my mom's sending me to rehab. idk what to do

hi all If you don't know me, my name is Ariana and i'm 17. I have used marijuana since I was 15 on and off. I used mostly for special occasions(party, social gathering) with friends. I started to use on my own at 16, and I would mostly use it for nights I couldn't sleep because it would help me sleep. When my mom found out, she was not happy ofc and she was telling me how much of an addict I am. Well, I still use on and off and she thinks its a problem. It did develop into a problem last summer, when I would use everyday, multiple times a day to feel numb to pain. When she found it in my room, she called the cops and I got charged with possession of paraphernalia under 21. I thought that was interesting, but thats besides the point. Now, since November, I was clean until late january. I stopped using to 'cope' with problems, but an event happened and it caused me to become stressed. So I used, I didn't buy anything (which I used to steal money to buy a cartridge) but I borrowed a friends. I used for a couple days, and then my mom found out. She's now sending me to rehab, she called me an addict and said that I have a serious problem. I don't believe I do. My grades are better than last year, I have been really focusing on doing good in school, as it is important to me. I also have been doing theater, which I love. I told her I don't believe I have a problem, and while yes I did have it in her home, I wasn't planning on keeping forever. I also did admit that I was using it to help me sleep, as I believed the stress that I was under at the time made me not sleep. She told me I could have used other resources instead of resorting to weed and that's how she knows I have a problem. Now shes making me go to rehab, and I genuinely don't believe I belong in a rehab. I told her how much this would disrupt my life, and that it may pull me behind in school. Along with that, knowing I'm going to a rehab gives me so much anxiety, I couldn't stop crying and I had a panic attack when she told me last night. Now I have to research and find a rehab to go to. I'm going thru a really tough time. Am I crazy for saying I don't belong in a rehab??

No. Most rehabs are scams. They just preach 12-step concepts at you for 4 weeks as if hearing the right thing is somehow going to make you better. Then they charge insurance $30k even though the staffers are paid less than someone pushing a broom at wal-mart. Which means they couldn’t get a better job than spouting doctrine to people who aren’t ready to hear it.

This is not to say 12 step programs aren’t valid, in fact I have used it myself and gotten a lot of benefit from it. But there are a few problems with trying to get that in a month of being locked up in a facility. First, you can go to meetings for free. The main thing that helped me was sharing my “stuff” with people who understand.

Second, a crash course in what someone else used may not be appropriate for you. There are other programs such as SMART Recovery, which is CBT based, but is mostly online over Zoom.

Third, your family medical insurance will not cover rehab unless you are having a physical problem, such as liver damage from drinking too much. If your mom wants you to go to rehab but your lab tests don’t show physical damage, it’s likely that she will be paying entirely out of pocket. Based on what you said, it is unlikely that rehab is medically necessary.

The good reasons to go to rehab are that you will be interacting closely with other patients and that forms a peer support system that is healing.

You will also be unable to obtain your desired substance(s) for long enough to learn how to do daily life without it. An inpatient program will have some significant stressors, and this can be a way to practice coping skills and getting to sleep without resorting to drugs.

There is usually a doctor/pdoc onsite who can help with w/d symptoms if needed, and help find out if meds are appropriate and/or if changing meds is indicated.

In summary, it doesn’t look like inpatient treatment is necessary for your pattern of use. There are other treatment options that are less intensive, such as working with a therapist who specializes in addiction treatment, and escalating to intensive outpatient (IOP) if that’s not enough.

The way that I would go if I had to do it again is to go to rehab only after less intensive care has failed.

I'm sorry this is happening. In principle, if you might be able to convince your mom that a therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist should be the one to decided what kind of treatment, if any, you need.

Mum was 17 as well once, I'd bet a pound to a dollar she was aware of weed at that age, might have even smoked it herself or watched friends smoke it and veg out for days afterwards.




You seem pretty smart, your mum doesn't sound like she's going to get off your back with this, use the things you love like theatre to stay focused, for a sleep aid try melatonin.
Life is never stress free, and rehab will only prove that you was right and didn't need to be there, but it's your mum you've got to convince not anybody else.

Take care!

I just remembered something re: cannabis use to get to sleep. THC suppresses REM sleep. This is bad because that’s when your brain organizes and stores learned information. Not only memories, but also anything learned from reading/studying.

This is why quitting weed is associated with insomnia and vivid dreams. The w/d symptoms of a given substance tend to be the exact opposite of the drug’s effects.

Not sure about how it works with minors, but I have a friend that is an admissions counselor at a rehab facility. Based on the above, I would find it unlikely that a reputable place would admit you on an inpatient level, let alone get insurance to go along with it.

Yeah, my psychiatrist was mostly recommending rehab meetings, but theres not many in town. So that's the hard part. my mom still hasnt decided on rehab or options. so i have decided to stop to show her im not relying on it to cope with my issues.

Thank you! my mom hasnt decided yet however my psychiatrist recommended just rehab meetings, and its hard to find some in town. I have always had sleep problems, so you can probably imagine the amount of things ive tried to help me sleep(including melatonin) however i have stopped to prove her wrong that i CAN live without it.

That's good

If you're not using, then there's really no reason why you'd need to go to rehab.

I'm sorry it's like that. I could try to make some recommendations about treatment methods if you'd like, but it's also ok if you don't want that.

The problem is that the majority of rehabs are not reputable. The business of substance abuse “treatment” is enormously profitable, given that they charge $30-$60k per month, and yet the only thing they provide is detox and psycho-education. Luckily, my rehab did have an amazing counselor who helped me and the rest of us get actual practice with managing emotions sober. I mean, he was seriously good, and was one of us so he related.

The management, though was UHS, and after a nightmare experience with another facility of theirs, I am convinced they are nothing but blood sucking leeches who consider their patients as nothing more than a line item on their income statement. It’s flat out luck of the draw that determines the value of your treatment, and the odds are not in favor of the patient.

I second this even as someone who has been through a reasonably decent program. It was a waste of time for me ultimately. I don't regret it but it sounds like you have a parent trying to scare you more then anything.

If you wanna take a wack at trying to get ahead of this stuff try to find some online smart recovery meetings. They don't do religion under a different name like AA or NA and really just try to hammer creating better habits

So much great advice here!
Is there some kind of online group you could join? It's bound to be cheaper than rehab and you won't have to miss school.
In any case, good luck, Arianna.

@k4waii.ari - I hope this works. It’s intended to be a search over all SMART recovery meetings that are online. You can adjust the filters to find in-person meetings in your area. HTH - also, this is only FYI - your needs may differ from what they offer.

https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings/?program=2&audiences=&meetingType=1&datetime_nextmeeting=&languages=&location=——-&coordinates=

True, but it is likely those places are out-of-pocket and how much would this parent be willing to shell out it what seems to be largely to prove point?

Yes, good point. I am sorry I was so dramatic. I was not in a good place, and I think going forward I need to be read-only in that state.

I don't think you were dramatic at all. Those places do exist and someone would be right to be wary of them. However, in this particular case, I think it's an empty threat and I don't want someone to worry unduely. In any case, if Kawaii is cutting back/quitting, I think that's a good thing.