Practical Advice Was one of the big parts of my life faked?

(I hope this is the right forum and tag, if not, feel free to move it or let me know)
One of the major points in my life is the time I got sued by a teacher for hitting them. I'm of the opinion that it's faked. I was in middle school at the time, what happened is that I got in trouble for something the day before, I don't remember for what but as soon as I was going to my first class, P.E., I was stopped by one of my special ed teachers telling me I'm not doing electives today. No hello, no hi, no talking about anything, just a bitchy remark and nothing more. After a bit of arguing I had a teacher come up from that same class to lecture me about it. So as someone out of options and no way to convince him otherwise, I did what I could only do. I punched him in the face. Now keep in mind, I was a scrawny kid, very thin, had issues eating outside of this, I wasn't gonna die, but I wasn't by any means strong. This teacher was the stereotypical older sorta fat Latino (I'm Latina, I can say it). My fist practically bounced off his face with very little recoil on his end, like a bullet hitting Superman, did practically nothing. Yet he decided to pin me against a metal railing by the cafeteria line and yell at me for deservedly hitting him. Later, still restraining me, he took me to the principal's office where conveniently the campus officer was there. I was told to sit in the office chair and they just all kept yelling at me. When I attempted to get up, the officer took out his pepper spray and began to shake it as if he was going to spray me. This prompted me to sit back down. I endured this yelling for a bunch and just had to take it, after a bit they called my parents to pick me up. So at that point I was just waiting to be punished. After awhile instead of her just picking me up myself, my parents had my grandfather, the person I respected the MOST at that time pick me up. It embarrassed me and made me utterly shameful. Afterwards I was driven to my grandparents house to wait for my mom to pick me up. When she did arrive however, instead of just taking me home, grounding me for a few days and it being finally said and done. She took me to the guest bedroom (a quiet place to talk), opened a recording app on her phone and just asked me questions about what just happened and to recount the events. She opened the recording with some statement, I don't remember what it was but it was like it was some "mission log" preface you see in media but instead for legal stuff? I don't know, it was weird. Point is, from this day on, my parents told me that the teacher in question was pressing charges on me. Though for someone who actively was in a lawsuit, I was very uninvolved outside of my mom enforcing the fact that I was in a lawsuit. The only "evidence" I had for it happening was two things. One was a supposed business card from my lawyer. The other was me going to a courtroom. The courtroom however looked not much like a courtroom. Courtrooms are usually mahogany brown, not office gray. All I did there was wait my turn, answer the judges two questions of "Do you know what you did?" and "Do you understand what you did was wrong?" and then leave. I answered yes to both because obviously why would I say "I'll fucking do it again" to a judge? Plus I felt genuinely guilty (I don't anymore, the teachers there sucked). Months passed of nothing combined with more "enforcing the fact that you're being sued" and eventually I heard my mom joyfully yell "HOLY SHIT!" over the phone. After she was done I asked what happened and she said the charges were dropped. I was relieved that it was finally over. However as an adult, and as someone who has seen lawsuits happen in regards to YT drama (not naming names but I'm sure some of you know the big ones) plus me watching some internet related True Crime content I've realized a lot of what happened in that era felt... off. Firstly it seemed pretty odd that 2 teachers from that class just so happened to be standing in place in the cafeteria during what had happened. Not doing anything. Just standing there. No checking on other students, no eating breakfast, not even looking at their phones or talking. Just standing there. In the same path I take to go to my first class. If they wanted to naturally wait for me, wouldn't they wait at the front door? Wouldn't they have told me this punishment before the next day started or call my parents first? Secondly, "no electives" seems like a pretty weird punishment. Yeah electives aren't required but they're still classes that I need to take. My grades were never good due to missing assignments. So why would a teacher want to make my grades worse by taking me out of classes to "punish" me? If anything this sounds like a punishment ChatGPT would come up with. (This was pre-AI obviously, I'm 24 now) Now I always had an issue with hitting, ever since I was a kid and this lasted til this "lawsuit" finished. This was the thing that made me not hit anymore. So it's not out of the question that they would try to put me in a position to get me to hit them. Afterwards it seemed really weird how the campus officer was just conveniently sitting outside the door to the principal's office on his phone waiting for me. If school just started, shouldn't he be watching the more populated areas of the cafeteria or hallways? Also, if I was in legal trouble, why wouldn't they just arrest me on the spot instead of doing this long winded "press charges" thing? Why didn't he say just to have me arrested? I wasn't even put in handcuffs. Not to mention why would a potential lawsuit be pressed so quickly? Don't you have to call a lawyer and mail a letter to the person in question for that to happen? Also the recording of the conversation on a phone seems odd. We live in a world where Judge Judy still reads text conversations on printed paper, wouldn't it be more ideal to use something more analogue given the circumstances of that alone? (No I didn't see Judge Judy, just an example of how I've seen these things go) And why was I so "out of the picture" for this supposed lawsuit. Not to mention I never once saw this lawyer in person, and if I did I sure as hell didn't remember it. This might seem farfetched, however my mom was (and probably still is) in a high place in the special needs/autism focused branch of the school system. Meaning she potentially has the power to orcestrate such an event. Also despite trying to sue me, the teacher was seemingly nice to me after the fact, as if nothing was going on. If he was suing me wouldn't he either just not talk to me or take a vacation or something? It really feels like this was one big event, followed by a smaller event, and a bunch of waiting until I seemingly "learned my lesson" and finally drop the subject entirely. If it's a lie, I hate that it worked, I would rather be told the truth than be "taught a lesson". Combined with the fact that my mom was responsible for calling APS on me because my grandmother's "house was dirty" and I was dirty (she was never my legal guardian, as stated I'm 24.) So I ask to the more legally knowledgeable amongst you, was this staged? Could it have been staged? And if so or not, what really happened? Because I sure as hell don't know anymore.

