am an asexual transgender male with autism and cptsd that has experienced way too much invalidation. My mental health spiralled autumn last year when my youtube channel, now deleted, got comments such as "get a boyfriend" "nah you're not asexual transgender male with autism", and a recurring commenter attacking all of my insecurities. on top of that, I feel uneasy leaving the house because members of the public recognise me and ridicule me for being dramatic, hysterical, attention-seeking - which as an emotionally unavailable-identifying typegender person, hurts more than anything. they also sexualise me, which again, as an asexual, is also very upsetting. as I write this, I am starting to think: do I still pass as the kind of male I want to be, internet mental health forums as a whole? do my posts pass as overly dramatic, stupid, trolling, or are they intelligible and serious enough?
anyway
since a very young age I have felt dysphoria over my own cognition analogous to a transgender person feeling gender dysphoria. if "gender dysphoria" could be defined as "distress caused by the mismatch between one's biological sex and one's sense of gender identity", then "type dysphoria" (also known as "brain dysphoria") could be defined as "distress caused by the mismatch between one's natural cognitive, behavioural and personality patterns and one's sense of identity (a.k.a their "typedentity")". it's like gender dysphoria's cousin - what both have in common is distress at one's self, the former over personality and cognition (or one's "type" or otherwise "vibes") the latter gender identity. normal individuals have a typedentity more aligned with who they really are, whereas transtypal individuals experience a painful divide between their typedentity and their actual cognition and behaviour.
I pine to be properly aligned with myself. I hate the way I speak, write, dress, behave, seek pleasure, cope with pain, process reality, etc and so forth because it is so untypical of my typedentity. it hurts more than anything when I look at youtube to download music but my feed is filled with triggering content, posts that were made by people that are my Ideal Self way more than I am. This is not just because I am "insecure", this is more because I feel deeply inherently dysphoric about everything about myself and I really want to become a different person entirely, and a lot of the time I am too brain-dysphoric to function.
Very ideally and unrealistically, I wish there was some kind of typegender transition clinic where clients receive life-changing neuro-treatment (so many transtypal suicides would be saved).
I feel very upset at behaving, or being perceived as, any of these things: childish, irresponsible, clingy, attention-seeking, greedy, sensual, irrational, fake and shallow, sexualised, dramatic, emotionally reactive, spontaneous and impulsive, hysterical, aggressive, self-revealing, law-abiding, materialistic
I want to be an emotionally unavailable skinny lanky pale skinned dissociated niche minimalistic gamer artist horror fan skater so so so so badly. too many deviations from this ideal make me feel despair.
a few examples of what triggers MY brain dysphoria:
being told "okay"
acting without thinking
strangers talking to me
cashiers asking me "is that all?" when I am buying next to nothing
comparing what I write while venting with other people complaining about their unpleasant experiences, and theirs is way more concise/intellectualised in comparison
brain dysphoria is not limited to gender dysphoria or type dysphoria. it's more of a vague combination of both, or neither at all. it doesn't matter if a stranger is male or female, old or young, or how much they weigh. noticing anyone at all exhibit traits such as apathy, detachment or dissociation more than I do is extremely triggering. i want to put this because i really want to stress that I am NOT being sexist or exhibiting internalised misogyny by assuming all men are stoic and all women are overly emotional - it's more my subjective standards as to what I base my self worth on.
examples of very hurtful things strangers have done or said to me that triggered my brain dysphoria
on the metro, some aggressive person yelled at me "you haven't been what i've been through"
i once went to emergency room for mental health problems. when i went outside for a smoke, someone i was familiar with got my attention. "Are you okay?" "Yes" "No you're not, I had to..."
i do not feel safe in my own neighbourhood. little kids call me "Scary Mary" and it hurts more than anything. they scream at me to imitate me and they try to frighten me on purpose - which is particularly upsetting because I typedentify as unreactive and unemotional.
this particular location I avoid like the plague. because I've had to put up with people shoving female deodorant and women's art club leaflets in my face randomly, or I once got off a bus and this person said to me "I like your hat. I'm autistic too, a bit awkward"
------------------------------------
typegender: an experience of identity in which one's internal sense of identity or self-worth is closely aligned with a specific typology or cognitive orientation, or loose set of various ones. dysphoria occurs when behaviour contradicts that identity.
typedentity: a significanlty felt sense of identity based on being a kind of trope or type. this identity feels just as vital and sacred as gender identity, hence violations of which cause significant emotional pain, distress, or shame.
typenouns: any kind of labels a typegender person uses to describe their typedentity. others recognising or invalidating one's typenouns feels similar to "passing", or misgendering, respectively.
typealignment: the state of being in alignment with one's ideal self, leading to euphoria, clarity, comfort and self-cohesion. this is similar to gender euphoria.
typal dysphoria / brain dysphoria: psychological discomfort, shame or dysphoria caused by behaving in ways inconsistent with one's typedentity. could also be described as your mind betraying your own identity.
typenaturalism: whenever your actual personality traits do align with your typedentity and you feel okay with your own mind. this is the typegender equivalent of being cisgender.
typeaffirmation: validation or reassurance that your personality aligns with your typedentity, can be given by others or experienced internally.
typedentity transition: the process of gradually altering your mind, behaviour or lifestyle to resemble your typedentity as much as possible. this may include intentional modification of behaviour or cognitive styles, and shift in environement and aesthetics.
typotherapy: typotherapy is therapy aimed to manage type dysphoria, understand shame, and try to integrate one's typedentity in the safest and most effective ways possible.
typefluid: when a person's typedentity fluctuates between multiple types or changes over time.
anti-self: whatever traits and behaviours you strongly reject in yourself, feel distress whenever exhibiting, feel distress whenever perceived as having. it represents everything you don't want to be.
--------------------------------------
this is what a typegender brain surgery typesitition clinic would look like:
ran by apoxian robots, not humans. because if it were real people it would feel uncomfortable. it is 100% neurodivergent friendly.
reception room: reception questions include: "what vibes are dysphoric for you to have?" "what functions, traits, cognitive patterns, trauma responses, etc feel the most euphoric for you to have?" "are you here for full typedentity reassignment, or transitional alignment?" clients are greeted in a neutral tone, because attempts to assume typedentity or ATAB (assigned type at birth) may cause type dysphoria.
cognition assessment: devices to test function and point usage under different states of mind (e.g. stress, sleep, intoxication), mirror rooms to observe oneself reacting to social emotional or abstract prompts, typedentity dysphoria scales e.g. "rate your distress when you exhibit [insert type]" or "do you feel more seen, or more violated, when others call you [insert trait]?"
typegender affirmation ward: private rooms were one dresses speaks and behaves as their typedentity, roleplay sessions, euphoric feedback sessions to reinforce moments where you feel aligned with your ideal self
type hormone therapy: symbolic "hormones" administered as rituals, language exposure or routine shifts. procedures that are supposed to enhance desired traits and cognitive styles, and suppress undesired ones, all to each typegender client's individual preferences.
typopsychiatry: therapists analyse why exactly your brain form an ideal type and validate that your anti-self is properly caused by trauma, and not a "bad habit" or faked for attention. sessions may address type dysphoria episodes, for dealing with shame after someone significantly exhibited anti-self behaviour.
reassignment surgery: not necessarily physical literal surgery, but instead identity re-patterning. function rebalancing meditations, and scripts rewritten.
discharge kit: custom playlists, typological clothing, and recommended routines, etc to align with a typegender person's typedentity. clients are never discharged unless the apoxian robots are completely sure they have fully transitioned and will never relapse.
this is far fetched but anyway
define "typegender". include vocab like: typedentity, typenouns, typefluidity, type euphoria / dysphoria, type envy, transtypal identity, cognitive style dysphoria
describe the problem. explain what differentiates typegender distress from general identity confusion or shame. explain how it causes significant distress for you and why existing services do not help.
offer a vision. what would a typegender-affirming society look like? what would a typegender clinic do? typedentity counselling, brain dysphoria coping support, type presentation coaching, safe spaces for typological expression
CRINGE ALRT create a mock website, portfoli concept. services offered, testimonials, intake forms for typedentity exploration.
create supportive spaces on the most appropriate platform for people experiencing typegender dysphoria. offer typedentity exploration sessions, peer-validated typedentity pronouns, and shared resources for dealing with distress whenever reality contradicts your typedentity.
read and reference. typegender is a cousin of neuroqueerness (chatgpt weird term) and constructivist identity. queer theory, neurodivergence, typology systems, identity philosophy.
