to collect myself for now. I'm still not a good driver but practicing whenever I can. I hope I can scrounge in a driving test sometime soon before my permit expires. I feel like I am lagging behind my peers.

You're welcome!

You may feel pressure to conform to certain standards, but that doesn't mean that you are deficient as a human being if you don't. Maybe you're "behind" in certain areas, but you may also be "ahead" in others. No matter what, those standards are superficial and don't mean much.

Thank you for your reply, I know it was awhile ago. I am in my first week of college now. I am already stressed and I wish I did not put this upon myself. I felt my original feeling of lagging behind my peers again, on Tuesday I was waiting for my ride home and a classmate of mine from high school approached me and he said I should get a car. I feel like I am being a bother to everybody around me. I feel like I am inconveniencing my dad and my brother by asking them for a ride home every day.

You're welcome!
That's ok.
There's often pressure to drive and to own a car, but really it's your own business whether you own a car or not. Not owning a car is better for the environment too. Maybe the car industry has just been really effective at manipulating people this way.

Have they said or done anything to indicate that they feel this way? Maybe there's other transportation options you could work out if they feel like it's a problem.

My dad no but today he had to pick me up while he had maybe 10-15 mins left until he had to go to work so I feel like I put extra pressure on him by asking him to pick me up when he had to go to work shortly after. My brother, whenever he picks me up, asks me about my driving progress and when I am going to get my license and when I am going to schedule my appointment. Maybe they are just innocuous questions but I feel like he is trying to tell me that it would be far more preferable for me to drive myself rather than to keep asking him or my dad for a ride.

Yeah, it does sound like your brother is putting pressure on you.

I can't blame him. Our culture is individualistic. There's a need for us to buy and own our own things. A car is no exception.

Well, it would be nice if he were a little more patient and understanding.

He has been patient so far I think, just persistent. I fear his patience will wear thin one day. I hope it doesn't come to that.

I y know but if I were your dad I would line transporting you. Give me time with my child no matter old they are. The most precious times with parents is alone in car. They might share with you and you with them.

Btw. Screw that classmate from high school. Any one who says that to anyone is a miserable person

If you find a class you like and teacher is nice yiu might think about asking to do any type of research work with them for college credit. That is usually offered in junior year. But maybe volunteer early if you have time and are interested. It would give you a connection and maybe a kind mentor in college

Thank you for your message, that sounds very sweet. My dad and I don't really talk in the car though, sadly.

He was saying it in a funny, joking way but it still made me feel bad because it made me realize that yeah, I am really behind when it comes to getting my act together and being an adult who is independent.

Yeah maybe. The first thing I want to do after all of my classes is go home, though. But this is just a me problem.

Sorry to make this thread my own personal dumping ground but i had to get this off my chest. Today I came back home from a quick driving session with my dad (I have not been driving that long per session, maybe 30 mins). I always keep messing up when I drive, I can't keep my car within the middle of the lane and I either go too fast or too slow much to the irritation of my dad. His irritation is justified because even little mistakes could end up with me in a car wreck so I understand. I come back home and my mom was kind of upset that I am learning so little because of how quick the sessions are and how everyone in my age bracket got their learning permits ages ago and they were already well on their way to getting a license and already acquired one and a car of their own.
This just sucks. I already knew I was lagging behind my peers but for my own parent to reinforce this idea just sucks too. She's right. But I'm not sure why I even bother anymore. Can't I just fail in peace? I hate this.

Hi, @2stepsback — I didn’t learn to drive until I was 28 years old. My parents would not let me learn and then I didn’t have access to a car. People learn things at different rates. Many things influence how smoothly the learning goes. It sounds like you feel stressed as soon as you are in the car — and no wonder…your parents are pressuring you and you are pressuring yourself. If we are stressed, we tend to make little mistakes. If someone jumps all over us for those little mistakes, we probably get more stressed. It becomes a cycle.

Do you need to learn to drive from your father? Would it be possible to take lessons from a driving school? (I know that’s more expensive, but it might help your parents feel less like pressuring you and you might be less stressed.) I didn’t learn well with my dad beside me in the car or my husband, but with the driving school instructor, I felt much more at ease.

I am sure you can learn to drive. I am equally sure that going through uni will be a huge growing experience for you. You can do these things!

Please don't worry. Talking about things like this is what SF is for.
Dads are often not the most capable or patient teachers. The fact that he's getting irritated may reflect more on his abilities as a teachers than yours as a student.

I agree with Acy that getting professional driving lessons might be a good investment if you can afford it.

I don't really think taking lessons from a driving school is in the cards right now. I've been driving with my dad since June so to make a change like this would be asking for too much, I think, considering all the time I've put in so far and how much I've learned with my dad. And I don't know, I think I am stressed all the time and not just from driving but from everything with life. It just sucks because my circumstances are complete ordinary and yet I'm going to a forum like this one. If anybody else were in my shoes they would be grateful for the opportunity of learning how to drive and getting a license and going to university but I hate all of it and I feel like giving up. I'm sorry my answer wasn't more helpful, I wish they were clearer.
I don't even know about the uni thing either. It's the 2nd week and I feel like dropping out but I know how greatly that would disappoint my family members so I guess I have to stick with it. For them.

I don't think my parents would be willing to expend their income on something that can be taught to me free of charge. And I don't know, I'm sure there are plenty of dads out there who are wonderful teachers and teach their sons/daughters better than anybody else but after a certain point I have to accept responsibility that I am not a very good driver and a good student to my father, either. Maybe it goes both ways?

It's hard to say without being able to make direct observations.