I don't think your mom staged this. It may be that because they knew that you had a history of hitting, and because your mom had some position regarding how special needs students were handled, that they were afraid of getting a lawsuit from her.

So maybe their thinking was, "We want to discipline this kid, but we know they will likely get violent, and we want to stop them from being violent. We also know that the mom might file some complaint or file a law suit, so what do we do?"

It could be that by filing a law suit, and by being sure to file it immediately (faster than a suit could be filed against them) it wouldn't look like a retaliatory action, and that any suit filed against them would therefor look retaliatory.

So I think maybe what happened was that they wanted to discipline you, they anticipated that you'd get violent, and they also anticipated that they might get sued for how they handled you. So they just planned things out carefully to make sure their asses were covered, and after it became clear their asses were covered, they dropped the suit.

I'm not claiming to be a legal expert, but that's my impression of what might have happened.

I mean by restraining me, they didn't do anything illegal. Plus that doesn't account for the other stuff that just happened to line up.

I'm not sure what you mean here. I think they were probably careful to make sure what they did was legally defensible. It might not have been good, fair, etc., but probably within what they could legally get away with. Like maybe if you had a video recording of what happened, you'd have been able to take some legal action, but not otherwise.

What other stuff? Your mom was probably interviewing you with a recorder because she was planning to file a suit against them.

I'm not really sure either way. Some of the details you laid out sound a bit too convenient to be a real situation, but at the same time, i've heard of some weird behaviour/legal proceedings. I wish i could lean in one direction or the other, but i don't have the certainty to. But i just wanted to weigh in to mention that i find it really telling that's a question you even need to ask yourself. Like, i get some intrusive thoughts in the back of my head, but i've never had to seriously question if my parents staged some elaborate panto to try and change my behaviour. They just tried to talk things out with me until i saw reason, because they respected my personhood and capacity for reflection, for the most part anyway.

To me, while i can understand the importance of questioning if a major life event even really happened or not, it feels like the more important thing is how toxic an environment you came from that that's even a somewhat plausible possibility you have to consider. Like, this may just be me, but it seems as if whatever the reality of the situation may be, the ultimate conclusion is that your parents sound like they've had a really damaging influence on your feelings about yourself and others. That has to make trusting people really difficult. I feel for you, and it's not surprising you kept lashing out in anger under those conditions.

I meant they wouldn't file a lawsuit "just in case" if what they did was legally okay.
The teacher was the one to fire a lawsuit though, my parents nor did I want to be sued.
Oh trust me, I do NOT like my mother and she's the exact one to do something like this and make up lies to save her skin or get me back with her. If it's telling on anyone, it's her. In fact I regret learning this "lesson" because now I'm too much of a wimp to confront someone with my fists. I wish I could reverse the lesson she taught me and just go back to punching people who piss me off.

I'm in total agreement. Don't get me wrong, when i said it's telling, i very much meant it's telling on your mother that she's got you to the point you're having to ask yourself this.

It's funny how much you remind me of myself. It wasn't my parents who made me like that, but other authority figures and my peers growing up. I eventually also became a "wimp" who refused to punch people, after being out of control for so long, and i actually got made into an abuser's lapdog for 12 years, cos i went from the fight response to fawn. In trying to unlearn it, i became somebody who tried to mentally punch people with my personality and appearance instead. Lots of punk and metal, and abrasive behaviours/fashion choices. I think i literally described my fashion sense and appearance as "homeless Ukrainian hitman"

I dunno though, it was lonely in a way. I didn't trust anybody, i felt like everyone was always lying and trying to play me, and my attempts to push people away worked too well, yknow? Vulnerability is hard, and scary, especially when you've been conditioned to feel like people just exploit that vulnerability if you give them a chance. But it's so much nicer, just being open with people. It means putting my past behind me, not letting it control me any more, but also carrying some of the healthier lessons i learned from it. It's a tricky balance to attain. If this is part of your process to try and do that, i respect it, and i wish you luck, i really hope it helps, even if my "thoughts and prayers" might not be what you're looking for exactly.

