• Xenforo forums over the past few months have been seeing spam posts from existing user accounts. Bots hitting forums using lists of emails/passwords leaked elsewhere. We strongly recommend that all users change their password ASAP.

End it all

Dinolaur

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
Staff Alumni
#1
#1
I just want the days to be gone. Done and dusted.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. Life is shit. I feel so selfish for even considering this when I brought 2 humans into the world. But I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t think I can wait another decade, until they’re old enough to get by without me. They have their dad and both sets of grandparents, that’s what matters right? I’m just going to bring a whole host of misery to their lives. No one wants a miserable mum, and I can’t keep pretending anymore.

I’m hurting physically and emotionally. I dread what my life in the future holds. I don’t see any future other than one that’s filled with loneliness. I don’t want that for me.
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#2
#2
I see what you wrote. But I think, you would do more damage if you would disappear. Children love their parents - whatever happens. And the damage you would do is not acceptable. At least this is my opinion. Why do you think you bring misery to their lives? Don't you take care of them? Don't you cook, make them eat? Bring them to the doctor, when sick? Normal things.
Why don't you talk to them all? I think telling the truth is always the best way to solve issues. Do not do any nonsense. First try to do something. Write more - to better understand the difficulties. Courage.
 
Dinolaur

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
Staff Alumni
#3
#3
I think a mum who isn’t happy is only going to bring misery to their lives. I love them so much, but I can’t bring anymore happy memories to them. They deserve happy memories and a happy, healthy mum. I’m neither.
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#4
#4
Please Dinolaur, we all have periods, when we are not happy. Imagine your sickness would be purely physical, lets say you had an accident and have to use a wheelchair for 3 or 4 months. Not happy - but would it change something with your kids? If your kids love you (and of what I read I understand they do), they will help you as well. All have the right to be sick - so let them help you. Explain whats wrong. Don't you think it would make them happy to help YOU? Try to see it from the other side.

Look, my mother did horrible things to me (and my sister) and it took me years to forgive and forget. But when she died 15 years ago, I was sad for a long long time. There was real love - despite all what happened in the past. Things change. Please, try. You can be the healthy, happy mum again - if you let other help you (not only here, but family, doctor etc.), Do not give up.

I wish that today you rest, try to sleep early - when you wake up tomorrow things will be better. Here it's now 20:00.

Again: courage - giving up is easy, fight can be hard - but you can make it - like so many others. Wait, there will be input from others - better, different. Just chose the best answer.
 
Dinolaur

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
Staff Alumni
#7
#7
Survivorist said:
Please Dinolaur, we all have periods, when we are not happy. Imagine your sickness would be purely physical, lets say you had an accident and have to use a wheelchair for 3 or 4 months. Not happy - but would it change something with your kids? If your kids love you (and of what I read I understand they do), they will help you as well. All have the right to be sick - so let them help you. Explain whats wrong. Don't you think it would make them happy to help YOU? Try to see it from the other side.

Look, my mother did horrible things to me (and my sister) and it took me years to forgive and forget. But when she died 15 years ago, I was sad for a long long time. There was real love - despite all what happened in the past. Things change. Please, try. You can be the healthy, happy mum again - if you let other help you (not only here, but family, doctor etc.), Do not give up.

I wish that today you rest, try to sleep early - when you wake up tomorrow things will be better. Here it's now 20:00.

Again: courage - giving up is easy, fight can be hard - but you can make it - like so many others. Wait, there will be input from others - better, different. Just chose the best answer.
Click to expand...
I’ve had a shower, almost lost my new piercing stud, but cried my fucking eyes out in the shower, not gonna lie, I put the shower up to the hottest heat I could sustain because I just wanted to feel something other than my heart breaking. I’ve finally had a drink, no food, not eaten in days. I don’t feel like eating, it’s my coping mechanism to having something in my life in my control, but that shower, it’s helped, a little tiny bit. I haven’t cried since the shower, but I just feel numb. But I’ll sip my tea and try to feel somewhat better.
 
Dinolaur

Dinolaur

Human by day, Dino by night
Staff Alumni
#19
#19
MisterBGone said:
How are you today, @Dinolaur ?
Click to expand...
Well, I just got home from work, I wish it was a distraction but it’s not, as I’m driving all day, so I’m just in my own head constantly. It was nice to get out into some fresh air though and occasionally getting to talk to someone. In the grand scheme of things, I guess I’m a little better. Thank you for asking @MisterBGone
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$20.00
Goal
$255.00
Donate View
Top