depression – Suicide Forum

Change your Life – Fighting Depression

Member Submission — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 23:16:54 +0000

Nothing ever changes until something changes. It seems like such a simple statement that it almost does not even make sense. It is so obvious it does not even really even reach full cliché status, much less the lofty heights of being a proverb. On its best day it might be called “words of wisdom”. Yet, despite its lowly status amongst oft repeated phrases, it is actually the solution to so many issues faced by so many people all around the world.

Humans in general have two conflicting prevalent desires or attitudes. People are never satisfied- whatever level one achieves, they want more or better. This is not a flaw, it inspires progress, improvement, and the reaching of ever higher levels and capabilities. The other general attitudes is the dislike of change, the desire for things to remain constant and the same. This also is not a flaw despite being so contrary to the first as it inspires stability and considered thought as opposed to impulsive or impetuous decisions.

Taken together though, these two contrary desires often result in great dissatisfaction with life and the way people live. We want things to be different and better and for there to be progress, but many times our fear of change and longing for stability and comfort with the known prevents us from taking the often times obvious steps needed to result in a better situation and happiness.

While the ‘nothing ever changes until something changes’ truism applies equally to great geo-political issues and world policy issues such as climate change and world hunger, looking at it on the smaller more personal level of how we live day to day and the effect it has on our happiness and contentment in daily life will allow us to consider some new ideas that can have a near immediate effect on happiness and quality of life.

We are Creatures of Habit and Routine

People tend to be creatures of habit and routine. We do things over and over again day after day and develop the habits and routines that allow us to function in the fast paced world we now live in. If you were to list every single task done each day from get up brush teeth go work – all the tasks at work or school – getting to wherever going – drive, turn left here , stop at sign- eat lunch etc. etc. you would have a list of hundreds of tiny tasks you do each day. The only way to manage this many tasks is by force of habit or routine. The majority of them are done without conscious thought because they have become so routine. This is a necessary coping mechanism to deal with the complexity of modern living and lifestyles.

We tend to fear or at the least be uncomfortable with even minor changes to our routine because life experience tells us that changes to our routine cause difficulty and stress. It often boils down to the simple concept of fear of the unknown. We are not necessarily happy with the way something is going, but we know what the result will be. When we change things we have a hoped for result but also the possibility of failure or making things worse. If things are already hard, the risk of making things worse can cause a person to settle for bad result instead of even risk a worse.

The Downward Spiral to Depression

The smallest things can have the most dramatic results, particularly when dealing with depression. Depression often becomes a seemingly endless cycle. Getting out of bed or leaving the house may physically hurt when the depression gets bad enough. The needed routines to cope with the complex modern life style become too much. Everything just feels like too much.

Instead of following the established pattern and going to work or school, the choice is made to stay home, to stay in bed. Instead of getting dressed you might stay in pajamas, and since all the patterns changed, the shower, shaving, and whole range of other things stop to. Once the big routine breaks down, it is all gone and it becomes too hard to try to remember to do all the little things out of order so instead none are done.

After even just a few days of this, however, and that is the new routine. The aversion to change that routine starts. We do not want to shower or go out of the house, or do the chores because our new routine involves none of those things and even though life sucks, we are managing. We often say that is the way we “cope” with extreme depression. Except that is not coping with depression at all. That is allowing the depression to become the habit we live and pattern we live by.

We do not want to change it because even though it hurts and we say we cannot take the constant depression and pain anymore, we do not want to risk the possibility of more pain by going out of the house. We want to avoid the potential pain of going back to school or work. While we are ready to die to end feeling so bad, we are not ready to take a shower and start changing the depression routine we have gone into.

Part of that routine often becomes the fixation on how feeling so awful, and the fixation with sadness and death and heartache. Listening to sad songs, searching for suicide methods online, looking through social media to prove our lives are worse than others. It all comes back to rationalizing and justifying how we feel, and therefore why we should not change. We tell anybody that will listen we will do anything to stop the pain all the while we do nothing but embrace it. We ask how to fix it and overlook the most simple.

