I was beginning to be more active, pull myself together, starting to feel like a person and not a robot. You know? It felt good to go outside again and just enjoy spring.
First of April I was told my brother was in the hospital so I tried to find out why and what's wrong and it turns out he took some stupid things and they had to induce him into a coma.
Myself and his teenage daughter looked after his dog and house and bills together while we figured out what was happening. I phoned my mum and told her about what was going on, she wasn't well either, looked like the last time she had blood poisoning so I told her to go to the hospital but I had family coming down to visit my brother and maybe I had to be involved maybe I didn't I donno but I did tell my mum to get help. I don't drive and she lives a good bit away so I thought she would get someone else to drive her in that day or the next.
Couple days later I hear nothing so I called and called and nothing and so I phoned the police for a welfare check and she was fine. They told me she refused help so they left. Another day and I get so angry she can talk to the police but not me and I got a lift to go see her. Lights were on in the middle of the day and curtain open and doors locked so I decided there and then I am getting in that house one was or the other. I broke a window latch and me and my niece climbed in. She was on the floor. She could barely talk. Got her an ambulance and got her into hospital after having a drill in her arm as they couldn't get intravenous with her sever dehydration.
I had to wait behind because I had to take her dogs back to mine and bath then, they were sickly I don't think she was able to care for them much while she has been ill and I don't think she's been admitting just how ill she was. At the hospital they told me she had something called cold sepsis and that she was very sick but there was every chance of recovering. I did get asked about a DNR but I didn't sign it that evening.
I got a phone call at like 4am to say that she had gone into multiple organ failure and it would be best if people came to say goodbye.
I phoned around my niece and my sister and we went up to see her. She died the moment we arrived at the hospital. I chose to see her body. I had to talk to her gone or not. I wanted to tell her how stupid she was. How much I loved her.
Anyway now starts all these funeral arrangements it felt like a whirlwind of planning and meetings and paperwork and I began the task of letting people know and figuring out her finances which was really bad she had a lot of debt and her house was really bad too.
Because I brought her dogs home with me my old girl 15 years old was too stressed and making herself ill and we had to make the decision to put her down before she suffered and my son was so upset. Losing his gran was one thing and now we lost the dog. I've been taking it slowly with him because kids handle loss so much differently.
Between dealing with all of that somebody broke into my mum's house and stole a bunch of her jewellery and things and I had to do police reports and go through a list of stolen bits so the debt folk don't think I am taking for myself.
I thought that once the funeral was over and currently renting vans and storage to move things from her house and taking care of all the financial stuff. I thought that was it. I can breath. I let myself grieve properly for the first time. My kid joined in it was years worth of tears I never cried and he let his frustration out. My neighbour called the police on me. They treated me like I was abusing my son, they are contacting social services to do a full comprehensive check. I was just so confused and hurt and tired. I still am.
I feel like I am not allowed to do what everyone else can. The thing that I need. That my kid needs.
For the record my brother woke up the day my mum died and at first we couldn't tell him for his own mental state but he does know now and is currently in a rehab facility.
I don't really know how to end this so I guess I will say that I haven't given up. It's been a shit show but I will fight this next one as well and whatever else life wants to throw down with.
First of April I was told my brother was in the hospital so I tried to find out why and what's wrong and it turns out he took some stupid things and they had to induce him into a coma.
Myself and his teenage daughter looked after his dog and house and bills together while we figured out what was happening. I phoned my mum and told her about what was going on, she wasn't well either, looked like the last time she had blood poisoning so I told her to go to the hospital but I had family coming down to visit my brother and maybe I had to be involved maybe I didn't I donno but I did tell my mum to get help. I don't drive and she lives a good bit away so I thought she would get someone else to drive her in that day or the next.
Couple days later I hear nothing so I called and called and nothing and so I phoned the police for a welfare check and she was fine. They told me she refused help so they left. Another day and I get so angry she can talk to the police but not me and I got a lift to go see her. Lights were on in the middle of the day and curtain open and doors locked so I decided there and then I am getting in that house one was or the other. I broke a window latch and me and my niece climbed in. She was on the floor. She could barely talk. Got her an ambulance and got her into hospital after having a drill in her arm as they couldn't get intravenous with her sever dehydration.
I had to wait behind because I had to take her dogs back to mine and bath then, they were sickly I don't think she was able to care for them much while she has been ill and I don't think she's been admitting just how ill she was. At the hospital they told me she had something called cold sepsis and that she was very sick but there was every chance of recovering. I did get asked about a DNR but I didn't sign it that evening.
I got a phone call at like 4am to say that she had gone into multiple organ failure and it would be best if people came to say goodbye.
I phoned around my niece and my sister and we went up to see her. She died the moment we arrived at the hospital. I chose to see her body. I had to talk to her gone or not. I wanted to tell her how stupid she was. How much I loved her.
Anyway now starts all these funeral arrangements it felt like a whirlwind of planning and meetings and paperwork and I began the task of letting people know and figuring out her finances which was really bad she had a lot of debt and her house was really bad too.
Because I brought her dogs home with me my old girl 15 years old was too stressed and making herself ill and we had to make the decision to put her down before she suffered and my son was so upset. Losing his gran was one thing and now we lost the dog. I've been taking it slowly with him because kids handle loss so much differently.
Between dealing with all of that somebody broke into my mum's house and stole a bunch of her jewellery and things and I had to do police reports and go through a list of stolen bits so the debt folk don't think I am taking for myself.
I thought that once the funeral was over and currently renting vans and storage to move things from her house and taking care of all the financial stuff. I thought that was it. I can breath. I let myself grieve properly for the first time. My kid joined in it was years worth of tears I never cried and he let his frustration out. My neighbour called the police on me. They treated me like I was abusing my son, they are contacting social services to do a full comprehensive check. I was just so confused and hurt and tired. I still am.
I feel like I am not allowed to do what everyone else can. The thing that I need. That my kid needs.
For the record my brother woke up the day my mum died and at first we couldn't tell him for his own mental state but he does know now and is currently in a rehab facility.
I don't really know how to end this so I guess I will say that I haven't given up. It's been a shit show but I will fight this next one as well and whatever else life wants to throw down with.
