Practical Advice So I want to live… now what?

I’m noticing a decrease in SI lately that I don’t consider myself suicidal anymore. It’s probably because of a med change that has worked for me. The only problem is that it’s short term, and I have to take it regularly to maintain the effects. Which is the same case with traditional SSRI meds, but due to short term side effects, it is a bit harder to take every day as my psychiatrist has directed.

Anyway, I now have a different problem. What the heck should I do with a life that I didn’t plan to have? I have always lived with a literal deadline on my life, but I have pushed it out every time I reach my planned final age. Therefore, I have never had a plan, direction, or any big picture goals to outline my plans for the future. I have never been prepared to live for more than a few more years.

I don’t have a purpose, but to continue living in safety, it is necessary for me to at least have some idea of what I want to accomplish before my natural death, which could be 30 years from now, or 30 minutes. Nobody can know when, but it is certain at some time. So that’s where I find myself now.

I’m looking for any advice from people who have lived through this problem. How did you figure out what to live for after treatment started to work?

FWIW, I am also talking to my therapist about this and my trusted friends.

I can tell you what I did when I knew I had a future. I tried to help others to see their future in a good way. There is so much for us to learn about ourselves and others. I read self-help books by the dozens. I read controversial subjects, both sides, and tried to understand them. People are born curious and that reared up in me and I wanted to know. Wanting to know led to help others to know if I can. My life is full and wonderful now. No turning back, no wishing for the past. Give me the future and all of what it brings. Love

It's hard for someone other than you to tell you what you can do with your life (especially as the current writer is in the same boat). If helping others will give you fulfillment, do you know what kinds of kindness you'd be good at and enjoy? Can you remember a time when you did have goals; maybe one or more of those can still be in your future. The goal doesn't have to be for a block of 30 years - or even one.