We feel the sadness, isolation, and despair because that is how we felt when we stopped getting up, stopped socializing, stopped engaging with life. We are continuing on or increasingly doing all of those things (isolating, staying in bed or room, and avoiding normal hygiene) and yet say we are waiting for our mood to change, for the depression to lessen. We are listening to the sad music, focusing on the negative, searching out suicide methods type things more, so the depression deepens, not lessens. Nothing changes until something changes. The only way to make the cycle stop is to change something. Get out of bed and get dressed. Pick up the room. Turn off the sad music and put on something else. Resume the typical chores associated with normal living. Get out of the house and live even if you do not feel like doing it.

What Triggered the Depression?

The not wanting to do anything else is a function of both mood and habit/routine. It gets comfortable to isolate and changing is both hard and seems like it has risks. After all, it was “out there in the world” that this started, right? Not usually. If you actually look at it, “out there” started as a bad day or two or something bad happening. That made us upset or sad. The sad and upset changed our good routines into the isolation, and the playing sad songs “to cope”. That isolation and intentional immersion into our own place then grew by itself, as a product of the repeated actions we took in reaction to something hard or sad. The depression was not triggered by the relative dying, or not getting the job, or boyfriend breaking up with us. The depression was actually triggered by our reaction to that event– the isolating and playing sad songs, and withdrawal from life that initiated the new routine as opposed to by the event itself.

Just like a change from the other routine may have gotten us here, a change from this current routine is needed to get you out of this dark place. Some call it “fake it til you make it”, but it is not about pretending to be happy and suddenly you will fool yourself into being happy. People are not that simplistic and dumb.

Changes to make Happiness at Least Possible

It is about putting yourself into situations and changing the way you are doing things so happiness is possible. It is damn hard to feel happy listening to sad music and watching sad shows on TV and reliving every sad or bad memory you have ever had hour after hour, day after day. None of those things are apt to make you suddenly start smiling and feeling good. If doing those things suddenly made you happy and feel good then you would have a serious mental issue.

The changing to a situation where happiness is at least possible must be a conscious and intentional process. It will not happen spontaneously in somebody deep into depression, yet that is what the person in depression feels like needs to happen. They want to feel different before doing different and that process is as simple as the “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Yet that is what the typical depressed individual is doing. You have to change the action first to result in a change of mood second.

When somebody says you have to “snap out of it”, “just pull yourself together and put it behind you”, or other such maddening advice pause before jumping to anger. On first pass you may think “If I could do that then I would” and let it anger you and push you back further into the isolation believing they clearly do not understand. Try to hear it differently. They are not saying you can stop the depression on a whim. They are saying you must stop putting yourself in a place where it is impossible to feel anything else.

They see you not leaving your room and being sad for not friends and lonely, listening to sad music, watching heartbreaking shows on TV and can’t stop feeling sad. They see you looking through Facebook and talking about how great others are doing while you are stuck alone in your room not going to work and see the other issue you are missing. Nobody could feel happy in that situation, so snap out of it means to change something about that situation you are in so that happiness is at least possible.

Ready for a change? Click here to join us for a chat today.

Distraction Mechanisms in a Crisis

Butterfly — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 16:24:37 +0000

As I write this article, I would probably class myself as being in crisis. It’s a horrible place to be and it feels like no matter how hard I try, I cannot feel better. I have been told by the Crisis Team to distract as much as possible. This advice frustrates a lot of people because they cannot see how distraction is going to “cure” them of their suicidal/manic thoughts. It’s not designed to take all that pain away or make things better. Distraction serves as a short term solution to help you slow your thoughts down and focus on something else for a short while until meds can kick in that will help you feel better and until your crisis passes.

So what distraction mechanisms help me?

