I cried for the first time in a year last night.

I stopped taking my meds a couple weeks ago. I know that's generally a bad idea but I've been so damn numb ever since I started taking them and I really couldn't take it anymore. The thoughts I had since this started were so dark. I thought I might try to stop taking the meds and if nothing happened I might as well just kms. I was talking to a friend about everything last evening and I told him about how bad everything is. That I never get what I need. How much it hurt that I couldn't cry anymore. And then it just happened. After a whole fucking year it just happened. I started sobbing so damn loud and I bet everyone heard me but I really didn't care. I was just so glad to feel something again. And I just kept saying to myself how fucking horrible life is but I was still so glad. I can't put into words how good it felt to finally let everything out after so, so long. I'm still really far from being okay but this is a huge step for me. I know this just means I'm in the same place I was at a year ago. But it's a million times better than nothing. I'm just so glad guys.

Thank you for reading.

Hey, that's really good news!

It sounds like the meds you were taking weren't ones you could take long-term. I also worry that zero treatment wouldn't be good either.