Yeah idk why my parents couldn't just keep grounding me or find some non-lie way to get me to stop hitting.

Seriously. Like i say, it feels like whether or not this event you described was a fiction cooked up by your mum, the overall approach she decided to take with you was basically guaranteed to create trust issues. I wish they could've found a way to reach you that didn't involve manipulation, because i think it's always possible when a parent is willing to try, and cares about their child's mental wellbeing. They needed to meet you where you were at, and address the root cause of the violence, not try to control you, and trick you with fake consequences.

They knew the root cause, anger, and the unreasonable expectations of others. So even less of an excuse to orchestrate this fake situation

Something I just thought of, I can't edit the post to mention it though. There's also the amount of money that goes into a lawyer that one teacher can't afford. Wouldn't it be not worth it in the long run?

Y'know, now that I know all of what happened was likely faked, I have the confidence to actually punch people who deserve it now. I mean who's gonna sue if I just punch and run? Just gotta keep it to that, one hit and run away.

I’m not here to provide legal advice, but I can’t see any situation where a teacher has the right to sue a student. Lawsuits are civil, as opposed to criminal, and assault is a criminal matter.

A minor does not have the ability to enter into contracts, nor is there a responsibility of the child to accommodate the needs of the adult, in fact, an adult treating a child this way is abuse. Therefore, I don’t think it’s possible.

As an adult, things are less forgiving, but a lawsuit involving physical injury will be a claim of negligence (driving carelessly, or failing to reasonably restrain an aggressive dog, for example) as opposed to assault. Punching someone in the face amounts to a criminal violation.

I am concerned that you mentioned punching someone in the face who deserves it. Aside from moral considerations about violence, if you make it a habit, you will either end up meeting someone who punches back, and/or someone who will press charges.

I mean if nothing really happened last time then why would something happen now? This was the incident that made me learn not to hit, and if it's a lie, shouldn't it be only fair to unlearn it?

In what fucking country are you living? Time to think to move (as soon as possible) and until then - shut up. Play your role and do what is asked - and keep the rest in your head.
Not a lot more you can do.

USA. I mean the lawsuit has long been over now so... I don't see the urgency

Not really. There are two ways that I know of to gain wisdom. We can learn from our own mistakes. It’s said that good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment. The other way is learn from the mistakes of others.

The question of whether you should go around hitting people doesn’t depend on your personal experience, but rather what the consequences of doing so are. Setting aside moral considerations, it’s not an effective strategy unless you really want to be hit back, or to be charged with criminal assault. It’s simply not realistic to expect to be able to hurt someone and not face retaliation in some way.

I'm going to be quite blunt here:
FFS - No, assaulting people is not a good strategy.

The last time I interacted with you , you also had difficulty
accepting the consequences of and taking responsibility for your actions.
You really need to work on this.

I've seen a lot of crime stuff in True Crime content and I've learned some people just don't take action if the suit wouldn't be worth it in the end. The reason people sue for this kind of thing all boils down to money anyways, hospital bills, funeral costs, but a quick punch to the face and running isn't gonna send someone to the ER nor is it gonna kill them. I'm not that strong.
I had to check to see what you were referring to and I really don't like the victim blaming attitude that's going on but I'm not gonna argue it because people who didn't view the thread you replied under as politically correct intentionally argued so that the topic would be banned by mods and I'm not gonna let that happen here.

I feel like the tone has become needlessly accusatory in here, yeah. Let's all try to keep in mind that we want what's best for everyone here, and you generally catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

I unfortunately do have to agree with the consensus that hitting people is generally a bad idea though AnHero. One thing i've come to understand as i've gotten older is just how dangerous it can be. You don't have to be particularly strong, cos all it takes is for the punch to land weird, or the person to fall weird, and that's it for them. Now you're dealing with manslaughter charges, and carrying the weight of that the rest of your life. It's a tale you see play out a lot in pubs in this country. We like to tell ourselves people are sturdier than that, that you'd have to be going in with intent to kill to create any realistic risk. But the reality is that the human body is flawed, so it's one badly-placed impact of moderate force away from failure at any given moment.

And yeah, that's leaving aside the more likely possibility that they'll punch back or file a lawsuit, cos they will be trying to track you down for that.