Writing

If I am in the early throws of a crisis, where my thoughts are racing but I have not hit an agitated state to the point of being useless then I find writing useful. I am writing this article now to channel all of my excess energy (I have Bipolar and currently in a mixed episode) but it has also helped me in the past to channel severe depressive and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I write about how I am feeling. Other times I write about a topic completely unrelated to how I am feeling. I have written some amazing things whilst in crisis, and when I read them back I cannot believe that I have written them.

Reading

If you are able to concentrate for long enough then reading is a god distraction. It enables you to escape reality for a little while and can help slow the thoughts down for a while.

Drawing/colouring

Using art to distract your mind in a crisis is fast becoming a popular distraction technique. I cannot draw, but I do have a mindfulness colouring book and I also have a colouring app. It’s a technique that doesn’t require much thought and you can just focus on what you are doing, colouring within the lines, which colour you are going to pick next etc. I used to laugh when people suggested this to me because my initial reaction was that it was a bit childish, but since trying it, it is now one of my first “go to” distraction techniques.

Having a bath/Aromatherapy

This is usually one of the crisis team’s suggestions which really frustrates a lot of people. But it does serve a purpose. If you own lots of nice bubble baths and bath salts, the scents and smells tend to have calming effect, especially if you have things like lavender and chamomile scents. I also light candles too as I find the smells relaxing and quite often I stop to think “that smells nice” and reflect upon what I can smell for a short period, often without realising I am doing it.

Playing games

I am a little biased towards this one as I am a gamer, although I do struggle to play some games whilst I am agitated. But I find games like solitaire or bejewelled useful because they are only short games, but do require a degree of concentration. Sometimes I get frustrated and give up, but other times it’s enough to slow my mind down.

Cleaning

As much as I hate cleaning, it is a good distraction. I can do it at my own pace and it doesn’t require much thinking or skill. When I am cleaning I tend to focus on what I am doing, rather than my mind wandering off at a tangent.

Baking

There is something about baking that is extremely therapeutic. I’m not sure if it’s getting stuck in and dirty, whisking violently or following instructions, but after a baking session I am always a lot calmer. A very tasty way to end a crisis.

Watching TV/Movies

I would avoid anything triggering at all costs. But if there is a TV show you like to watch, or you have a favourite movie then I would recommend this. This is a great distraction technique as it requires very little effort. There is something comforting about watching your favourite movie whilst snuggled under a blanket in your pyjamas.

Going for a walk

If you feel up to it and safe enough, I find walking a good distraction. It helps to clear your mind and also gets you out of the house and active. Because you are moving about, you release endorphins which are the “feel good” hormone. You can also focus on what is happening around you, whether it’s just noticing the buildings, the hustle and bustle of your town or admiring the view.

Exercise

Exercise releases endorphins which is the “feel good” hormone. It can also help you relieve some of that pent up rage and emotion.

Mindfulness

This is great way to bring you back into the present rather than being consumed by your thoughts. There are many exercises to try such as deep breathing, body scanning, guided imagery and focusing on objects.

Pets

If you have pets then a great way to distract yourself is give them some fuss and love. Pets love attention and they also have a way of sensing when you are not feeling well. It’s very therapeutic.

Talking to People

One of the best techniques for distraction is talking to people – someone to chat to, to take your mind away from the distressing thoughts can be incredibly helpful. The SF chat room is open and free 24/7, 365 days a year. There is almost always someone there ready to chat with.

5 Ways to Cope with Impulse Control Disorder

Nexia — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 14:24:57 +0000

For those that are unaware, an ICD (or impulse control disorder) is a psychiatric disorder that doesn’t allow much, or any, control over an urge to do something that results in hurting themselves or others. As someone who suffers from this disorder I’ve decided to help others figure out what to do when they are going through an urge they feel they can’t control.

Before listing a few ways to cope, please understand that an ICD can come in many forms (not just hurting yourself or others in a physical way) such as Kleptomania, Pathological Gambling, Trichotillomania, Pyromania, Intermittent explosive disorder, Compulsive Skin Picking and even Compulsive Buying (explained in detail here).

