Practical Advice Why go to therapy

tw: pedophilia

I went to my college therapy center yesterday. I was basically interrogated for two hours. I get that in a huge liability but I was extremely hurt by the experience. I’m also left wondering that I can gain from therapy. Is it really worth it if I think of children 10% less. Maybe I shouldn’t look at it from a numerical perspective but I’ve lost hope. I’m also conflicted because I feel like therapy is the only way for me to get help.

Hi @In-advance

I remember you from when you were last here a few years back. You said then that you were on a waiting list for therapy - did you get to the top of the list and have therapy then?

The thoughts that you are experiencing are more common than you think and as long as you don't act on them you're doing good. I think last time we spoke about Complex-OCD. Did you look into that? If you have therapy and this is the case, it might help you to understand that what you're suffering with is an illness and not that you are a bad person. Yes, it might not get rid of the thoughts totally but therapy can lessen their impact on you.

I'm sorry you felt interrogated but this is often the case with your first session - it's important that they get a full picture and understanding of how you're feeling. They also need to assess the risk factor of you harming yourself.

Please pursue the therapy - you won't know how helpful it is until you do it.

Maybe you could voice some of your reservations with them in order to see if they can adapt & adjust? Then maybe somewhere along the way, they can "meet you in the middle..." It's maybe going to be the most feeling like an interrogation during that initial assessment period. Kind of like being thoroughly vetted by your lawyer, so that there are minimal surprises along the way. I guess they always like to know things in advance. Sometimes, at the expense of our own sanity & well-being (I'm over-stating, or emphasising, of course; just to make a point) / which is only that what you've just described as being your first experience with them, is pretty much what a lot of others would have subscribed to, too. . .

I'd agree that I think it is worth a shot, and to give it your best effort, for the risk is probably worth the reward - especially if it helps. You can decide and determine as you go how satisfied you are with the process. But generally speaking, and this is from primarily my personal experience, therapy can be a bit like mental gymnastics. And at times, verbal sparring (sessions). I'd always thought of it as, or equated it to, working out only for or with 'the mind!'

That said, with some heavy lifting, and hopefully not too much damage incurred, it can help you to overcome (over-time, you've got to have patience even in the best scenarios) some of your obstacles. Or be better prepared to handle & deal with them. At some point, if you feel there is a bad mixture with your therapist, you might be able to request a different one, just to see if someone is a better fit (for you).

I remember one of the smartest people I've ever known, telling me that when she was embarking on her pH. d at University, that it took her something like Ten Therapists in order for her to find one that she felt was acceptable. She'd told me that it was a place where she could go and express her thoughts, and herself "freely," without the fear of judgement being passed.

So anyways, I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide!