Empathy and Advice Welcomed Current state of my life right now (Not good)

Figured I'd update everyone on my life right now as a significant event happened earlier this month that really effected my life. On the 5th of July of this year I was out front doing proper fireworks with my family when the lighter I had (butane) ran out, we didn't have anything but wick lighters. During this, my dad gave me a weed gummy of his. I took it since I was already drinking. My mom was showing me how to use the lighter because I still have trouble with it. It was getting frustrating for me and my dad tried to fight her battle for her. During this argument he claimed I was acting mad because of the alcohol. (Not true, he was arguing with me) Later he went to his room to get something which led to my mom trying to calm me (didn't work) before I told her "We'll you've been ruining this day" which accidentally happened when I said she then yell argued with me about it. She then cut it off which then my dad was death glaring at me which I pointed it out because I didn't like how he was holding his grudge in front of my younger sister. (The frustration wasn't happening in front of my sister, she was playing with the poppers.) He then tried to threateningly go up to me, which I went up to him the same way (I wanted to show I wasn't afraid of him). Another argument started which was him vaguely threatening me which (again, to show I wasn't scared) I said "do it, see what happens". I've been practicing self defense for that exact moment, but I wasn't gonna hit him unless he hit me first, as I should. During this he threatened to hit me, which I wasn't afraid of, and was gonna call 911 on him, until Andrea pointed out I was high and that they'd arrest me too. Afterwards I went upstairs and stayed there while my mom texting me to come downstairs to finish with the promise that my dad wouldn't be there. I refused. During which I was frantically trying to get in contact with my girlfriend (she was in the bath) to let her know I no longer felt safe in the house. I eventually got a hold of her and told her everything. My mom even tried to text her, which she ignored and told me that we could accelerate moving in together and that she thought that this whole incident was set up as a power play. She also told me THC isn't illegal in my state and that it was a lie. During this time my D: drive, the drive I keep most of my creative stuff in (I do content creation, I don't wanna say what my channel name is because I don't want the stuff I say here to be used against me as I wanna use this site as a mental health help source.) After the rest of the day outside of those things, everything was seemingly better (not good, just better) until I went to bed. At 1:30 AM, I get frantic missed calls from Andrea and messages from my girlfriend. Turns out, my mother tried pinning my mental pain on my girlfriend which caused her to tell my mother all the issues I and she has had with her. This led to a long string of stress from my end telling my mom to go to bed and dealing with my girlfriend also being upset. I came to the conclusion that my mom was likely looking for someone to bully as I saw my dad asleep on the chair in the dining room with a box of a 24 pack of Miller Lite beside him and the cans strewed about that same night. Ever since then I've also dealt with the whole Collective Shout Visa MasterCard thing (I'm not an "adult model" but I do make "adult" animations and edgy content that they certainly won't approve of) so that's done a number on me. Especially knowing the final decision comes down to whether a bill is passed or not. As a result, a lot of life does not seem like it's worth living right now. I'm not gonna kill myself, but it feels like even when I finally move in with my girlfriend, there won't be that much of a world to enjoy anyways. I don't know what I want from this thread, empathy, advice, whatever. I just figured everyone has the right to know where I'm at mentally now. I don't know if this is "end of the road' or not. I hope not. But all I can see is my world getting worse and worse.

Venting is therapeutic
I hope all goes well for you

Thank you.

I don't know much about the Collective Shout/Credit Card thing, but I think if you are someone who sells mature material online, you won't be affected? Like they're not going to make you take it down or stop selling it, just make it more difficult for minors to access. I realise that's a big "just" and I am aware that some more nefarious agendas are at work here, but most people just want to stop little kids accessing porn. Stuff made by adults for adults should be fine.

It's not about that. There are people getting effected by this in the sense that their content is being removed/hidden due to it being "demeaning". I don't mean to be rude, but please consider looking into it more.

Just heard that there was a bill being passed that finally outlaws THC in my state. Remind me again why life is worth living?

What if you could get a contract with South Park
Adult Swim
Or something similar

travel 💨 all the THC your heart desires

🛌 😴 💭 dreaming is also therapeutic - sometimes

I know you're trying to make a joke to make me feel better, but it feels kinda condescending.

I don’t think I was trying to make a joke, although I did aim to make you smile. I was thinking optimistically and outside of the box.

I am not familiar with other platforms so I cited the ones that came to mind.

I apologize that it came off as condescending. It was not my intent.

I will be more mindful of how my expressions may come off to the reader.

All it did was make me angry. You're forgiven.

Bumping this. I hate how whenever I say "The censorship stuff is making me not want to live anymore", no one gives an upside. No one gives a "here's how to feel better" or "here's how to fix it". I've gotten a "me too" and that's it. Is this God trying to tell me that I've done enough on this world and it's time to go? Do I have to go to him? Is having the bravery to take a huge pain against myself to say goodbye the thing he's asking me to do as a final test? I'm not saying I'm going to, but it feels like that's what's being asked of me.

Bumping again, why try to enjoy things if they're just gonna be taken away from me? Th fact that no on is helping me is proof that this really is the end for me probably.