Without further ado, here are five ways to help cope with your urges:

Tap Your Fingers Together

As simple as this is, simply pressing the pads of your fingers against your thumb one at a time can help with small urges (such as wanting to push something off of a shelf in a store or break something).

The ol’ Counting Method

This still works for small urges! Pick your favorite number and begin counting either out loud or to yourself- whichever you find more comfortable. This method helps when you are standing in a line and are tempted to do something you most likely shouldn’t do.

Play Music or Listen to Ambient Sounds

Again, something so simple to solve a problem can be a major benefit. Just as music can be used as motivation to get something done, it can be a great factor in stopping something bad from happening. Using music to take your mind off of something is not unknown, but in the moment, a lot of people are by themselves and in a crisis that can trigger an urge of self-harm. Music can calm you down as well as listening to the sound of rain or thunderstorms.

Play with Magnets

Magnets are usually used for refrigerator decorations, bumper stickers and even science. On the other hand, if you need a physical touch of something other than your own fingers to help you out of an urge, playing with magnets that can go anywhere with you is a huge plus. I play with Zen Magnets and use them to keep myself from touching things that I shouldn’t touch (such as the button on someone else’s shirt or someone else’s pens or pencils).

Submerge your Hands into Something Messy

The point of these coping tips are to keep your mind busy enough to get you out of a situation. A lot of times you need to physically do something with your hands to keep you from acting on an urge. This is where I would recommend getting your hands dirty with Oobleck, Kinetic Sand, mud (yes, dirt and water). Keeping your hands dirty [or at least busy] will take your mind off of whatever your urge is most of the time. It keeps your mind at ease and you can have a ton of fun!

There are a ton of ways to keep from acting on an intense or minor urge. As a bonus, another way to help you deal with an urge can be to let someone know you are having these urges. There are people out there who can help you; doctors, friends, family and on occasion- strangers nearby. Sometimes we need all the help we can get. If you or someone you know is going through what might be ICD or compulsive behaviors go to a doctor as this isn’t incurable and it could be a simple matter of just staying busy to help you or someone else through it.

Social Media Depression – How Dangerous Is It?

Freya — Thu, 24 Mar 2016 21:54:44 +0000

Have you ever looked at your Facebook feed and felt inadequate, lonely and left out? If you have, you are far from alone. People who check their social media accounts regularly have been found to be nearly three times more likely to suffer from depression in a study by the University of Pittsburgh.

Social media is very much a 21st century phenomenon:

Facebook has nearly 3 billion Facebook users across the world

Twitter has almost 350 million

Instagram has a billion users

Snapchat has more than 200 million

and the newest frontrunner, Tiktok, already has a billion users

It doesn’t seem that the rise of social media is going to stop any time soon. Pinterest, Tumblr, Reddit and even LinkedIn are all social media and surely we’re all using at least one of these platforms. But could social media be killing us?

‘Facebook Depresses Me and I Feel Like a Failure’

Social media has been hailed by many as an incredible invention, allowing friends and family to more easily keep in touch, even over vast distances, and it is impossible to argue that the platforms don’t allow that. But when ‘writing a status’ or posting a meme replaces real conversation, the result is rarely improved relationships. Where, in the past, we might have felt the need to call or at least email someone to connect with them – to maintain a relationship – we are now able to hit ‘like’ and feel we have done our part to engage.

Not only that, but in a world where ‘image is everything’, it seems more and more that Facebook and Instagram are used by many as a ‘showcase’ of perfectly posed and edited selfies and carefully curated life moments designed to make their existence seem as exciting and amazing as possible. Even those who don’t design their feeds to present a particular ‘image’ naturally share the ‘good parts’ of their lives – events with friends and family, births and marriages, travel and trips. It is far too easy to compare our reality with someone else’s highlight reel and end up feeling inadequate, boring and alone.

When it seems like everyone else is having fun, has dozens of friends and has their life “together” it is hardly surprising that we look at our own life and feel it is lacking – or that we are lacking.

