I know someone online who uses some hotline, and they admit to recording them.... I think being emotionally involved on sites like (or others) is a problem. I might have been born in the 80s, but the things I love (music, movies, stand-up) were before my time.
I think talking about my problems constantly is another problem for me. But there's no one who I can really talk with, who knows what I know, and vice-versa.... I don't know or care about "modern society". When I see someone on a phone, or with a vape dick in their mouth, I just think, "Oh, here we go again".. I have to create some bullshit username because some people love to announce shit like, "I saw you on ______" and that's a huge thing.
I can't speak my mind/heart because everything is public. Within minutes, some people identify and recognize me, and they'll even say something like, "Well, no one on Earth likes _____ and _______ except you".. Which is why I'm posting this, and will only respond if I receive a PM (which I will only access via e-mail, because I don't want to be attached to this place, either). And then, I realize what I need is an actual physical person. I do like the category "Don't give me advice..." because they have no idea who you (or I) are, and I wanna tell people that I've exhausted everything, including myself. "Yeah, trust me, pal, don't you think I would have thought of that by the second suicide attempt?"
Maybe because I've had it rough my entire life is why I found my imagination to be helpful. And because I was watching those great old movies from Europe in the 60s (or wherever), I must be programmed, too.... Thinking I'm going to type this out, and the "woman of my dreams" is going to drop everything and help me, love me, and share a wonderful life together.
I don't see anyone. I don't leave my house. I've gone through so much shit recently that there's no rewinding. And checking for notifications constantly can't be good... And every fucking time I say "No more..." I'll see a great profile description and think, "Well the rest maybe were bullshit, but THIS one" and I'll always keep it succinct because I know we live in an ignoring society based on appearances and the new online id.. And I become even more disappointed. Striking out over and over isn't helping.
What I really hate are liars, but those who never want to help, but expect others to help... Or expect others to love you... Why would anyone love me? I'm not going to spend a thousand messages just to be ignored and become worse off.
I'm addicted to the internet because I have no where else to talk, but it's becoming too much. I'm so fucked up, I don't even like talking to guys. And I know some woman thousands of miles away is an impossibility (even if I did spend my 20s traveling the world) but for some reason, it's ...... I can't explain it. I just have too much to say and my one sentence became all this.
I think talking about my problems constantly is another problem for me. But there's no one who I can really talk with, who knows what I know, and vice-versa.... I don't know or care about "modern society". When I see someone on a phone, or with a vape dick in their mouth, I just think, "Oh, here we go again".. I have to create some bullshit username because some people love to announce shit like, "I saw you on ______" and that's a huge thing.
I can't speak my mind/heart because everything is public. Within minutes, some people identify and recognize me, and they'll even say something like, "Well, no one on Earth likes _____ and _______ except you".. Which is why I'm posting this, and will only respond if I receive a PM (which I will only access via e-mail, because I don't want to be attached to this place, either). And then, I realize what I need is an actual physical person. I do like the category "Don't give me advice..." because they have no idea who you (or I) are, and I wanna tell people that I've exhausted everything, including myself. "Yeah, trust me, pal, don't you think I would have thought of that by the second suicide attempt?"
Maybe because I've had it rough my entire life is why I found my imagination to be helpful. And because I was watching those great old movies from Europe in the 60s (or wherever), I must be programmed, too.... Thinking I'm going to type this out, and the "woman of my dreams" is going to drop everything and help me, love me, and share a wonderful life together.
I don't see anyone. I don't leave my house. I've gone through so much shit recently that there's no rewinding. And checking for notifications constantly can't be good... And every fucking time I say "No more..." I'll see a great profile description and think, "Well the rest maybe were bullshit, but THIS one" and I'll always keep it succinct because I know we live in an ignoring society based on appearances and the new online id.. And I become even more disappointed. Striking out over and over isn't helping.
What I really hate are liars, but those who never want to help, but expect others to help... Or expect others to love you... Why would anyone love me? I'm not going to spend a thousand messages just to be ignored and become worse off.
I'm addicted to the internet because I have no where else to talk, but it's becoming too much. I'm so fucked up, I don't even like talking to guys. And I know some woman thousands of miles away is an impossibility (even if I did spend my 20s traveling the world) but for some reason, it's ...... I can't explain it. I just have too much to say and my one sentence became all this.