mental health professionals, typology professionals, speculative psychiatry, post typology memes.
create content. it could be tiktok, memes, magazines, articles, typegender pronoun badges.
host events: typegender support groups, workshops, awareness days, art spaces, booths.
carrd or notion (do those even exist), discord, tumblr, google forms.
anyway
since a very young age I have felt dysphoria over my own cognition analogous to a transgender person feeling gender dysphoria. if "gender dysphoria" could be defined as "distress caused by the mismatch between one's biological sex and one's sense of gender identity", then "type dysphoria" (also known as "brain dysphoria") could be defined as "distress caused by the mismatch between one's natural cognitive, behavioural and personality patterns and one's sense of identity (a.k.a their "typedentity")". it's like gender dysphoria's cousin - what both have in common is distress at one's self, the former over personality and cognition (or one's "type" or otherwise "vibes") the latter gender identity. normal individuals have a typedentity more aligned with who they really are, whereas transtypal individuals experience a painful divide between their typedentity and their actual cognition and behaviour.
I pine to be properly aligned with myself. I hate the way I speak, write, dress, behave, seek pleasure, cope with pain, process reality, etc and so forth because it is so untypical of my typedentity. it hurts more than anything when I look at youtube to download music but my feed is filled with triggering content, posts that were made by people that are my Ideal Self way more than I am. This is not just because I am "insecure", this is more because I feel deeply inherently dysphoric about everything about myself and I really want to become a different person entirely, and a lot of the time I am too brain-dysphoric to function.
Very ideally and unrealistically, I wish there was some kind of typegender transition clinic where clients receive life-changing neuro-treatment (so many transtypal suicides would be saved).
I feel very upset at behaving, or being perceived as, any of these things: childish, irresponsible, clingy, attention-seeking, greedy, sensual, irrational, fake and shallow, sexualised, dramatic, emotionally reactive, spontaneous and impulsive, hysterical, aggressive, self-revealing, law-abiding, materialistic
I want to be an emotionally unavailable skinny lanky pale skinned dissociated niche minimalistic gamer artist horror fan skater so so so so badly. too many deviations from this ideal make me feel despair.
a few examples of what triggers MY brain dysphoria:
being told "okay"
acting without thinking
strangers talking to me
cashiers asking me "is that all?" when I am buying next to nothing
comparing what I write while venting with other people complaining about their unpleasant experiences, and theirs is way more concise/intellectualised in comparison
brain dysphoria is not limited to gender dysphoria or type dysphoria. it's more of a vague combination of both, or neither at all. it doesn't matter if a stranger is male or female, old or young, or how much they weigh. noticing anyone at all exhibit traits such as apathy, detachment or dissociation more than I do is extremely triggering. i want to put this because i really want to stress that I am NOT being sexist or exhibiting internalised misogyny by assuming all men are stoic and all women are overly emotional - it's more my subjective standards as to what I base my self worth on.
examples of very hurtful things strangers have done or said to me that triggered my brain dysphoria
on the metro, some aggressive person yelled at me "you haven't been what i've been through"
i once went to emergency room for mental health problems. when i went outside for a smoke, someone i was familiar with got my attention. "Are you okay?" "Yes" "No you're not, I had to..."
i do not feel safe in my own neighbourhood. little kids call me "Scary Mary" and it hurts more than anything. they scream at me to imitate me and they try to frighten me on purpose - which is particularly upsetting because I typedentify as unreactive and unemotional.
this particular location I avoid like the plague. because I've had to put up with people shoving female deodorant and women's art club leaflets in my face randomly, or I once got off a bus and this person said to me "I like your hat. I'm autistic too, a bit awkward"
------------------------------------
typegender: an experience of identity in which one's internal sense of identity or self-worth is closely aligned with a specific typology or cognitive orientation, or loose set of various ones. dysphoria occurs when behaviour contradicts that identity.
typedentity: a significanlty felt sense of identity based on being a kind of trope or type. this identity feels just as vital and sacred as gender identity, hence violations of which cause significant emotional pain, distress, or shame.
typenouns: any kind of labels a typegender person uses to describe their typedentity. others recognising or invalidating one's typenouns feels similar to "passing", or misgendering, respectively.