A common theme on our forums and in our chat room is that people feel like a failure compared to their friends and family – that ‘everyone else’ is happy and normal and doing all kinds of exciting things that they are not. This can lead to depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts.

Are Social Media Friends Really Friends?

The American Association of Pediatrics issued a report in 2011 with one of the first mentions of the phenomenon ‘Facebook Depression”. Our young people have grown up in a world where it is commonplace to have hundreds, if not thousands, of ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ and popularity is no longer measured by who wants to sit with you at lunch.

With friendship being measured by numbers and approval coming in the form of likes or retweets, it is easy to see how social media can become damaging and even dangerous, especially for people suffering from depression.

When you feel like you can’t turn to any of your hundreds of friends for support, help or advice it can feel like the whole world literally does not care about you. The line between ‘someone you know’ and real friends has become so blurred for teenagers and even young adults in their 20s due to social media, that having a core of three or four friends in ‘real life’ who will listen, support and give practical help is considered by many a social failure.

Add to this the fact that reaching out to people on social media for help or advice can often lead to virtual strangers, masquerading on your feed as ‘friends’ ignoring you or, worse, going out of their way to pull you down or call you out for ‘drama’, and the world can feel like a very lonely, isolating place.

Social media depression is a vicious cycle – people whose depression is related to or worsened by social media reach out for support via those channels and are all too often met with a lack of understanding and even cruelty. For people who are vulnerable and already having suicidal thoughts, social media could, quite literally, kill them.

Social Media Depression – Some Tips

Limit the time you spend on social media and how many times a day you check it. Be strict with yourself and limit yourself to twice a day at the most and only for a maximum of 15 minutes at a time.
Seek out support with close friends you see in real life or with communities geared toward listening and supporting instead of reaching out on social media to people who barely know you and might hurt you.
Grab a sheet of paper and define for yourself what you consider a ‘friend’ to be. Be realistic about the differences between your friends and your social media acquaintances. It can be helpful to start thinking of and referring to them as acquaintances to get this in perspective.
Fill your time with ‘real world’ activities – working, volunteering and joining clubs and groups can get you away from the computer or phone and thinking about the things you are doing rather than the things other people are doing. Remember that ‘comparison is the thief of joy’.
Talk to your doctor. This is especially important if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself. Depression is a real illness and it is nothing to feel ashamed of. There is help available and you deserve to feel better.

Remember that you are not alone. The horrible feelings you have are not unusual and they probably happen to even the people you think seem so happy and successful from their social media feed. If you need extra support or someone to talk to, join our community to use our chat rooms and forums.

Dying of Loneliness – Mental Health and Loneliness

Freya — Sun, 06 Mar 2016 22:52:26 +0000

Mother Theresa once said “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or cancer or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for and deserted by everybody.” That loneliness is devastating is not new information; everyone who has felt alone understands how painful it can be. For the lucky many, loneliness is a fleeting feeling but for those who cannot find the escape hatch, loneliness can be a terrible, and fatal, trap.

Can Loneliness Really Kill You?

Research is reported to show that people who have no social supports and who feel alone have as greater increased risk of early death as alcoholic, while succeeding in making friends can be as good for our health as giving up smoking. Spending too much time alone, particularly if that time is not filled with rewarding distractions, often leads to fatalistic thinking and philosophizing that, in turn, lead to damaging thought patterns. In addition to this, a lack of accountability to people who care about you and your welfare can mean that self destructive urges that are usually curbed by fear of worrying or upsetting loved ones can get completely out of control.

According to a study by Brigham Young University, the subjective feeling of loneliness – that is to say feeling alone whether or not you are, in fact, alone – can increase the chance of death by 26%. It is not just being alone that is a significant risk to ongoing good health; just feeling uncared for, unheard and unsupported can be almost as dangerous as actually being isolated.

Sometimes you can feel alone no matter how many people there are with you.

