Empathy and Advice Welcomed NO ONR TAKES ME SERIOUSLY. AT ALL.

I was assigned female at birth but I identify as male. I have autism and CPTSD.

My real type is ESFJ 4w3 RLOEN drama queen primadonnia cries very loud loves eating food naive mentally stuck in 20th century red flushed cheeks religious superstitious severely autistic but my "type identity" (how I wish to be, the identity I like to have in order to feel happy) is INTP 5w6 593 cynical sarcastic surreal chaotic silly nihilist dark humour dissociative tall pale skinny Russian young man.
The more ideal self I feel the way better I feel and the more anti self I feel the more miserable I feel.

No one believes me at all when I say I am an asexual transgender male with autism. I get told to "get a boyfriend", and as a transtypal person it is very upsetting (I know any type can have or want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but you get where I am coming from) and leaves me in tears or on the verge of tears every day.

I was desperately looking forward for a trip out but my day was ruined when I got misgendered on the bus, and to make matters worse people are getting my typenouns wrong by thinking that I am over-reacting by complaining of being misgendered. I was crying in public, simultaneously feeling pathetic and type-dysphoric about that because it is not ideal self.

It is not the first example of its kind, all of the time I am subject to all kinds of misgendering, sexual harrassment, fat shaming, infantilisation, and ghosting or being made fun of if not overall mistreatment by folk judged to be more "ideal self".

I long for brain surgery so much. I really wish there were medical procedures that could alter a person's brain, making their personality behaviour attitudes psyche exactly how they want.

i hate my personality so much
But all my typegender posts on reddit get downvoted

it’s a common experience for people who don’t feel they relate to their bodies to not relate to how others perceive them.
I know you’re going through a lot with your mental illnesses right now. I know you feel you’re coming from a serious place. if there’s anything I can do let me know

I don't know if this is something you want or need to hear, but you write very well. You're highly articulate. You convey your reality, and the issues you're struggling, with real power.

I’m reading that, in addition to your dissatisfaction with your identity, you feel disturbed when someone treats you differently than you would prefer. Is that accurate?

Yes

I get intense, unbearable, identity dysphoria from being "oversharing, lashing out and getting reactive"

All kinds of character traits mean so much to my self worth

I identify as transtypal, but no one takes my typegender seriously, which makes the pain even worse

Im constsntly hypervigilant if people are misgendering me, fatshaming me, infantilising me

I just want to be a tall pale skinny emotionally unavailable young man with fluffy hair so much. Its part of my identity. The more i feel like that, the more I am like that, the happier i feel.

I get bullies for being too anti-self, and traumatised by it.

Well, you tagged this thread as Empathy and Advice Welcome. In that spirit, I can offer what helped me.

For background, I had to learn the hard way that I cannot control others’ behavior, even towards me.

The first thing I had to learn was that almost all people were just thinking about themselves and not concerned with my situation, even if I told them. In fairness, I was not doing that for them, either.

I was going to type up more, but it is a bit much. In that context, I want to verify that you are interested. It basically comes down to two things: What others think about me is none of my business, and I can’t control their behavior, but I can control my reaction. Does any of that resonate for you?

Oh, btw the learning curve for me was very steep/difficult in the beginning, but once I learned how to use the CBT tools I got from my therapist, it was pretty easy. I do forget from time to time and I have to go back and practice again, but at least I know I can do it.