I'm not feeling super great so if wording is poor here ask me to clarify and I will attempt to do so.
I have been a conservative politically really since about 2012. I was online involved in alot debate with libertarians and was sort of won over by that. This was before my fall down into crackpot stuff like red pill, mgtow etc.
I voted for Gary Johnson in 2016 and for trump on 2020. I regret that after January 6th for reasons that should be somewhat obvious.
I still on a lot of issues hold conservative views.
However as shit has gotten way more wild and I have made attempts at recovery I find myself a bit of a impass.
I can't legitimately tell the difference between views I hold because of background (a highly emotionally abusive and neglectful one) and what I legitimately think.
A sort of tame example is minimum wage. I find myself legitimately disgusted by people who talk about wealth inequality. Mostly because I think at least top level it's a sign of ego and entitlement...after all the rich are rich cause they are better then is?
Obviously debatable and I have zero interest in defending that position but being raised by someone who was very volatile and narcissistic it's hard not to think "well they are better at life then me therefore they are right" or "I survived therefore it isn't that bad or its a good thing' or "weak die strong survive...if we were stronger or more capable we wouldn't feel hurt" or "pressure makes diamonds...stop being a bitch man up"
You can see how any one of those things can be used to defend really crappy behavior.
On one end emotionally I'm at the level of still believing that but intellectually I want to be better cause I see parallels to problems of history that I know the end results of.
Maybe there is no answer? But I feel like putting some thoughts behind this might prevent other people from going down the rabbit hole.
I have been a conservative politically really since about 2012. I was online involved in alot debate with libertarians and was sort of won over by that. This was before my fall down into crackpot stuff like red pill, mgtow etc.
I voted for Gary Johnson in 2016 and for trump on 2020. I regret that after January 6th for reasons that should be somewhat obvious.
I still on a lot of issues hold conservative views.
However as shit has gotten way more wild and I have made attempts at recovery I find myself a bit of a impass.
I can't legitimately tell the difference between views I hold because of background (a highly emotionally abusive and neglectful one) and what I legitimately think.
A sort of tame example is minimum wage. I find myself legitimately disgusted by people who talk about wealth inequality. Mostly because I think at least top level it's a sign of ego and entitlement...after all the rich are rich cause they are better then is?
Obviously debatable and I have zero interest in defending that position but being raised by someone who was very volatile and narcissistic it's hard not to think "well they are better at life then me therefore they are right" or "I survived therefore it isn't that bad or its a good thing' or "weak die strong survive...if we were stronger or more capable we wouldn't feel hurt" or "pressure makes diamonds...stop being a bitch man up"
You can see how any one of those things can be used to defend really crappy behavior.
On one end emotionally I'm at the level of still believing that but intellectually I want to be better cause I see parallels to problems of history that I know the end results of.
Maybe there is no answer? But I feel like putting some thoughts behind this might prevent other people from going down the rabbit hole.