Loneliness and Mental Health

Loneliness is a key theme on our forums – people who feel alone find it harder to combat suicidal urges and deal with mental illness. The mental health charity Mind report that being lonely can add to mental health issues such as depression, loneliness and anxiety. It also suggests that loneliness can contribute to rarer mental health conditions such as schizophrenia.

Loneliness can have a significant impact on our mental health – The University Herald reported that a study by the University of Chicago found loneliness to be linked to disrupted sleep, increases in the stress hormone cortisol and an overall perceived lowering in general well-being. That loneliness can contribute to poor mental health is well documented, but it is important not to ignore the other side of the coin: that poor mental health can be the cause of increased loneliness and isolation, both subjectively and actually.

One of the key symptoms of clinical depression is a feeling of loneliness and sadness. Often this feeling is not objectively true, but depression does not often care for the facts. On top of this already heightened sense of isolation, depression also has the effect of reducing our interest in socializing and participating in activities we once found enjoyable. By withdrawing from these activities, spending less time in social situations, people suffering from mental health conditions often isolate themselves.

As depression, anxiety and eventually suicidal thoughts and impulses take hold of our life, we find it harder to talk to people and engage in negative thought patterns such as:

My mental health is my problem; people shouldn’t have to deal with my ‘craziness’
People don’t like me anyway; I should stay on my own so I am not rejected.
I hurt everyone who cares about me; it is better for everyone if I am alone.
Even if I go out and socialize I won’t have fun; there isn’t any point in trying.

If any of these thoughts sound familiar – it is likely that your mental health problems are making your feeling of loneliness worse. Tempting as it is to isolate ourselves, telling ourselves that it is saving us from pain in the long run, the truth is that we are creating our own pain through our actions. Knowing this is the first step to fighting this life threatening problem.

Practical Steps for Easing Loneliness

Loneliness, left alone, will only ever get worse. It is not something that will fix itself and not something that gets better without attention and effort. Unfortunately, new friends are unlikely to simply knock on the door.

There are lots of ways that people will suggest you ‘find new friends’ – most of them involve joining a club or group to find like-minded people. This is an excellent idea but the simple fact is that if you were in a place where you felt able to go and join a group of strangers, the chances are that you would not have stopped seeing your own friends and family in the first place. Sites like Meetup.com are an excellent resource for finding friendship and getting out of the house, but they are not necessarily the best ‘first step’ on the road to re-socializing.

The UK National Health Service recommends that people suffering from loneliness ‘learn to love computers’. It is indisputable that the internet makes connecting with people easier and less stressful for many people with social anxiety issues and who need to be able to speak to people on their own terms. Online communities can be an excellent place to start to build up broken down social confidence – on forums and in chat rooms, talking to people without normal social pressures. It is, however, important to remember that these communities are not a replacement for ‘real life’ social interaction. As a starting place they are excellent, but they should be a supplement to other social interaction.

Once your confidence has been rebuilt to some level you can try:

Finding clubs and groups online – sites like Meetup offer groups with no obligation.
Joining a church, if you are religiously inclined
Taking a night class or day college course – most colleges offer short courses that can last as little as one day in all sorts of areas.
Re-connect with old friends – often a simple apology for having dropped off the face of the planet for a while and an invitation to coffee is enough to start to rebuild a friendship.
Volunteer for a charity or non-profit – having structure and a shared goal/purpose makes it easier to build friendships and eases social pressure.

Everything Starts with Starting

Making a beginning is the hardest part – but it is also the most important. Nothing changes unless something changes. Doing the brave thing today can make all the difference to your tomorrows. Here at SF we understand the difficulties that loneliness brings and we understand how hard it can be to start.

What is Depression and Do I have It? Signs and Symptoms of Depression

Butterfly — Sun, 06 Mar 2016 17:41:50 +0000

What is Depression? Do I have it?

