FINALLY making progress!

I can't believe I haven't posted here in so long! So, an update on me: I had a summer job that was really hard physically and mentally, and since getting back to college I've been doing more doctors appointments to figure out my physical issues. I added abilify for my OCD a few months ago and started modafinil really recently for my chronic fatigue, but it's also helped a TON with my ADHD (since apparently modafinil is also an off-label ADHD med)! I have a decent amount of focus and none of the negative side effects that adderall gave me. While I still have moments of anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts/self harm urges/intrusive thoughts, I've overall been so much more "okay" than I've ever been, and it is truly such a relief. I thought I would never find meds that actually worked on me to a meaningful degree, especially after twelve years of searching. I've been able to be outside every day this week and I actually want to be outside and even socialize a little! I also started somatic therapy/started reading about polyvagal theory and bought a small red light therapy panel, and that's been pretty helpful! If you'd told me even a month ago that this much could change so quickly I would've laughed and said it wasn't possible for me to have this progress. I've worked so hard for so long to get to a point of "okay, maybe I can mostly function now and not feel absolutely terrible," and I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but... it seems like things are seriously getting better? And I kind of can't believe it.