Who here is a caretaker?

I think I could qualify as a caretaker. I have an autistic son who is in his mid-20’s. He lives with my husband and me. He can care for himself and holds down a job but won’t be able to live on his own.

I worry about his future. We’re making a will but I do not know exactly how to plan for when my husband and I are gone. I have an idea of where I’d like him to go but I don’t know how long we’d have to wait for an open spot.

And I also worry, if one of us dies and the other one becomes incapacitated, who advocates for me and who advocates for my son? We have no family where we live and my son would not be competent to make decisions on his parents’ behalf. (I have legal guardianship of him.)

At the moment, I’m tired and not making much sense. I need to finish work (I work from home) and then take a nap!

Could you look into putting him in a group home, or some kind of foster care setting? I know they have some that specilize in autism. However, will admit to not being overly knowledgable about those specific ones in particular. While not the most ideal situation. it could be better than the alternative, or worse. What freedoms you do give up, say being forced to live under one roof with say three other adults - that is staffing 24/7. Is hopefully made up for, by the comforting fact, of not having to worry quite so much, or quite as much, about their safety. And these days: they're getting much better; by & large, in terms of advocating for the rights of those vulnerable adults whom are living in places like these. Sorry if you already know all of this... & if you were able to do some research on it, then you may be able to leave behind for him, or someone else who can help him, a blueprint for what would be needed (or necessary) in order to get started on finding placement into one of these facilities. Good luck, and I applaud you for your care & your concern, over your Son!

-he may very well not be on-board, with this idea, or notion (just, "conceptually.")

but, it's kind of like when you are getting ready to put your parents in senior (assisted) living.

Nobody, probably truly ever 'wants,' to go into there (or one of those places).

...at least, not if they can help it!

~truly, mrb.