Everyone has felt depressed from time to time, and often this feeling passes in a matter of days or even hours for most people. Suffering from long term depression, however, can be scary, exhausting and debilitating. Depression is a medical condition that needs medical attention, whether you think you are depressed “because your life sucks” or whether you have no idea why you are depressed because your life is generally good. If you are suffering from depression, do not suffer alone. Your doctor can help you and here at SF we can listen and support you through this difficult time.

So, What is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder which causes the sufferer to feel low in mood for a prolonged period of time, and is more than just feeling a bit sad or upset for a few days. Depression can disrupt your thought process and can be severely debilitating as it can affect different areas of your life in negative ways. It tends to manifest itself with you feeling low in mood, having periods of tearfulness, persistent negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you and you may even have thoughts of suicide and wanting to hurt yourself. Depression can also be a symptom of a more severe mental health disorder, so it is important to seek help straight away.

Signs and Symptoms of Depression

There are many different signs and symptoms of depression. Depression affects everybody differently, so you may find symptoms from person to person vary. The most common symptoms are:

- Feelings of persistent sadness that does not go away
- Feeling hopeless
- Feeling worthless
- Becoming more tearful than usual
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Comfort eating or completely losing your appetite
- Losing confidence in yourself
- Low self-esteem
- Feeling anxious
- Not being able to concentrate properly
- Isolating yourself from your friends and family
- Feeling more tired and lethargic than usual
- Unexplained aches and pains
- Feelings of guilt
- Loss of sex drive
- Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
- Self harm
- Thoughts of wanting to end your life

If you are in crisis, have immediate plans to end your own life or have harmed yourself then please seek medical attention urgently by either calling the emergency services, calling a crisis line or going to the Emergency Department.

Treatment for Depression

Depression is a very treatable illness and recovery is very achievable with the right help and treatment. To seek help for your depression, you must first see your GP or family doctor so they can diagnose you with depression. Only a doctor can diagnose depression and help you work out which treatment plan is right for you. They may also want to run some blood tests to ensure that there are no physical illnesses causing your depression. Your doctor may suggest starting you on medication to treat your depression, such as anti-depressants, or they may suggest that you need a course of therapy, or a combination of both. Research suggests that recovery success rates in people with depression are much higher in people who receive a combination of therapy and medication.

Your doctor will want to monitor your depression closely so you will need to see your doctor regularly, especially if you need to take medication. In more complex cases where depression isn’t responding to treatment, your doctor may suggest that you are seen by a psychiatrist. This is nothing to be scared of or worried about. A psychiatrist is a specialist in mental health, and will ensure that you are receiving the right treatment and will monitor you closely.

Tips for Seeking Help With Depression

It is very scary when you are talking to the doctor for the first time. It can feel intimidating and can put you off going to see them. Here a few tips to help you talk to your doctor:

Write down everything you would like to say to the doctor. This is helpful because you may feel too anxious to talk when you get there, so if you can’t talk or forget something, this can be very helpful for both you and your doctor.

Take somebody with you. This may not be applicable in all cases, but taking somebody who knows you well and trusts you can help. Their presence may help you feel more at ease, they can be a great source of support and they may be able to talk to the doctor about how they feel the depression is affecting you (the doctor will ask for your permission to speak to them and they will do this with you present).

Be honest. Being honest is the best way to getting the correct help and treatment. If you only tell the doctor half the story, then they will not get the full picture and despite their qualifications, doctors are not mind readers. Doctors can only act based on what you tell them. If you went to the doctor after suffering from a broken leg and the pain was unbearable, and you tell them the pain is only mild then the doctor will not give you the appropriate analgesia because you told them your pain was mild. The same applies with depression.

Depression Links and Resources

Here a few links and resources that you may find useful and helpful. If you come across any others that are not here and you think it will be beneficial to other members, then please post them in this thread and we will add them into this post.

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-…gclid=CLvfxvOhx8UCFYvpwgodV74AsA#.VVe-helFBMs

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-resources

http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression

Depression Self Help

http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/depression.asp

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/depression.htm

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm

Get Help on the Forum and in Chat – Share Your Experiences!

