Venting I cant feel good about myself at all unless my personality is a certain way

I don't daydream enough, im too grounded in reality.
I am far too emotional.
I leave the house everyday, otherwise I get bored.
I am energised by speaking to people.
I am overly sensitive, cowardly, puritanical, meanwhile everyone else isn't.
I care too much about what others think.
I am so jealous of people that are the opposite of that more than I am. It's tied so much into my self-worth, my gender dysphoria and eating disorder is also connected.

even someone including somehting on a post "wgaf" an act of non-simlikeness that i failed to come up with myself makes me feel miserable

all i do is ride my bike, travel for no reason, imagining uncomfortable scenarios, and mindless internet browsing. and sleeping, and doing drugs (but more for pointlessly "introspective" purposes).

MAKE ME LESS ESFJ 2W3
INTO PERSONALITY CHANGE BRAIN SURGERY CLINIC OPERATING THEATRE ESFJ 2W3 FAT GIRL GOES, SHE GETS SURGERY ON HER BRAIN TO BECOME ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT

Its tied so much into my self worth, my eating disorder and gender dysphoria plpay a ole.

It's great that you get out of the house and ride your bike. It's good for your mental and physical health. Boredom is annoying, but also healthy: it means you have an active mind. Many people would envy your ability to be energised by interacting with others. Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you ought to find something creative to do to channel all that energy and intelligence into.

I get what youre coming from with the "envy" component but thats not the point, its like being more introverted is part of my identtiy, my self-worth (and therefore ability to feel good about myself) is tied so much into my cognition

Do you have any idea why you have an identity (an ideal identity?) that, by your own account, is so very different from your reality? Your reality doesn't sound objectively bad, though of course I understand that it is very much NOT the reality you want.

I don't know why exactly, just the cocktail of autism, gender dysphoria, societal standards for gender, etc.

What even is "your reality, although not objectively bad" you specified?

Well, it seems as if there are two "yous" - the "you" you identify as, a tall, skinny, lanky, laid-back, intellectual, introverted teen boy who is logical rather than emotional; and the other "you" whom you describe to us, a shorter, rounder, extroverted, energetic, emotional young woman. You seem to think you are perceived as this young woman by everyone you meet, when you want to be perceived as the boy you identify as.

So what I'm saying is that there's nothing objectively bad about being emotional, extroverted, female, and fat. Plenty of women who fit that description live happy, fulfilled lives. There are some trans woman who would love to be that person. So it's not an objectively bad existence, but it is not the existence you desire for yourself.