A weird one

Okay, here goes....

My family was all appalchin moonshine runners and/or military. Even in the 70s deep south we were old fashioned. More of a family vine than tree!

It was pointed out to us early that life aint fair and no one cares about your feelings! Which is okay, I dont have feelings like others. I can mimic it for short periods in public but its so draining! Fortunatly I dont need to at home.

Anyway, I ask because I read posts with people talking about their "feelings" and would like to be helpful, but Im not exactly sure how I should feel about their feelings.

Logically I dont want them in pain. But thats not the same as any emotional investment that I think most people have?

Thanks. A bit off topic but I publicaly keep this VERY hidden.

I can see why that would be a conundrum for you, wanting to be helpful, but the feelings part doesn't click

I think that sometimes, someone posting a message wants first to know that they are heard (read) and that their thought or problem matters. Maybe that is something you can sincerely offer, without having to necessarily feel what they are feeling. Sometimes, even a simple hug emoji helps.
There is even a mention of something like this in the user guide and getting started section that says "Please don't worry about saying the wrong thing. As long as you are kind and stick to the forum rules, people will appreciate whatever you have to say"

Hope that helps


peace

I agree with @1Lefty - & also @BRADY33 , every body wants different things on this forum. And every body doesn't always even necessarily want the same things, each and every time. So sometimes, you can and other times, you cannot win. If Your read isn't "right," or 'correct,' in that moment, for that given individual (& what it is, they are in need of). We'd all love to be mind-readers. . . I'd say, if you authentically & genuinely "can't," sincerely feel what they are feeling, and the emotions that are being expressed, then it is better not to 'fake-it.' But that is just me, you see? There are probably some others, who do appreciate it, as it is often times hard to tell, online when people are or are not being honest with their replies, or words in general. I could be pulling your leg right-now! But guess what? I'm not (guess you'll just have to trust me...) / Some people like, "likes." Others despise. Some people love emoji's, others do not. Can't please everyone, and so all you can do, at the end of the day, is to just do your best to be yourself in your response (again in my opinion) to offer support, encouragement, help -- whatever you think you can. In that moment, in time. Whatever that is, a "hug" etc. Is probably going to be fine for most. I try to remember when people have posted in the section (or subforum, is it?) of the 'empathy-only' (no advice needed) area; but truth be told... like 99.9% of the time, I either forget it - or just miss it altogether (going in, so to speak). Try not to stress about it, no matter waht. And just do the best you can, man. That's all I'd say or do from an advice oriented standpoint. If it rings hollow to you, or you feel your are being an imposter, then try another way. Find something that works for you, adn tthat feels good and so on. Good luck!

I have never had much in the ways of emotions and feelings being schizoid personality type. It was interesting since I have always been a short person and when young was pretty scrawny but the bullies throughout youth and high school all had an attitude of let's pass on going after this one, I was a bit off which unnerved them and others since then. For me much here is perhaps not as much empathy as just knowing it is illogical for me not to want things to go for others. Not only the right thing to me, but the logical thing that people do not have bad things or pains in their lives.