typealignment: the state of being in alignment with one's ideal self, leading to euphoria, clarity, comfort and self-cohesion. this is similar to gender euphoria.
typal dysphoria / brain dysphoria: psychological discomfort, shame or dysphoria caused by behaving in ways inconsistent with one's typedentity. could also be described as your mind betraying your own identity.
typenaturalism: whenever your actual personality traits do align with your typedentity and you feel okay with your own mind. this is the typegender equivalent of being cisgender.
typeaffirmation: validation or reassurance that your personality aligns with your typedentity, can be given by others or experienced internally.
typedentity transition: the process of gradually altering your mind, behaviour or lifestyle to resemble your typedentity as much as possible. this may include intentional modification of behaviour or cognitive styles, and shift in environement and aesthetics.
typotherapy: typotherapy is therapy aimed to manage type dysphoria, understand shame, and try to integrate one's typedentity in the safest and most effective ways possible.
typefluid: when a person's typedentity fluctuates between multiple types or changes over time.
anti-self: whatever traits and behaviours you strongly reject in yourself, feel distress whenever exhibiting, feel distress whenever perceived as having. it represents everything you don't want to be.
--------------------------------------
this is what a typegender brain surgery typesitition clinic would look like:
ran by apoxian robots, not humans. because if it were real people it would feel uncomfortable. it is 100% neurodivergent friendly.
reception room: reception questions include: "what vibes are dysphoric for you to have?" "what functions, traits, cognitive patterns, trauma responses, etc feel the most euphoric for you to have?" "are you here for full typedentity reassignment, or transitional alignment?" clients are greeted in a neutral tone, because attempts to assume typedentity or ATAB (assigned type at birth) may cause type dysphoria.
cognition assessment: devices to test function and point usage under different states of mind (e.g. stress, sleep, intoxication), mirror rooms to observe oneself reacting to social emotional or abstract prompts, typedentity dysphoria scales e.g. "rate your distress when you exhibit [insert type]" or "do you feel more seen, or more violated, when others call you [insert trait]?"
typegender affirmation ward: private rooms were one dresses speaks and behaves as their typedentity, roleplay sessions, euphoric feedback sessions to reinforce moments where you feel aligned with your ideal self
type hormone therapy: symbolic "hormones" administered as rituals, language exposure or routine shifts. procedures that are supposed to enhance desired traits and cognitive styles, and suppress undesired ones, all to each typegender client's individual preferences.
typopsychiatry: therapists analyse why exactly your brain form an ideal type and validate that your anti-self is properly caused by trauma, and not a "bad habit" or faked for attention. sessions may address type dysphoria episodes, for dealing with shame after someone significantly exhibited anti-self behaviour.
reassignment surgery: not necessarily physical literal surgery, but instead identity re-patterning. function rebalancing meditations, and scripts rewritten.
discharge kit: custom playlists, typological clothing, and recommended routines, etc to align with a typegender person's typedentity. clients are never discharged unless the apoxian robots are completely sure they have fully transitioned and will never relapse.
this is far fetched but anyway
define "typegender". include vocab like: typedentity, typenouns, typefluidity, type euphoria / dysphoria, type envy, transtypal identity, cognitive style dysphoria
describe the problem. explain what differentiates typegender distress from general identity confusion or shame. explain how it causes significant distress for you and why existing services do not help.
offer a vision. what would a typegender-affirming society look like? what would a typegender clinic do? typedentity counselling, brain dysphoria coping support, type presentation coaching, safe spaces for typological expression
CRINGE ALRT create a mock website, portfoli concept. services offered, testimonials, intake forms for typedentity exploration.
create supportive spaces on the most appropriate platform for people experiencing typegender dysphoria. offer typedentity exploration sessions, peer-validated typedentity pronouns, and shared resources for dealing with distress whenever reality contradicts your typedentity.
read and reference. typegender is a cousin of neuroqueerness (chatgpt weird term) and constructivist identity. queer theory, neurodivergence, typology systems, identity philosophy.
mental health professionals, typology professionals, speculative psychiatry, post typology memes.
create content. it could be tiktok, memes, magazines, articles, typegender pronoun badges.
host events: typegender support groups, workshops, awareness days, art spaces, booths.
carrd or notion (do those even exist), discord, tumblr, google forms.
