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hi! this is my first post

T

totally-clear-headed

New Member
#1
#1
I have been looking for a forum to talk about my relationship with suicide - I have a close family member who has attempted at least 5 times, and I had a moment where I almost <mod edit - method>. I have been struggling a lot over the past few years with keeping myself alive and it is a miracle I have been able to live as long as I have. I have pretty much everything from the source for my method to my note mostly written, but my method would take at least a week to get here so I would have time to reconsider. I have been wanting to go to a psych ward if I ever get worse again so I want to try that first.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#2
#2
Welcome to the forum. You made a good choice. I think most of us here had a similar experience. When I joined here (I think 2 years ago or so) I had only one thought in my head - just like you. The first time I tried, when I was 18. You seem young - I am now 62 and always had phases all over my life, where I just wanted to disappear. Why am I still here?
Miracles happen, our life can change from one moment to the other (from completely negative to positive), you can end up in Psy. Ward (not very nice), some take medication - and if helps, Best of all is doing sport.

Well, you will receive a lot of answers. Pick the best. For me - do not do anything stupid, ok? Life has so much to offer, you cannot see now. Trust an old man.
 
T

totally-clear-headed

New Member
#3
#3
Survivorist said:
Welcome to the forum. You made a good choice. I think most of us here had a similar experience. When I joined here (I think 2 years ago or so) I had only one thought in my head - just like you. The first time I tried, when I was 18. You seem young - I am now 62 and always had phases all over my life, where I just wanted to disappear. Why am I still here?
Miracles happen, our life can change from one moment to the other (from completely negative to positive), you can end up in Psy. Ward (not very nice), some take medication - and if helps, Best of all is doing sport.

Well, you will receive a lot of answers. Pick the best. For me - do not do anything stupid, ok? Life has so much to offer, you cannot see now. Trust an old man.
Click to expand...
Thank you. It is genuine luck I am still alive. I am 17 too and so i know I have a lot more time that I should use. I am also medicated with zoloft which helps with my anxiety but not my depression. As of the past 2 weeks, I have been a bit better and I think I am coming out of my major depressive episode. It is great that you are still here and best of luck in life <3. To be able to fight for so long is truly so great and is wonderful.
 
LumberJack

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻
#4
#4
Welcome. I saw that you mentioned a psych ward. I would urge you to get a LOT of feedback from former patients if you are considering admitting voluntarily. My experience with inpatient treatment was more like jail than a hospital. I was even punished for advocating for myself. Maybe your experience will be different, but if you find anyone who has been inpatient and not regretted it, I would be surprised.
 
may71

may71

mr. may
#5
#5
Hello and welcome to SF!

I'm sorry that you're feeling suicidal.
totally-clear-headed said:
I have been wanting to go to a psych ward if I ever get worse again so I want to try that first.
Click to expand...
The main value of going inpatient is that they can keep you safe. There are some underfunded and understaffed hospitals that can be a bit rough. If you've got private insurance you might be able to to be picky about where you would go, and possibly even research hospitals that you might like better than others.

Overall, I think it's good that you're willing to go if you need to, but hopefully there's a way to get safe without that.
 
KM76710

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#6
#6
Welcome and glad you have joined here with us. I agree, good idea to check in at a ward if you get too bad and I hope that you do if it does come to it. It is great to have the support here but support in person can be a boon also. It is always good to take your time for what you need and to not rush into things.
 
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