Venting I don’t know…

I want therapy, medication, and everything else that I’m doing to help myself, to work out in the end, but my misery just cannot wait. To have to suffer in silence for a week or two until my next available emotional outpouring is just maddening. I can’t go on endlessly taking baby steps to enrich my life when I’m persistently overwhelmed with despair and misery. I really do want to get better, but I’m at my wit’s end; I can’t shake the feeling of being completely useless, unwanted, and utterly beyond help, and I simply don’t have the patience to deal with it anymore.

We're here for you

Hopefully you can see a psychiatrist

I'm so sorry you are bogged down in these feelings right now. Sometimes the psychic pain just feels like too much to bear. I'm not sure what counts as advice, so is it okay if I reassure you that those feelings of worthlessness, though real, are a call coming from inside the house? I'd be surprised if people who knew you really thought of you like this.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope there will be a way that things can get better.

I already have a psychiatrist, and he’s a good one. There’s not much more he can do besides suggesting certain modalities and checking in once a month to see how they are working for me. Oh, and he’s moving out of state next month. Lol.

That is okay, and I appreciate it. In these moments, the entire world is confined to what’s in my head.

I refuse to bear the anguish of returning to my cell in every instance that I approach the front door of my home. I fear that my homecoming is destined to repeat this way forever.