Please use the forum and chat to other members about your experiences with depression. It helps to talk to people who have experienced depression who will understand what you are going through. Sharing experiences, hints and tips are useful to other members, and be sure to post if are you are looking for support, help and advice.

Does Talking Really Help?

Member Submission — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 10:46:59 +0000

Everybody says that people should talk about problems and not bottle them up. Is that good advice? According to both old adages and modern psychologists the answer is a clear yes. Talking through things that are bothering a person allows them to define the problem, keep it in perspective, and look at it more objectively. When people keep all their problems and emotions bottled up it can cause additional stress and may cause all the problems to run together as the mind tries to jump from one to the other until they seem endless and insurmountable.

Talking can allow valuable input from others on how to deal with situations. It allows the person talking to get the benefit of both experience and knowledge of others in processing problems and issues when the listener gives feedback. Even just affirmation that it is a legitimate problem or feeling has value. The sharing of problems very often gives a feeling of having lessened the burden some because once it is shared there is a perception that you are not alone with the issue anymore.

So why is it so hard to talk about problems and feelings? Social pressures and stigmas can make some feel weak or needy if they talk about things. The urge to be self-reliant is very strong in many people and even kindled by cultural expectations. Even if one can overcome the cultural or learned social expectations, there are still ramifications about some issues.

Talking about money problems could lead others to believe the person is not responsible or even untrustworthy. Talking about feelings may make others feel they are over sensitive or “too uptight”. Whether people like to admit it or not, even while they tell people to talk about their problems, when the person does finally open up there are far too often real unintended real world ramifications to the way others see them or feel about them. It only takes a couple episodes of negative responses for a person to decide the risk of talking outweighs the potential benefit.

Where professional counselors and therapists come in is they allow the positive benefits of sharing the problems and feelings without the same potential social risks. Moreover, they are trained in how to guide conversations to be more productive, and to see past smaller issues to the larger underlying issues.

An oversimplified example might be the problem wasn’t the spouse forgot to pick up some grocery items on the way home that caused the person to feel like they are in a doomed relationship, the real problem is they feel like they are never listened to or that the person does not care about their needs or desires in general.

From this point the trained professional might help a person go through a logical list of examples where the spouse has done these things many times or that it is actually infrequent and allow a person to determine if the reaction is justified or not, and in that manner to cope with the feelings better; or the opposite and see the reason the person was so upset about a small thing was it is in fact a small example of a recurring much larger problem, so while the specific thing was small, they were correct in being alarmed overall and not over-reacting.

While having a trained professional is a great support, not all have access to counselors and therapists, and it is not reasonable to be able to get a professional for everything that comes up a person might want to discuss. Many people in the world simply do not have a large enough support network of trustworthy friends or family to listen to them. Some issues also have too high of social risk to for many to feel comfortable talking about to friends or family.

If topics like depression and anxiety carry a high social risk, then how does one discuss self-harm like cutting, or actual suicidal thoughts without feeling like they are seriously risking the relationship and trust of their friends and family? If somebody has suicidal thoughts on a frequent basis or has been suffering from depression for a long period of time they cannot see a professional every time a negative thought enters their mind. Friends and family often have no experience in listening and offering feedback on these issues, so that silence comes across as not caring and may make it feel like sharing was a mistake.

Use of anonymous peer support groups has been proven very effective for many people in dealing with the harder problems and feelings. Everything from addiction to suicidal thoughts has peer groups that will allow people talk to others that have had similar experiences so are not judgmental, and the anonymous nature relieves the social risk of disclosure. Also peer support groups allow far more frequent help than professional services. They fulfill the vital role of sharing thoughts and feelings while relieving the burden of feeling alone, without social risk to the person that is sharing. It is a chance to talk to people that actually understand the feelings and problems because they have had similar feelings or issues currently or in the past. It allows one to not only have a chance to talk, but to be listened to and understood as well.

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